The Sarcastic Tales of Isabella Swan
by weirdanimegeek
Summary: I have been desperately longing for him to finally ask me out. You would think the whole 'Oh-let's-have-sex-while-being-at-band-camp' thing would give him the hint that I was into him. No dice. I swear, how blind can Jasper Whitlock be? Rev. 1.0 underway, see profile for details.
1. Mommy, Dress Me

**_Revision 1.0_**

**I'd like to thank my fans for being so supportive of my other two Twilight stories. Hope you like this one. It's a little Jasper/Bella fic that's full of the teen drama that seems to seep into every high school clique. Rated M for reasons! Enjoy.**

**Yeah I'm not Stephenie Meyer.**

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><p><strong>Chapter One - Mommy, Dress Me<strong>

It was the beginning of the end of summer. People were talking about their awesome summer in the Hampton's or the 'juiceheads' they slept with in Jersey fucking Shore. And yet, I sat in my room, alone, a full pint of cookie dough ice cream perched on my bedside table, while reminiscing about my time at band camp. Oh, the life of a socially awkward drum major.

Even though I was in the drum line, I was the coolest girl that's ever attended Forks High School. Okay, maybe the cookie-dough was getting to my head and making me loopy. Contrary to what I'd like to believe, I was not so popular, but in my defense, why would I want to be like those snotty rich kids? I was so good at being the local freak. Or at least that's what I kept telling myself every morning to get through the day.

I was just the average girl living in a small rainy town with a set of rather weird parents. My dad, Charlie, is turning thirty-five this year, and my mom, Renee, was floating on the edge of thirty-four. Yes, my parents were ridiculously young and it's all my dad's irresponsible, overly-boyish thought process. I was a prom baby. Very cliche. But according to my dad it was a "last hoorah" and also "very important" to my mother. He swore that she wept when it was all done.

I was going to turn sixteen in just a few months and in total I have had only one boyfriend. Yeah, it's pretty pathetic. I've only been kissed once and it was the worst kiss ever. The guy was Warren Stanford and he was like a human vacuum. No lie, he licked my teeth and almost bit my tongue off. Did I mention he had braces? Gross didn't even begin to cover it.

That's neither here nor there, however.

Today was the first day of my sophomore year and I was definitely not excited for this year. Especially since my summer was the best summer a girl could ever ask for. I mean, band camp was so epic! I don't understand why every single person dragged to that blissful haven complains about wasting weeks in the middle of a forest. Heavy sarcasm there.

A buzzing suddenly went off and my eyes flickered over to my phone. I set the spoonful of cookie dough in my mouth and stretched to grab my phone. I looked at the screen before answering, a smile spreading across my face when I read the caller ID.

"_Hey bitch_."

"Sup slut," I replied after removing the spoon from my mouth.

There was a slight rustling on the other line, but then she spoke. "_Oh my gosh, Bella, you whore. You haven't even called me since the day you left for your dorky band camp_."

"Haha Rosalie. I missed you, too."

"_Seriously you missed out on so much. Emmett finally got his head out of his ass and came to me, begging on his knees for forgiveness. So I dumped that asshat Royce and got back with Em. I swear Bella, he's like a totally different person now. No more nonsensical fucking, which I do miss, but we're good now _," she said in one single breath. That girl could talk a mile a minute.

"Damn. Rosalie Hale and Emmett McCarty back together? What else did I miss?" I said, rolling my eyes because the fact that Rose and Em were back to kissing face wasn't anything new.

"_That bitch Alice is all over Alec now. I don't really understand why cause my gaydar points that he's strutting the very thin line between Perez and Liberace. He's cool though, once you ignore his questionable association with Alice. Oh, and guess what I just found out? Jasper Whitlock is back on the market. I heard he dumped his girlfriend back in Texas this summer. Rumor is that he 'met' somebody. Just a nice way of saying he's a cheater_…"

Even if I tried, I couldn't focus on what exactly Rose was saying. Memories were rushing to the forefront of my mind, and I entered a hazy tunnel within my thoughts.

Jasper Whitlock. The guy I've liked ever since I was in the seventh grade. It was those damn golden curls and those green eyes that sparkle in the sunlight. Or maybe it was his Texan accent that always snuck out when he talked to the opposite gender. Or maybe the fact that he was on both the varsity soccer and football teams. Oh and he could play the guitar and drums? Insert sigh.

It's sad really. I mean, it's depressing knowing that he was always gorgeous, even back in middle school, and now he was some ethereal god gracing my undeserving presence. Okay, Bella, focus.

It all started at band camp-I know it's cliche, but like I said, my whole existence emerged from a cliche. So bite me.

_So I arrived at camp, drum sticks and heavy luggage in hand, just to find out that this whole camping thing was not mandatory, something my band advisor failed to mention. No, it was only for the nerds that wanted to start earning extra cred before school was even out._

_So fuck my life, right? Wrong. It turned out that Jasper Whitlock was there, in the same camp, breathing the same pine-fresh air as me. He was in the drum line at Forks High, but I hardly ever saw him at practice. Jasper was so good at playing the drums that he didn't even have to show up to practice. Amazing, huh?_

_Anyway, I suffered for two months at that camp, staring at him during rehearsals, during bonfires, even while he ate. I didn't talk to him, or anybody else for that matter. The girls in my cabin didn't realize that I was also a girl, so needless to say that when I stripped they kept staring at my boobs._

_"Holy shit, Becca! You have some nice tits." A pretty girl from the flute section exclaimed while pointing at my chest. That was embarrassing. So embarrassing that I had to resort to using baggy sweaters._

_The camp directors threw a going away dinner on the last night and I was sitting by myself. I picked at my burger and decided to not even bother smiling at the people around me. I hated eating in front of people. The way they stare at me- you'd think I inhaled my food or some shit._

_I got up, threw away my uneaten meal and made my way back to my cabin. I was halfway there when I was suddenly pulled into a deserted cabin. My lungs were ready to let out a scream that would travel to Japan, but once I saw who grabbed me, all oxygen left my body._

_Jasper Whitlock was here. With me. In the same room. And he was staring at me with those pretty green eyes. I couldn't help but blush at his close proximity._

_"Hey." His smile literally made me want to jump him…and I did._

_I didn't feel bad about jumping him. Okay, honestly, I started feeling bad once he actually shoved his meat stick into me, a little too forcefully. He stopped his movements and looked down at me, shock clearly written all over his face. I guess my squeal was an obvious giveaway of my discomfort._

_"You-you're a virgin?" he said with a hint of embarrassment and maybe regret._

_I don't know why he was embarrassed. I mean, I was the one that was still a virgin. He was probably way more experienced than I would ever be. Girls practically scratched each others eyes out just to be next to him. I, on the other hand, well, Warren Stanford made me believe that licking teeth was the main qualification of a good kisser._

_A sudden feeling had come over me, maybe it was pleasure or confidence or whatever, but I bit my lip. I grabbed at his curly hair that reached his chin and brought him closer to my face._

_My voice was husky, a foreign whisper spewing from my mouth. "Correction. I was a virgin." And with that I kissed him with so much force that when he pulled away he had a breathtaking smile on his face._

_He was amazing. So amazing that he made me made me orgasm three times. He only came once, which I didn't put much thought to at first, but he had some serious stamina. Yeah, I could've done better, but at least I got what I wanted. That is until he handed me back my shirt, dressed himself, gave me a smile and left me in that cabin, without a glance backwards, like a loner._

At that time, I failed to realize that it was probably just a fuck for him. For me, though, it was so much more. More than anybody would ever know.

"_Bella, are you listening, you skank_?"

I wiped away the tear that rolled down my cheek and nodded, forgetting the fact that Rosalie was on the phone, not in my room.

"Yeah, I just sort of dozed off for a while. Sorry, what were you saying?" I lamely told her.

"_Uh uh. You were thinking of something or better yet of Jasper. Are you finally going to get at him? He's free game_."

"Um Rose it's not that easy. I'm not as pretty as you or as well-bestowed," I countered, a whiney tone clear in my voice.

I knew I was making up random reasons but it was pretty much the truth. I was not pretty, unless plain brown eyes and brown hair were suddenly considered the new 'thing'. I had an okay figure, but once I was compared to Rosalie, I looked like a beached whale.

Rose had an hourglass figure, bigger boobs, a nicer ass, pretty blonde hair, ocean-like eyes and the list just went on. I had no clue why she was my friend. I have asked this question to her more times than I could count and every time I would ask this, she would roll her eyes and mumble about how the people at school are "stupid bitch ass cunts". Her words, not mine.

As if she knew that I was kicking my own ass she started to lay it on me and I mean she began to tell me how I belonged in fucking Playboy. Crazy ass blondie.

"Listen, I gotta go, but call me if you need anything," I quickly said anything that came to mind just so I could get out of this whole conversation.

"_Oh no. You are not hanging up on_-"

"Love you, bye!"

"_Bella_!" My finger pressed the 'end call' button and then I was good to go. I sighed, before throwing my phone on my bed and rubbing my eyes. I needed to explain things to Rosalie and not just to her. Maybe I was going to have to tell Jasper how I really felt.

It was time to come clean. What did I have to lose? Oh, I dunno, my pride and any remaining dignity that's escaped the evil clutches of the jerks at school. I just had to put myself out there. It couldn't possibly be so difficult. Yes it could, especially since I only had two friends. I repeat that, two friends.

I shook the pessimistic thoughts out of my head and looked out my window, the heavy sleet blocking out my view of the woods behind my house.

I hated living in this bum-fuck of a town. It was basically my own personal hell, only just a smidge colder and a lot wetter. Most of the people living in Forks had there heads so far up their own ass that it was hard to believe they knew which way was up. Stupid uptight assholes.

My dad and mom were judged for being, and I quote 'irresponsible kids thinking they could play house', but when compared to some of the other parents, I didn't want to be a humble-brag, but mine were pretty cool. Or that's just my opinion. My dad was a police officer for the FPD and I don't know what my mom does, but she did something during the day.

Yeah, I was a cop's kid, through and through; something nobody ever let me forget. After years of it being thrown in my face, though, I have gotten used to it.

"Bella!" I jumped at my mom's scream and looked up to see her standing in my doorway. As I looked at her, I saw her carrying this black and red dress that had holes on the sides and a slit going down the chest area. What was she doing?

"Um mom, I don't know what you're planning on doing, but-"

"You're going to wear this today, silly," she cut me off and started to walk towards me, hands holding out the dress to me.

My back was pressed against my headboard and I could feel the grimace forming on my face. Why did she have to do this today of all days?

"Ha mom, funny thing is, school dress code doesn't allow stripper attire. Strict rules to not show off the goods. So maybe you should just put that dress back into your closet now." It was a futile attempt to sway my mother, but seriously there was no way I was gonna wear something that revealing. It looked like a bunch of scraps of fabric tied together.

My mom had been doing this ever since I entered the sixth grade. Her reasoning for this was that she simply wanted me to live up to my name and truly be _bella. _I just don't remember telling her 'Mommy, dress me'.

"Bella, just put the dress off and show off your curves."

_And my ass and vagina. Maybe if I was lucky I would gracefully have a nipple slip. Classy Bella meets Slutty Bella._

"Yeah, no, very funny. You know I hate showing off my, as you so kindly put them, curves." Bring on the air quotes. I was on a roll today. Well, sort of.

She threw the dress at my face and glared at me. She even put her hands on her hips and stuck her chest out to make her chest look bigger, not like it didn't already. That's right, somehow my mom had better boobs than me, not that I was jealous or anything. It just made me wonder if she had any work done. If you know what I mean.

I stopped arguing with her, rolled my eyes, and agreed to wearing the dress. She gave me her Crest white smile before walking out of my room.

Now, saying and doing something were two totally different things. That's why I ended up changing into some jeans and a band tee before my mom checked on me. I grabbed my tennis shoes, slipped on my FPD sweatshirt and slung my backpack over my shoulder. I ran out the door, my keys in my pocket, then ran back for a blueberry muffin that was on the kitchen counter.

I ran past my dad, who was barely getting home from his graveyard shift, hurriedly yelling out a goodbye. I jumped into my Volzwagon van and swiftly started the car. The radio blasted my eardrums to smithereens and I fumbled with the volume dial for a few seconds.

Backing up from my driveway was easy-I could probably do it in my sleep- what really made me laugh was when my mother ran out the house. The skanky dress was in her hands and she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Isabella Marie come back and put this on!" Laughter bursted out of my mouth I shot a wink in the direction of my parents before waving.

My dad had an arm around my mom's shoulder and he was trying his best to console her. The last thing I heard my mom say was, "But, honey, I wanted pictures."

Yup, today was gonna be full of rainbows and unicorns.

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><p><strong>Yes, it was written on a whim, so any mistakes are purely my own. The little rainbows and unicorns comment is a little joke between my old high school teacher and I. Ah, good times, good times. Anyway, please review!<strong>

_**Revision 1.0 is pretty self-explanatory, but I want to clarify some things so there won't be any confusion. While I was on a temporary hiatus, I read over this particular fic and found so many errors it boggled my mind at how careless I was. My instinct was to delete it, rewrite, then upload it again. Then I began to slowly edit each chapter; clean this, cut that. Does this mean all chapters have been trashed and replaced with new ones? No, not at all. There have been some additions, but you do not have to go back and read everything. I will be replacing the old chapters with the new within a span of two months (possibly three), and hopefully I'll fall into a posting schedule. This has been on my list of 'To Do's' forever and I'm finally getting to it...thanks ya'll!**_

**~geek**


	2. Learning the SBC's

_**Revision**** 1.0**_

**I'd like to thank those that added this story to their alerts and reviewed. Thank you so much for the support. I greatly appreciate it. Grab a snack or something cause this chapter is sort of long.**

**I do not own.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two - Learning the SBC's<strong>

As I turned onto the highway, I began to tune onto my radio, instantly cringing at the talentless artists singing along to strange beats and pseudo new wave sounds. What was America listening to?

I shuddered and turned off the radio, instead opting to simply plug in my iPod and sing along to stories of paradise cities. In between yelled out 'take me home's' and heavy guitar riffs, I began to imagine just how this year would pan out. Maybe, since I've been collecting a bunch of good karma over the summer, the gods would finally push Jasper to ask me out.

Right, fat chance.

I was a social pariah, but just the fact that I was one of the lucky girls to be inducted into the Jasper Whitlock Hall of Bang made me a freakin' legend. Or at least in my mind. Who knew what Jasper actually felt about screwing me, the dorky cop's kid. I bet he regretted it the second after we did the nasty.

Just that thought alone caused the lyrics to die on the tip of my tongue.

Damn. I really had to tell Rose about what happened. She could probably give me some advice on this shit. Then again, her advice consisted of shopping for some ultra revealing clothes and tattoing the words 'Screw me, Jasper' on my forehead.

Okay, maybe not the last one, but she would definitely push me to tell Jasper I wanted some more hanky-panky. Not that I didn't, or did. No, wait. God, nevermind. I was beginning to sound like some horny ass teenager. Oh yeah, I _was_ a horny teenager that boned Jasper Whitlock at band camp. Touchdown dance!

I quickly pulled into the school parking lot and scanned across the lot for an empty space. Usually I got to school earlier just so I could avoid the sprawling traffic, but my mom's failed attempt to dress me made me late. I found a spot and was about to drive into it when a shiny Volvo zoomed past me and parked in the spot. I didn't hesitate to honk my car horn for a solid ten seconds.

The driver and passenger door opened and I scrunched up my nose in disgust. Alice Brandon and Edward Masen faced me, the two assholes that have, in a nutshell, ruined my life here at Forks High. I wanted to push them off the face of the planet so badly. I'd probably be doing everybody a huge favor.

Since middle school these two haughty, annoying pricks have been throwing insults at me on a daily basis. Not that it affected me, anymore at least, but it aggravated me to no end. Who the fuck cared if all my classes were AP? And, yeah, I have been gaining a couple more LB's, but so what? Did I ask you to count my calories? I didn't fucking think so.

I glared at Alice, with her stupid fresh off the runway clothes and stupid clown-makeup face and just stupid everything. She thought she was the shit because her mummy dearest worked for Donatella Versace and her precious daddy took over businesses for breakfast. Rich, schmoozing, jerks.

It's not like Alice was pretty. She probably couldn't even fill out a B cup. I'm sorry, but I didn't want to be a sixteen year old trapped in a toddler's body. Nope, I actually liked having boobs, thank you very much.

Alice simply waved at me, a smirk on her painted lips, before yelling out in a scratchy voice, "Thanks for the spot, Becca!"

I gripped the steering wheel and slightly eased up on the brakes. I applied pressure to the gas pedal and had to breathe to stop myself from ramming into this girl. Fuck, I wanted to run this bitch over.

With my jaw clenched, I cranked down my window manually and shouted back, "What's wrong with your voice, Mary? Sucked too much dick last night?"

Her smirk vanished, her shades were already adorning her face, when she directed her tiny as fuck middle finger towards me. I glanced toward Eddie-boy, who was running a hand through his frosted-tip bronze hair, and sweetly smiled at him. He scowled at me, his usual emo self, and put on some stupid shades.

Did they not see that it was raining…again? This town was wet nearly 360 days out of the whole year and yet they decided somewhere in the depths of their tiny brains that they should still wear sunglasses. Idiots.

While driving by Alice, I took my hands off the steering wheel and flipped her off with both hands, a shit-eating grin on my face.

I drove around the lot a couple times for an empty parking space and finally found one near the back of the lot. I quickly parked into the space and started grabbing all of my things. It was a good thing that I already picked up my schedule and books last week cause the lines in the office and book room would be hell.

I stepped out onto the wet pavement with my bag over my shoulder and locked up my car, not that anybody was going to steal it unless they wanted to unleash my dad's Bad Cop Wrath of Doom. I readjusted the strap of my bag and began my trek to the school I was stuck in for two more years.

My feet moved on autopilot as my eyes scanned the lot for Rose. I wouldn't be surprised if she was with Emmett. Sure enough, she was leaning on Em's Jeep, swapping spit with said car owner. Gag. Whenever Rose and Em started to make out, you'd think their lips were super glued together. It was cute, for the first few minutes, but once you saw all that tongue action and the serious macking down that Em was giving her, well...

I mean, don't get me wrong, Emmett was pretty chill. He was in our year, but the boy was a huge beast. Just his weight alone was intimidating. And in the blue corner, weighing in at a solid two-fifty-five, Emmett 'Bear' McCartney. Yup, totally scary. Add in the fact that he looked like he's been popping 'roids while in utero and you got a macho man. Secretly, though, he was a softie. He would try to give me his death stare, but in the end I'd always get his cute dimpled smile. Emmett was only fond of three things; Rosalie, football, and teasing my virginal status.

Too bad he didn't know I got some from his quarterback this summer.

Rosalie and Em managed to put their tongues in their respective mouths and separate from each other just as I reached them, thankfully. Rose jumped away from Em and sprinted at me, her speed never stopping even when she crashed into me. She nearly knocked me down to the ground with her hug.

"Bella!" she screamed at the top of her lungs as she jumped up and down in her excitement.

I blushed when I realized that every single student in the lot was staring at us. It probably didn't help that Rose and I were caught in a weird, embrace. Whatever, people already made snide comments about our friendship and how we were secretly lesbian lovers. I ducked my head, but squeezed Rose back with an equal strength.

She pulled away and held me at an arms length distance, her eyes looking me up and down. I blushed yet again and tugged on her hair, which got longer over the break.

"Ow, bitch. That hurt." I laughed at her expense and looked over her shoulder to wave at Emmett, shooting him my cheesy smile.

"Hey, Em." He flashed me his trademark smile and took the three steps to where Rose and I were standing.

He pulled me out of Rosalie's grip and crushed me in a tight bear hug. I clutched at his shoulder, my talon-like nails digging into the skin, and squealed as he spun me around in circles endlessly. His booming laughter seemed to echo around the lot, causing me to blush like crazy. I brought my arm back and lightly punched his beefy shoulder, which probably wasn't a good idea because my knuckles felt a little sore.

"Belly Button!" My horrid nickname fell from Emmett's lips. Cue the blush.

I smacked his cheek with a little too much force, but he got the message. He slowly placed me back to the ground, but not before winking at me. Once my feet hit the ground, he grabbed my arm and slowly spun me in a three-sixty, whistling as his eyes took me in.

"Damn, B. Camp did you some good. Look at you. There's more to hold onto now that you got-OW, babe that hurt." Rosalie decided now was the perfect time to smack some sense into her boyfriend.

I winced at Em's small comment about my weight gain, trying hard not to take offense. I didn't believe it was that noticeable, but if Em, who was as observant as a rock, managed to spot it, then I must be huge. I could just imagine what the rest of the school had to say. Stupid band camp and they're strict unhealthy meal plan.

My eyes fell to the ground, but that didn't stop Emmett from apologizing profusely. He was rambling and saying all kinds of ultra-flowery things. Like how he liked my newly developed curves. I clenched my eyes shut and shook my head a little bit at the whole situation. I was being a drama queen, but damnit I was sensitive about that topic.

The bell rang and I exhaled a breath in relief.

"It's okay, Emmett. Just need to hit the gym, right?" I tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice, but judging by the look on Emmett's face, I failed horribly.

"Bella, I-"

"Fuck, Emmett. Go to fucking class." I shot Rose an appreciative smile at her interruption, and also gave a weak smile to Em. He still looked regretful, but at least he smiled back.

I started to walk to my first class, which Rose so happened to be in, too. I didn't say anything when she told me this little fact, causing a deadly silence to settle between us. My lack of verbal communication must have unnerved Rose because every so often she would huff angrily and give me her patented side-eye.

Normally I would have joked about Em's comment and not let it affect me, but this was something I was really sensitive about. The whole weight thing was a really sore topic; even my mom steered away from it, for the most part. I haven't really talked about my weight problem ever since I embraced the fact that I wasn't ever going to be rail-thin. Like I've said before, it usually didn't affect me. I just hated the fact that other people noticed my body's changes so freakin' easily.

Rose finally cracked and said quickly, "I'm sorry Emmett is such a dumbass." I shook my head, my lips already curving into a smile as we entered our English class.

I scanned the room and settled for some seats at the back. Typically jocks sat at the desks in the back of the classroom, mainly to avoid answering any of the teacher's questions, but Rose got along with them perfectly fine, and so did I...by association.

I sank into a desk with a mosaic of juvenile graffiti. Carvings of initials and miniscule 'was here's' scratched onto the wood. I traced the etches with a finger, deciding whether I should ask Rose something I've dying to ask her.

Keeping my eyes on the desk and my tone conversational, I asked, "Can you really notice it that much?"

I looked up and looked right back down. Dang, Rose could seriously murder people with that glare.

I guess that was my cue to abort my woe-is-me mood and put the idea out of mind. I tried to not roll my eyes at the rant I had caused. Gosh, she didn't understand what it was like to feel self-conscious. No, sir. I bet Rose could have walked into a room full of the most gorgeous models and watch as their egos would instantly inflate, along with any confidence they once had. She was just so gorgeous and I, I was that whatever, bleh kind of girl. It sucked being pegged as just Rosalie Hale's fat dorky friend...who, let's not forget, was a cop's kid.

Hopefully Jasper didn't see me that way. Maybe he liked me and oh gosh, I really had to stop thinking about him. It's as if I genuinely enjoyed setting myself up for disappointment.

"Isabella Marie Swan you have the hottest body ever and oh my god Jasper Whitlock is in this class."

My head snapped up so fast that I was shocked I didn't get whiplash or break my neck. I looked towards the door and around the classroom, but there was no Jasper Whitlock in sight. My eyes scanned the room two more times, hoping I somehow missed sight of the blonde heartthrob.

I narrowed my eyes at Rose, my hands itching to smack her and that smug little smile. "You, whore. I hate you."

She giggled and threw her arm around my shoulders. I rolled my eyes yet again at my blonde friend because only she knew me like no other. I had to give her credit, though. She managed to derail the trainwreck that was the 'I hate my body' talk. When a rather cute substitute teacher walked into the class to announce that Mrs. Hill was in labor, Rose and I talked till the end of the period.

Once the bell rang, Rose and I separated since our classes were in different sides of the school.

As I walked down the hall to my math class, I ran into Jessica Stanley, the local nosy gossip who also happened to be the local floozy. That girl fucked anything with a heartbeat, no questions asked. No, I take that back. I heard that she actually fucked a carrot, which was the biggest myth in this small town, but every rumor had a basis of truth. Guess she's just that desperate.

"Bella! I heard your little scene with Alice earlier. Let me tell you, I never knew the cop kid had a backbone," her annoying nails-on-chalkboard voice was overheard by everybody in the hall, which brought unwanted attention upon myself. I felt major damage to my ears and I gritted my teeth as Jessica continued to speak about my nonexistent courage.

Keep your cool, Swan. Keep your cool.

"Also, I really am shocked that you haven't seemed to notice those love handles spilling over your last season jeans. Y'know, I run every other day from five to six. If you want, I'll run with you. I need some motivation and I'm sure that if I look at your body for a couple seconds, I will have enough motivation to lose a couple of those LB's. Hey, did you hear that Jasper Whit-"

And my patience just snapped.

"Shut the hell up, Jessica! Who cares if I told Alice off? She's a bitch who has no friends except for Emo Eddie. And why do you give a fuck if I gained like ten pounds? I don't even fucking care about my weight. Besides, if you run as much as you say you do, you wouldn't scarf down all that junk food like some underfed cow. You seem to have a couple Twinkies on your back, though. And as for motivation, maybe your motivation should be to find an actual dick to fuck instead of a carrot, dumb bitch."

I walked away, with a skip in my step, and I was vaguely aware of all the students' eyes on me. At this point I didn't even care. I just told off a fellow classmate and that was like a triple shooting star. I never told anybody off, no matter the situation.

"That was one time!" Jessica screamed as I walked away and I threw my head back and laughed. Poor, sad girl.

Classes went by quickly and in every single one, random people in my class gave me high fives. I smiled and listened to most of the teachers drone on about how we should behave in the class and amongst our peers. Of course, the teachers directed their little speeches and glares towards me since they heard about the Alice-Jessica thing. I was on cloud nine thousand infinity. Nobody could touch me.

Soon lunch came and Rosalie and I were giggling about the whole thing. She was really surprised that I told two people off on the same day. She even teared up a little and said she was proud of me. A drama queen, that one.

"Bella, why is Jasper Whitlock walking over here?" The fork I was holding slipped from my fingers, slid off the table, and landed onto the ground.

She was kidding.

"Screw you, Rose. I am not falling for that crap again." My voice shook and I lamented how pathetic I sounded.

"Damn, I thought you would've," she said, a glint in her azure eyes.

My shoulders lost all the tension and I visibly relaxed. I sunk into my seat and stole her unused fork. My noodles were getting cold and my stomach was rumbling.

I was chewing on my food, a noodle hanging out of my mouth, when the chair next to me was suddenly being used by none other then Jasper Whitlock. I sucked in a breath, forgetting that I still had noodles in my mouth, and started to choke and sputter.

Jasper crinkled his brows before awkwardly patting my back. This made me giddy inside and I was damn near dying from suffocation. I wanted to puke out my food and jump Jasper's bones all at once, which wouldn't be a good combo. I finally swallowed when Rose told me to quit making a scene. Bitch didn't even help save my life.

To say the moment after my noodle failure was nice would be a total lie. It was awkward and I refused to look anywhere, but my apple. And the apple wasn't even a nice looking one. It was some crappy yellow-brown color. What color was that? Brellow? Yown?

"Hey Hale, have you seen Emmett?" Jasper finally broke the uncomfortable silence and I instantly blushed, even though he wasn't talking me.

His voice was so rough and oozed hotness. It made me think of summer and late nights smoking cigarettes. Probably not that attractive, but damn that voice could do things to the strong-willed.

"Sorry, I haven't seen him since second…"

She kept on talking, but I was too busy fantasizing about Jasper. That voice of his just did things to you. I bet he could read me the Bible and I would melt at his feet. Wait, was that unholy? I don't really know. I mean, I was never really religious. Charlie called himself a true follower of Sportsism and my mom worshipped Christian Dior.

"What about you, Bella?" a loud voice broke through my musings and I instantly said 'no' without even thinking.

It was a habit of mine, but when you had a friend like Rose, who threw you questions at random, 'no' was usually the answer. At least most of the time.

There was a deep sigh and then the sound of a chair being scraped against the linoleum floor. I looked up just in time to see Jasper glance over to me. The corner of his lips slightly curved upwards and I couldn't help but smile back at him, albeit a little awkwardly.

"Thanks, Rose. See ya around, Bella."

"B-bye," I fumbled over the one word, waving at his retreating back. I felt so dumb.

Thankfully, though, the bell rang and I knew I had to get away from Rose before she started making fun of my social awkwardness.

I turned heel and damn near sprinted in the direction of my next class. I slowed down as I reached the choir class, my breath coming out in short breaths. It was the class I was looking forward to the least. I hated singing in public and I hated my band teacher, Mr. Knox, for even suggesting the idea. I already had drumline to practice and now I was thrown unwillingly into choir, too. Somebody kill me.

"Okay, class," Mrs. Lane's melodic voice echoed throughout the soundproof room, "Grange do try and pretend to be remotely interested in the theater. Your lack of enthusiasm is killing me slower than my husband. Now, where was I? Oh yes, I will start off with placing you in pitch groups. You'll all go up alphabetically, so first on my list is, Isabella Swan."

What the fuck? I was always towards the end of role call! I didn't remember learning that the letter 's' began the ABC's. Mrs. Lane might as well change the ABC's to SBC's and teach them to every toddler. I grumbled out how I already loathed the class before getting out of my seat in the back, walking around some haphazardly thrown backpacks, and stood in front of the class.

The lights went off temporarily, but a spotlight was quickly turned on and focused on me. Wow, Mrs. Lane had a cool set up in here-too bad she was one sandwich short of a full picnic. I felt sweat bead on my forehead and I wiped my hands on the back of my jeans.

_ Don't mess up. They're nothing. Swallow that puke coming up your throat. _

"Sing," Mrs. Lane said in a clipped tone. This singing business wasn't a joke to her. I was in serious shit.

I audibly gulped and heard some snickers come from my peers.

_You're gonna mess up. You're nothing__. You're gonna throw up._

"A whole song?"

"No. Just a chorus would be nice, Isabella."

I opened my mouth to protest, but instead I actually started singing. My voice seemed to travel around the room so I snapped my eyes shut so I wouldn't see any sneers or looks of deep disapproval.

I sang about the players playing and the cleansing rain that let me know. I sang and didn't open my eyes. I sang. Oh my gosh, I actually sang.

I chanced a glance at Mrs. Lane and bit my lip when she smiled at me with a dreamy look clouding her eyes. Could've sworn she was being snappy just a few minutes ago.

Mrs. Lane shot out of her seat, and began to clap along with a couple students. I ran a hand through my hair, a nervous tic of mine, and looked down at my shoes. I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks, but thankfully the vomiting feeling I was battling earlier seemed to leave.

"Magnificent. If you can sing a song like that then you are definitely a soprano, Miss Swan. I am glad Mr. Knox recommended you." Yeah, that made one of us, Mrs. Lane.

I gave her one last smile before stepping away from the front of the classroom and walking back to my seat. I silently watched students step onto the stage and sing songs that I wouldn't be caught dead listening to. Eric Yorkie, a kid with bad acne scars and hair that could probably give more oil than actual oil wells, seriously tried to rap. The whole time he was up there I couldn't stop laughing like a mad woman. All he was saying was "swag" and a few other weird phrases.

"And that's some Drizzy Drake for ya, Mrs. L," Eric all but shouted while crossing his arms over his chest and puckering his lips in a duck-like fashion.

"Yes, cause we all know that's music at its finest," retorted a disembodied voice. I looked around the room and caught sight of Jasper Whitlock carrying a green slip of paper.

Today must be my lucky day. Two run-ins in less than 2 hours.

"Ah, Mr. Whitlock. So great of you to join us." Jasper shot her a grin as he walked over to her. When he tried to hand the slip of paper to Mrs. Lane, she waved him away. "No, no I don't need that paper. Just take her. Let me call her. Miss Swan, if you could so kindly accompany Mr. Whitlock back to Mr. Knox's classroom."

My jaw dropped and I stared unabashedly at Jasper. I did not want to walk with him alone. I mean, I did, but what if I got a bad case of word vomit? Oh my god, maybe I was going to trip and eat it hard. Or what if I actually throw up? Or what if I told him I've been in love with him since the seventh grade?

"Umm, Bella, now would be nice," Jasper's deep voice filled the class and I groaned.

Fuck me, please.

I picked up my bag and walked towards the front of the class, my eyes downcast, and I glanced at Jasper from under my eyelashes. Man, I was such a dork.

"Miss Swan, if you can, please practice singing. We will be singing tomorrow so be prepared to lead," Mrs. Lane smiled at me and turned back to the class with a flurry.

I blinked a couple times because surely I heard her wrong. She did not just say that I was going to lead the class. Fuck it all.

I turned towards the door in silence and started to walk with Jasper to Mr. Knox's classroom, which was on the other side of the school. We walked quietly together and my discomfort was ratcheting up a few notches with each passing second. I was about to combust when Jasper started to speak.

"So, you must sing really good if you're leading tomorrow," he stated, a hint of playfulness in his voice.

Despite my nervousness, I laughed. I laughed so hard, I felt tears prickle the corners of my eyes. I still didn't fully comprehend Mrs. Lane's decision. She was thrusting me into the limelight, right front and center, for the whole world to see my failure. The whole things was hysterical. After my chuckles died out, I replied to his comment.

"Yeah, I guess. I don't know why. I'm not really good at singing or anything for that matter. I don't really think I'm good at anything aside from reading. Sure, I can carry a note, and yeah maybe my pitch is good, but I don't think I was good-good. Anybody could sing Fleetwood Mac. There has to be somebody else in the class that can sing better than me. And I'll shut up now cause I'm rambling." I blushed and looked away from Jasper's smirk.

I just made myself look so stupid in front of the hottest guy in the whole world. Where the hell was my dad's shotgun when I needed it?

Jasper's laughter filled the empty corridor and my shoulders slumped ever so slightly. He was laughing at me. The gorgeous, Greek god was laughing at me. Of course he would. He was popular and I was just that cop's kid.

I glared through my tears at the stretch of hallway in front of us and didn't speak for the rest of the walk. Neither did Jasper.

It turned out that Mr. Knox just wanted us to practice our drumming. My sticks weren't in my bag since I rushed in the morning and forgot to grab them. Curse my mom. I had to borrow some shitty ones that were wrapped in peeling tape and the whole time I used them, I longed for my own sticks. It felt like I wasn't being faithful to a friend, which was crazy cause drum stucks were just sticks.

_Right, sure they were._

After the bell rang I walked towards my van and looked through my bag for my keys. I got to my car and was about to unlock my car when I saw a little Sticky Note taped to my windshield. I looked around other cars to see if they had one too, but I found that mine was the only one with a note.

My fingers reached out for the note and I yanked it off my windshield.

"Bella!" I jumped a foot in the air at the scream and whirled around, a hand clutching my beating heart. "Can I come over today? I really don't want to talk to Emmett."

"Holy shit, Rose. You scared the shit out of me," I told her while lightly smacking her arm.

She just snickered and walked to the passenger side. I sighed and placed the note inside my bag for later inspection.

I unlocked my car and jumped in. I reached over to unlock the passenger side. Rose opened the door and clambered inside. Her feet instantly rested on the dashboard as she began to mess with my radio.

She exhaled a deep breath through her nose before muttering how she had to check my car's something-something cables. I hummed in response and drove out the lot, laughing and singing along with Rose to some classic rock. In the back of my mind, there was a voice nagging me to tell Rose what happened at camp. I pushed away the voice and smiled at her. It was my secret.

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><p><strong>So, there it is. Capitulo numbero dos. To those that didn't quite catch it, the song Bella sang is 'Dreams' by Fleetwood Mac. I suggest ya'll check it out if you haven't heard it. Stevie Nicks is just amazing... I hope it wasn't all too bad. Reviews make me update faster. Hint, hint.<strong>

**~geek**


	3. Mean Words and A Not-So-Secret Hater

_**Revision 1.0**_

**I have to thank everybody that read, added the story to any of their lists, or reviewed. Thank you for all o****f the support. If it wasn't for all of y'all I'd be somewhere in isolation and this story would just be taking up space on my hard drive.**

**Of course I do not own Twilight. If I did, Jasper would have given Bella some of that magic peen a long time ago.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three - Mean Words and A Not-So-Secret Hater<strong>

We got to my house within ten minutes, a new record. But as soon as I parked, the rain picked up and it began to pour buckets. Rose ran for shelter under the front porch, screaming, "fuck you, Mother Nature," the whole way. I shook my head at her antics and got my bag from my van.

"Oh yeah, take your precious time. It's not like I'm gonna freeze to death or anything," Rose said sarcastically, her hands rubbing up and down her arms in an attempt to warm herself.

At her comment I walked even slower, exaggerating the timing of every step. "What was that?" I replied between laughter.

Once I reached the door, Rose yanked my keys away and unlocked the door faster than my clumsy fingers ever could.

She began to tease me once she dropped her bag on the couch and slippee off her wet shoes. "Seriously, Mr. Osborne moves faster than you, and he's ancient. I'm surprised that he's even living past one hundred."

I rolled my eyes and took off my shoes after I closed the door. I left my shoes in the middle of the hallway, knowing how much it would drive my mother nuts. Served her right for making me cheat on my drum sticks.

"So, my wonderful friend that never keeps secrets from me, why didn't you tell me that Jasper was at your little band camp?" Rose casually remarked from her position on the sofa. To anybody else she would look relaxed, no cares in the world. I saw right through her. Her shoulders were tense with anticipation and I could tell she was slightly annoyed.

I froze for a moment before regaining my composure. Damn this guilt was fucking eating me up. I was such a bitch for keeping this entire shit top secret. And for what? I didn't even really have a valid excuse for not telling her. I felt like a big ass pile of steaming shit. I wasn't lying to her, but leaving out the truth was just as bad.

"Didn't think it was important," I muttered.

I shrugged while walking down the hall and pushed the kitchen door open. My feet carried me over to our refrigerator and I stood in front of it, just staring. Our refrigerator was the awesomest fridge in the whole planet, not because it was fancy, but because it had a glass door. Have you ever seen a transparent refrigerator? Yeah, I didn't either until two guys from the appliance company came to the house to set it up. Five months later and I was still staring at the electrical appliance. Weird, I know.

The kitchen door banged against the wall and I tipped my head to the right a little.

_One. Two. Three._

"Fuck, you're staring at the fridge again?" Right on time.

I turned to look over at my annoying best friend. An irritated expression appeared on her too pretty face when I arched an eyebrow at her. I had no idea why she had that expression.

"Want anything?" I muttered, my back facing her again, as I started to rummage through my fridge in search of a Hot Pocket or anything to fight off the hunger that was crippling me.

Her snort was my only answer so I pulled out a water bottle and tossed it without turning towards her. I didn't hear any thud so I guessed she caught thr bottle. Wouldn't have been the first time I failed to throw something. My hands and feet weren't made for normal physical activities.

Want to walk? _Face meet the floor. _Throw a ball? _Ha, good luck with that._

I shook my head before slamming the fridge door in a huff. I looked at Rose who didn't even try to keep a smug smile off her face.

She tapped her fingers on the counter, her grin widening slowly, and stated, "You ran out of Hot Pockets, didn't you?"

I frowned at her. "Yes. God, my mom must've done this shit on purpose. Not even one fucking egg, Rose. I bet she did this cause I didn't wanna wear that strip of fabric she called a dress," I answered in a quick breath.

Rose smirked and gracefully jumped onto the marble counter of the kitchen island. I sat on the stool behind the island and watched her.

"You should've worn the dress. Maybe that would've made Jasper finally fuck you."

A little late for that. He already did.

I chuckled nervously, trying my best to squash the guilty feeling that was growing deep in the pit of my stomach. I should have told her by now. I may not have been outright lying to her face, I was keeping secrets. And I never omitted the truth from her, so why should I start now?

Probably because she was going to go all crazy on my ass and pester me about how Jasper was Grade A. Grade A for asshole, according to Rose. For some reason they didn't get along, and whenever they talked there was always that layer of politeness thinly veiling a mutual hatred. She wouldn't like him, but she'd badger me endlessly until I grabbed the bull by the horns and proclaimed my feelings or whatever to Jasper. Which was not going to happen because believe it or not, I actually had dignity. I wasn't going to throw it all away for a boy that didn't even know I existed. Nope, fat chance.

My decision was made. I would keep my mouth shut. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Besides, my virginity - or lack of - wasn't that big of a deal. Not unless you managed to get Jasper Fucking Whitlock in between your legs. Which I did not too long ago. But, yeah, no need to ruffle those shiny feathers of hers.

First mission, distract her. "Haha, Rose, you are so funny. Remember the time we visited your cousin in New York and she kidnapped us to party in the Heights?"

Her nose scrunched up in disgust as the terrible memory of that night came to her. It was understood that we never speak of that night. Never.

"Tanya?"

"Okay well most of the girls there wore some ridiculous shit. I can vividly recall how I saw some chick's who-ha when she pulled up her tiny ass skirt. Then there was this other girl with a dress. Rose, I shit you not she had holes and rips that showed her whole body. Her nips were staring at me dead on. Anyway, Queen Elizabeth would rather wear that girl's dress than my mom's Sluterella costume."

I knew my mission succeeded when Rose broke into hysterics. She looked at me as if I had just said the funniest thing ever. Her eyes were full of tears and she clutched at her stomach, her face reddening slowly but surely. I laughed along with her, gripping at the countertop for extra support, because, hell, I was really funny. Our laughter eventually died down, but her face still held a little red tinge to it from all our ridiculousness.

The rest of the evening was spent in a lazy fashion. We swapped stories about our summer activities while munching on some of my mom's leftover eclairs. Okay, to put it more accurately, _Rose_ recounted her summer activities while _I_ gobbled down eclairs. I had brushed off my time at camp as being the equivalent to watching old people drool. Because it was pretty boring there.

My mom had walked into my room, screeching about her eclairs, but quieted down once she saw Rose. They hugged each other as if they were long lost friends reuniting, and I was on the sidelines, watching their weird conversation. Mom complimented her and began complaining about how I wouldn't take her fashion tips. I was severely tempted to remind her that scraps of fabric that barely covered your snatch and breasts weren't considered fashion. But I kept my mouth shut and attitude in check. Golden girl at her finest.

After I was compared to Rose by my dear mother, Rose ended up calling Emmett so he could pick her up. He complained, but told her he'd be over in fifteen minutes. Actually, his exact words were, "Jesus Christ, babe! I'll be over there once I fucking slaughter this fool!" I guess he was really getting into his little Halo death match. Whatever, just as long as he didn't make some prepubescent boy cry like last time. I cringed just thinking about the memory.

There was a loud honk outside my house a few minutes later and I sighed, not even bothering to check who it was. I already knew it was Emmett. He was continuously shouting out Rose's pet name and my nickname like some maniac.

"Looks like your prince charming is here, waiting outside. Patiently and quietly, I might add." I told Rose, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

She shook her head before gathering her things. I walked with her down the stairs grabbed some slippers as she put on her shoes. She looked down at my dragon slippers and smirked at my childish qualities. We slipped out of the house and as we walked on my lawn she asked me, "What's up with you walking me to Em's car?"

"Just making sure you don't get lost, Barbie." I joked, dodging the backhand she threw my way.

Emmett must have heard the jab because my ears began to ring due to his loud booming laughter. I grinned brightly at my favorite man. I forgot all about our misunderstanding earlier. How could I not? I knew that he wasn't intentionally trying to hurt me, mainly because he would never go out of his way to be cruel. Yeah, he was insanely male so he didn't know the things that usually spun normally nice girls into sensitive bitches. Em was a great guy and I wasn't going to hold a grudge over some compliment I found offensive.

He leaned over his steering wheel and looked at me with that dimpled smile of his. Cue my own stupid grin.

He winked at me, being the cheeky bastard he was, he whistled when he saw that I was in my pajama shorts. "B, have I ever told you how great your stems are? By the way, I totally owned that twerp in Halo." I knew he was being a little cocky now, most likely from beating some random teen at a video game, so I laughed along with him. I didn't have it in me to tell him how I could beat him in any video game just as easily. Let him have his moment because I've destroyed him with my eyes closed.

Rose was obviously still annoyed with him because her words were sharp as a knive. "Wow. You're such an ass. You never compliment my legs or my anything for that matter."

"Ah shit. Babe, y'know I think you're beautiful."

My vicious Blondie glared at him and opened Em's car door with very stiff motions. She crossed her arms across her chest, which caused Em's eyes to shoot to her chest, and began to pout.

"Rosie, babe, y'know I love you." His hands reached out to grab her. Bad idea.

She snorted and shot him a look that would make murderers shake. "No, _babe_, I know you can beat eleven year olds at childish and pointless games instead of showing your girlfriend you love her. Can you please drive me home now, Em?"

Emmett made a sound in the back of his throat and moved away from Rose. She wasn't usually this mouthy, but she was having a field day barking at everybody like crazy. I wondered if she was on her rag already because her poor boyfriend was gonna have a long night if she kept up with the attitude. Don't get me wrong, I loved Rose to pieces, but sometimes she grew a forked tongue and a set of horns and turned into a raging lunatic. I couldn't help but feel sorry for Emmett. He had to deal with her nonstop bitchiness every day, not that I didn't deal with her either, but I wasn't the one exchanging spit with her.

"Better go take her royal Highness home, Em. You don't want her to bitch even more about how her glass slippers are too tight." He flashed me his dimples, even though his smile seemed too forced, before starting his car.

"Bella! What the fuck." Rose screeched from the car.

"See ya, B!" Em yelled quickly and he peeled out, his tires screeching along the road. He better not speed in this rain.

I rubbed the back of my neck and waved at them as they drove away. I stood outside for a while, enjoying the cold breeze, and pondered on my two best friends. They deserved each other, more than anything. I just wish Rose would take it easy on Em. He was tough, but after a while he was going to get worn out by her constant flip-flopping of pulling him in and pushing him away.

I jumped at the sound of a thundering clap and groaned when rain began to fall. I sprinted to the porch, my dragon slippers soaked completely, and almost tripped on my porch steps. I tumbled into my warm house and took a deep breath, my back pressed against the door. My eyes landed on my slippers. Looks like I was going to have to wash them cause they were caked with mud. I threw them into a corner. Mom could take care of it.

I slowly walked up the steps to my room, my mind wandering to that little sticky note that had been taped to my windshield. It was hidden in my bag at the moment. The gears in my brain moved as curiousity flares within me. With lips pursed, I picked up my bag and began to rummage through it for the note. My fingers gripped onto the thin square paper and I couldn't help but to smile in victory.

The smile instantly fell once I read the tiny, neatly-written words.

_Isabella,_

_Who are you fucking fooling? You don't matter. If you'd die today, only your father and slut friend would attend your funeral. Your own mother wouldn't go; you're a disgrace. Forget about that little Jasper obsession of yours. He's not interested. If he was, wouldn't he have asked you out by now? Take a hint. You're an overweight heifer. Plain. Repulsive. Worthless. A stray bitch that's not worth time. Rosalie pities you. Why else would she talk to a basket case? Do everybody a favor and GO DIE!_

_xoxo Your not-so-secret hater_

My vision got cloudy as tears welled up in my eyes. The note slipped through my shaking fingers and landed on the carpet without a sound. I felt pieces of me shatter. Sobs wracked my body as tears spilled down my cheeks. How could somebody be so callous and hurtful? I didn't do anything to deserve this.

I fell to my knees and let the hurt wash over my body. The words cut me deep, as if they were blades or sharp pieces of glass that were being dragged across my skin. As if my veins were exposed and being cut agonizingly slowly. My mind kept repeating those words like a broken word.

_GO DIE!_

_GO DIE!_

_GO DIE!_

At the moment all I wanted to do was give this person what they asked of me. I wanted to ram a rusty pipe into my abdomen. To drive off a cliff. Get trampled by a pack of rhino's. Jump into a vat of acid. Anything to rid myself of the suffocating pain in my chest. I couldn't breathe, couldn't see through my salty tears.

_Rosalie pities you. Why else would she talk to a whore?_

Rosalie did care about me…right? I wasn't just some piteous girl to her. I was something to her. Or maybe I was just some hopeless cause to her. What if she did only associate with me out of sympathy? I gasped at the thought, a sudden wave of anguish washed over me and my heart started to pound out of my chest.

It just wasn't true. We were friends, sisters. This was all some evil prank to see what my reaction would be. If this was a prank, then this was the most malicious prank that has ever been pulled on me. But if it was a prank they wouldn't tell me to go die. At the thought of the cutting words, I felt my heart being squeezed too tightly. It shattered with every word that was written on that cruel message.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but god these mean words were tearing me to shreds.

With every breath I sucked in, my lungs would get tighter and tighter. I was getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen. My breaths were ragged and short. With my lungs burning I couldn't think, couldn't inhale properly. Those words were stuck on repeat and I couldn't think of anything other than the note.

_If you'd die today, only your father and slut friend would attend your funeral…GO DIE!_

Nobody cared. They were right. My mother tried to mold me into something I wasn't. The shame was in her eyes every time she looked at me and the realization of this made me cry even harder. Why didn't she care? Why wasn't I enough? What was I doing wrong to deserve all this hate? Everybody hated me and I haven't done one single thing wrong.

Salty liquid fell into my mouth and snot ran down my nose, but I didn't wipe my tears or stop bawling. I couldn't. It was too hard to try to numb the pain in my heart and head. It hurt so bad and I wept for all the mistakes I've done and for every snide comment I've received from my mother and from my peers. What the fuck was wrong with me?

Black spots erupted into my vision and I tried to force myself to calm down. It was no use. My lungs were most likely collapsing from oxygen deprivation and I didn't care. All I wanted to do was die. I wanted to do what that note told me to do. I wanted death to take me away. Nobody cared. Why should I?

My head was pounding, my heart beat hammered in my ears. I let out an anguish-filled scream, releasing the sorrow I was feeling. The darkness slowly swept over me, but not before I heard my name being shouted.

Hello darkness.

**So how was it? I hope it was worth the little wait. So this chapter was sort of hard to write. Bullying isn't cool. End of story. So don't do it, but if you're being bullied, talk about it with somebody, anybody. Trust me, being bullied and keeping it all in will get you nowhere. Talking about it helps, it really does. I hope you all liked it! A review is my Red Bull. And Red Bull gives me wings.**

**geek**


	4. Walking Out

_** Revision 1.0**_

**Want to thank all those that read, added this story to any of their lists, or reviewed. You guys rock!**

**I don't own Twilight- but I do own an awesome espresso machine. Mmm, espressos.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Four - Walking Out<strong>

I woke up to an annoying beeping sound and the hum drum of machinery. Bright white lights filled my vision as soon I cracked my eyes open. Shooting pain clouded my mind in a hazy wave if numbness and I clenched my eyes shut.

My head felt like it was split wide open and my brain was being pushed against my skull rhythmically to the beat of my heart. I groaned at the disgusting, bitter taste in my mouth, silently praying for some toothpaste or a breath mint.

I slowly cracked open an eye and opened the other once I adjusted to the light. I silently took in my surroundings. The white walls, the hard ass bed, the needle in my arm. I was in a fucking hospital.

Fuck, I must have fallen down or done something equally clumsy to end up here. I struggled to sit up without snagging my IV drip, but I finally pulled myself up against the plastic headboard and looked around my room some more. There weren't any visitors surrounding my bedside or sleeping in a corner, not that I was expecting any. No. My mother was possibly shopping for some more Jimmy Foo's or whatever. And my father was, well, I had no idea why he wasn't in the hospital with me. Maybe he was working, but that didn't explain why Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere in sight. What the fuck? Why weren't they fucking here?

_They don't care about you_, a ghostly voice murmured in my head.

My breath hitched as that note came to the forefront of my mind. Crippled with the sudden pain in my heart, I cried out in agony. I felt that feeling of suffocation. I couldn't breathe. My heart was beating ridiculously fast in my chest and the loud beeping of the machinery was ringing in my ears.

Panic.

My eyes darted all over the room. I felt a sharp sting at my side and I tried to open my mouth and take a breath, but I couldn't. _Breathe, you fucking idiot._

I finally sucked in a shaky breath as tears sprang in my eyes. That fucking note. That godforsaken note was going to be the death of me- literally.

I took in a few calming breaths before wiping my eyes. The door swiftly opened, the slightest squeak echoed into the room due to the old hospital doors. Forks Hospital was the oldest establishment in this dank town, aside from the high school, of course.

A blonde man walked into the room, a small smile on his lips. Doctor Cullen was and has always been my on call doctor. Anytime I got into some accident caused by my own two feet, the Doc would be there to assess the damage and stitch me up when necessary, which was almost always needed. I felt bad for him, having to constantly fix me up.

"Bella you gave us quite a scare." Doctor Cullen face was grave, and I looked down at my hands in my lap to avoid looking at him. I didn't want to see the pity reflecting back at me.

He sighed while sitting at the end of my unpleasant bed. I could practically feel the warm, calming vibes rolling off his person. I continued to stare at my hands, refusing to look at his face.

"What happened?" I asked silently. I honestly didn't remember what landed me in the hospital in the first place. I was scared and confused, but I wanted an answer.

"Well, Isabella you had a panic attack. You fainted due to lack of oxygen and hit your head pretty hard on the way down," Doctor Cullen replied, his calm doctor-y voice back on.

I glared at my hands relentlessly. A panic attack? I've never had one of those. I guess you always try something once.

While biting my lip, I questioned Doctor Cullen if I was allowed to go home. He sighed before saying yes. He then advised me to not stress out as much and enjoy my youth. I grimaced. He didn't know what the fuck I was going through or what being young even meant these days. I didn't think his pretty ass received hate mail. I chocked back a sob as I nodded at his advise.

Soon enough I'd be home, resting on my bed and ignoring the whole world. I was finally going to be able to curl in a ball and let the never-ending pain encircle me. If I wasn't feeling so sorry for myself I would've laughed at my emotional thoughts.

My dad popped into my room out of the blue and insisted Doctor Cullen to give me drugs. Well, not in those words, but that was basically what he was suggesting. I had to put my foot down and convince him that I wasn't crazy. Panic attacks didn't equal crazy.

"Dad," I mumbled, "I'm okay."

He squinted at me, barely noticing that I was in the room the whole time. There was an awkward silence and I had the sudden urge to do get up and dance to show tunes. Of course, I didn't do it, but it probably would have been better embarrassing myself than having to deal with this suffocating stillness.

Doctor Cullen spoke up and reassured my dad that no, I did not need any type of pills. It was just one panic attack and while the Doc was slightly apprehensive to let me go, he only recommended therapy sessions. Dad seemed to like the idea. I didn't. I sighed when he said he'd talk to my mom about it and didn't talk until we got home, the radio speaking volumes between us.

I slammed the car door shut and walked to the house. As I climbed onto the porch steps, I looked up from the wet floor and froze when I saw a tiny figure plopped down on my porch swing. There sitting on _my _porch swing was none other than Mary Alice Brandon with flowers in her hands. Fucking flowers.

My jaw dropped and I distinctly heard myself saying, "what the fuck". My dad scowled at me for swearing so loudly and pushed me forward.

"Don't be so rude. She's been trying to see you all day," he told me gruffly. I could sense his confusion, too. Compared to my mom, he was always slow to get a full gauge on certain situations and failed to guess my reaction. I called him emotionally crippled. He said I was too weird.

But this was weird.

Okay, who gave that bitch acid? I could obviously see that she wanted to talk. I mean, she was sitting right there and she had fucking blue tulips. Sure, they were my favorite, but what the fuck? Did I wake up in an alternative universe or some shit like that? This wasn't real. I was definitely dreaming.

I pinched myself, instantly cringing at the slight pain. Nope, definitely awake.

I rubbed my arm as I finished walking up the porch steps, the ball of dread snowballing in my stomach. I was going to be forced to talk to Alice. What did she want?

She sprang up from her seat on the porch swing and handed me the flowers right away. I silently thanked her as I warily grabbed them, trying to read her expression. She probably dusted the roses with anthrax. First she's sweet, then...

"Ugh, not to sound like a bitch, but what the hell are you doing here?" I blurted out.

Her tinkling laugh rang out and I bit my tongue to stop myself from telling her how irritating her voice really was. The flowers earned her some extra points.

She wiped the invisible tears from her eyes, careful to not smudge her perfectly applied make-up. "Bella. No offense, but you sorta did sound like a bitch."

And there's that tongue-biting again. I was severely tempted to throw the anthrax-coated roses at her and tell her to go back to shopping in the toddler's section at Gap. I hated her. She was trying to be all nice, giving me poisonous flowers and then calling me a bitch. But since it was said with a "no offense" I shouldn't get butthurt.

"Yeah, well, that's what being stuck in hospitals after having a panic attack does to you," I said cheekily.

The rain started to pick up and I asked her through clenched teeth if she wanted to come into the house. She obliged, thanking me as I held open both the storm and front door for her. She took off her canary yellow coat and placed it on the coat rack. What a bright ass color for such a dull town.

We sat down, me on the couch and her on the recliner. I suddenly remembered the roses in my hands and tentatively brought them close to my face. Time to smell the roses. Literally.

Alice laughed yet again and this time I couldn't stop the scowl. She kept cackling like the witch she was and I continued to glower like the downer I was.

"I didn't dump anthrax all over it, Isabella."

I hated how she said my name so condescendingly. I hated how she was in my house. I hated how she gave me pretty flowers. I hated how she knew my suspicion of said flowers. I just down right hated this girl sitting a few feet from me.

Fuck, where was my mom when I really needed her. She was always around to annoy me, but never there to help. Such a great mom.

The roses were getting heavier in my hands with each second so I decided to do something with myself and put them in a vase. Staring at Alice wasn't exactly appealing, but she wouldn't talk and I sure as hell wasn't going to speak first.

"Look, Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were going to spaz out just cause I said a couple things yesterday. I give you shit all the time. I mean, who knew you were going to-"

"Wait. You think I had a panic attack because of _you_?" I questioned, thoroughly interrupting her.

Alice slowly nodded as if it was obvious that she was the cause for every bad thing that happened in my life. Then again, she probably was. She most likely wrote that hate note, the two-faced bitch. That thought made me more suspicious of her real motives.

"Did you write the note?" I asked quickly, my words fumbling together and not making much sense.

Her shaped eyebrows furrowed and she shook her head from side to side, a clueless expression plastered onto her face. Bitch was an actress, too.

"What note?" she curiously said.

I narrowed my eyes at her, alarms going off in my brain. Red alert, red alert. There's a fucking lying piece of crap in the middle of my living room. I repeat, a lying piece of crap in my living room. Help me. Where was Rose? And where the hell was my mom? I was sending out SOS telepathically and I was getting no response.

"Just a note." I replied cryptically.

"Okay…" she said, trailing off.

"Bella-"

"Why-"

We both talked at the same time and I motioned for her to go first. She did, the attention whore.

"Bella, I never meant to be mean to you. I was just…" I heard her clearly, but lost her towards the end. Either she mumbled or I have selective hearing. I was betting she mumbled.

"Huh?" Fuck, I sounded stupid.

She huffed in frustration before saying the last word slightly louder. I still couldn't hear her.

"What?" I inquired, getting annoyed already.

"Jealous!" she cried while throwing her head in her hands.

I stared at her in bewilderment. She was jealous of what? My car? Cause if she was, I could totally understand. My baby was awesome, even if it was a borderline gas guzzler. Scratching my head stupidly, I looked around the room. If I thought this was weird before then damn, this is that once in a millennium type of deal.

Alice suddenly jumped up and grabbed her coat, but not before telling me, "Just watch out with who you hang out with." She pretty much sprinted out of my house afterwards.

What the fuck did that mean? I shrugged cause the whole situation was causing mayhem in my brain. I decided to call Rosalie because I was bored and depressed and just straight out confused.

I brought the phone to my ear and was shocked to hear the robotic voice telling me to leave a message. I stammered and tripped over words before asking Rose to call me. I texted her, more than once, but got no reply. My sadness was quickly transforming into a deep rage.

All those times she needed my help, I was there without any hesitation, but now that I needed it so badly, she wasn't here. And neither was Emmett. What happened to, "I always got your back Bells"? Just a broken promise, I guess. What great friends. I tried to ignore that ache in my chest, but Alice's words rushed back to me, along with the note.

_Watch out who you hang out with_…

_Rosalie pities you_…

I shook my head from the thoughts and walked to my room. I fell on the bed and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Six days passed and Rose was still nowhere to be seen. I tried calling Emmett, but his phone was off. I was crying more and more these days and I got into the bad habit of reading the note daily. I was willingly setting myself up for a continuous pain. Call me masochistic.

I had all but lost my appetite at this point. Ever since my weight gain became local broadcast news, I have began to try avoiding food. Mom and dad were worried about me, but thankfully didn't say anything. They didn't exactly understand just why I asked them to not allow anybody to visit. I didn't tell them I was pissed at my supposed "best friend". My best friend that was nowhere in sight.

My mom told me that Rose did visit me at the hospital, but for like ten minutes before splitting. Yeah, I didn't take that too lightly. As for Emmett, I couldn't say I was pissed at him. It wasn't his fault that his girlfriend wasn't talking to me.

My dad called the school and I was said to return whenever I felt up to it. That was three days ago. I still didn't feel ready. People already heard about my little episode and were calling me all types of names. None of them knew about the fucked up note. It still stirred ugly feelings within my gut.

I was being a hermit and I was getting fed up with the never-ending pounding on the front door. Most of the times it was Emmett, but Mom said it was Rosalie trying to drag me out with the living. Whatever. Fuck her. She only cared once my "sick leave" officially hit the sixth day mark. Try and try as I might, Alice's words couldn't stop replaying in my mind. Stupid midget purposefully saying bullshit that would haunt me.

Something else that was haunting me-and quickly becoming annoying-was the constant sound of the landline being rung up every minute of every hour. It was Rosalie, of course, asking for me, but instead of answering her calls, I took a picture of the note and sent it to her. The only word I sent was 'happy'.

I had finally took a shower to wash off the filth that has been accumulating for six days. It was disgusting how I managed to stay away from the shower for that long of a time. Once I was finished washing up, I changed into one of my dad's flannels and a pair of ratty sweats. I walked back to my room and fell onto my bed, not even bothering with drying my wet, tangled hair.

Curling under the blankets, I fell asleep to the pitter-patter outside.

Apparently sleep didn't exist in my house because I was soon awoken by a bang. I was about to curse my mother for being too loud, when I caught side of long blonde hair.

Rosalie.

She was standing at my door, obvious disappointment gleaming in her eyes. I couldn't stomach looking at her. "B, how are you?" I didn't answer her. I couldn't. I wanted to scream and yell about how I felt like a used doll thrown aside. I wanted to tell her about the note. But I couldn't and I didn't plan on it. I stared at the wall behind her, fascinated by all the pictures I took over the years. They were posted pretty on my wall. Pictures of when I wasn't such a disgrace. When I wasn't given vicious notes over the weekend.

"Fuck, Bella! They told me I shouldn't have come over, but this shit has got to stop. You've been in bed for a week already! Come on and get up. We have to do something..." She kept on speaking, but I blocked her out.

I didn't want to hear what Rose had to say. I wanted her to leave. She didn't really want to talk to me anyway. She was only talking to me cause she felt sorry for me. I was a walking, talking pity party.

My shoulders were suddenly being shaken and I instantly hissed and slapped the hands away from me. I glared up at Rose before taking a deep breath to stop myself from telling her to fuck off. She was pushing my buttons and I seriously felt like throwing my fist at her face. I didn't want her here. I didn't want anybody here.

"Get out, Rose," I whispered harshly.

Her eyes widened and if I wasn't so fucking miserable I would've laughed. She scrambled off my bed, picked up her bag and stood at the door. She bit her lip silently. I looked away from her, not wanting to see that hurt look in her eyes. I was hurt too, but nobody bothered to ask what was wrong with me.

"I'm here, B, whenever you need me."

"Fucking A, Rosalie! You don't know what it's like to have people behind your back wishing that you were dead! You don't know what it's like to never be able to meet your own mother's expectations! You don't know what I'm feeling right now!" I seethed.

Rosalie's expression stopped me from ranting any further. My words must have been like a slap to the face, because she appeared to be shocked and hurt. Guilt washed over me and I tried to stutter an apology, but nothing came out. She shook her head, slightly turning the door knob.

"Y'know, Bella. I have always been there for you. I can't believe you're going to turn your back on me because of a note that some asshole wrote. Hope you feel better." Her voice was shaky and I caught a glimpse of a tear running down her cheek.

And just like that my best friend was out of my life.

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><p><strong>There ya go. A new chapter. I hoped you liked it. I mean, Alice apologizing? That's fucking weird. And what's up with Rose? Okay, tell me what you think. Love it, loathe it; I wanna know. Until next time.<strong>

**~geek**


	5. Old Friends Bring New Ones

_**Revision 1.0**_

**Hehe, surprise, surprise. I felt like updating sooner. Enjoy the earlier than planned chapter. I'd like to take the time to thank all those that stick by this story. Even if you just read this story, it means so much to me. I love you all!**

**God, I wish I own Twilight. Mainly because I'd make Jasper and Bella have hot monkey sex.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Five - Old Friends Bring New Ones<strong>

There was no use in trying to amend my friendship with Rosalie. Things were far too broken to fix, and if I was being completely honest, I was still pissed with her lack of concern. If she thought visiting me while I was unconscious counted as an actual visit, then her IQ was clearly plummeting. And coming over to my house a week after my nosedive into cuckoo-land didn't show me that she was worried about me. If anything it showed me the opposite.

Rosalie really didn't care. Fuck, even Alice cared more for my well-being, which was a strange concept. I was still weirded out by the whole Alice thing. We were enemies ever since I remember, yet she stepped in my house, claimed she was jealous of me, and gave me rare flowers. It was all strange to me. Maybe she was just keeping her enemies super close. That would be the most legit reason.

Either way, I was refusing to make things better with Rose. She didn't call, so I didn't either. Call it childish, or fucked up, but I wanted her to see how I felt. I helped her through everything and, no, that was not an over-exaggeration. I was there when her favorite aunt passed. I was there when her parents decided not to go through with the divorce. I was there through the good and bad times, but she couldn't comfort me after a panic attack?

I sighed before climbing out of bed. I had to go to school today, which I was silently dreading. I needed more time, a shit load more time. What was I going to say to everybody?

_I know ya'll think I should be institutionalized, but I'm actually super normal three days out of the week. Now, who wrote this note?_

They would no doubt want to play twenty questions with me and I wasn't in the mood.

After quickly changing into a pair of hip-hugging jeans and a vintage Pink Floyd shirt, I silently slipped on my Chuck's. I grabbed my bag, jacket, and car keys. Both my father and mother were already at their jobs, but left me a note on the kitchen counter. I didn't bother reading it.

I locked the front door and slowly made my way to my car. Once I started it, I cranked up the heater and backed out of the driveway. The radio wasn't cutting it for me, so I had to take my iPod out and listen to some Joy Division. Normally the chords of "Dead Soul" would have been enough to cheer me up. Not this time. I did not want to go to school. I didn't want to see the sympathy on all their faces and the constant rumble of their whispers. All I wanted was to go back to bed so I could forget about the world. Hell, even thoughts of Jasper weren't making me giddy. I was that depressed.

In fifteen minutes I was already driving into the school parking lot. My van's engine attracted more attention than I wanted; heads turned and fingers were being pointed. I heaved a sigh once I parked and took a couple seconds to breathe. While rubbing my eyes tiredly with my left hand, I yanked my keys out the ignition with my free hand. I really needed to sleep more, which was ironic since I've been asleep for the past week.

I stepped out my car, locked up and walked to my first class. I sat down at my usual seat, paying no attention to all the stares I was receiving.

"I heard she had a seizure," Lauren Mallory, one of Jessica Stanley's butt buddies, not-so quietly whispered.

"I heard she went to the abortion clinic," Tanya Denali, number three slut of the cheer squad, replied.

"No!" Lauren exclaimed, dramatically covering her mouth with her hand. She looked over at me and I smiled sarcastically at her, waving for extra measures. Her freshly manicured middle finger was suddenly directed towards me.

I rolled my eyes and sunk into my seat. I was dozing off when a balled up piece of paper collided with my head. My eyes scanned the room, easily scoping out the most suspicious-looking teenager. Michael Newton. How many times did I have to reject him in order for him to understand?

I glared at the back of his head, praying his skull would explode already. Just the thought of saving those countless future girls from being unenthusiastically hitted on was awesome. Yeah, I'd save a bunch of lives.

My fingers rapidly unfolded the note, careful to not rip the paper. The sloppy writing of Mikey-boy looked up at me from the wrinkled paper and I frowned.

_Who's the dad?_

A scowl appeared on my face and I glared at Mike, who I just caught staring at me expectantly. No, that was a lie, his eyes were zeroed in on my tits and he only looked away cause I caught him. Fucking pervert.

Who's the father? I couldn't help but scoff at the stupidity. Just because I packed on a couple pounds did not mean I was pregnant. Such insensitive assholes.

I picked up my pencil and hurriedly scrawled "_Fuck you!_" all over the paper. I aggressively threw it back at Newton's head when the teache turned his back to us. He rubbed the back of his head, which caused me to shake my head at his lack of machoness. God, what a wimp.

The look on Newton's face was priceless. His eyes got this far-away look and his jaw dropped wide open. I snickered and the bell rang a couple minutes after. Rosalie roughly brushed past me, reminding me of the fact that she was in the classroom the whole time. I longed to tell her something, anything.

I didn't speak. I wasn't cracking first.

The rest of my classes passed in the same fashion. I heard whispers with my name being mentioned. Every note that was passed to me reminded me of the note currently residing at home in my desk drawer. I didn't open anymore notes after that. I was fed up with little scraps of paper carrying hurtful things.

Lunch came quicker than I planned and I decided to sit down at an empty table towards the far corner of the cafeteria. I hated the middle of the room; the center of attention. I gagged at the idea of being noticed more than I already was.

My face was tilted up toward the ceiling, ear buds pumping songs about barracudas and brown sugar. I didn't notice the other person sitting at my table until a hand was being waved in front of my face. I blinked before yanking out an ear bud and looking up at the intruder.

He was there. Jasper Whitlock was smiling at me, amusement dancing in his pretty green eyes. A transparent CD case was in his hand and he kept tapping it against his leg. I scrunched up my eyebrows as I pressed pause on my iPod and pulled out my other ear bud.

Jasper sunk down into a seat, flashing me a gorgeous smile as I put my iPod in my jacket pocket. This was so unexpected. What should I do? What should I say? Jasper Whitlock was right in front of me and I had no clue what to say. I was about to look around for some emotional support from Rosalie, but remembered that she wasn't my friend anymore. Sigh.

"How are you, darlin'?" Jasper asked me with that Southern accent of his.

"Oh, just peachy," I replied a little bitchily. Sheesh, Bella any harsher.

He nodded, looking away from me momentarily. Something over my shoulder caught his attention, causing him to shake his head. A big grin was plastered on his face and I bit my lip. Was it a girl that made his smile get brighter?

A sudden wave of fury washed over me and I had to suck in some oxygen to calm down. What the fuck was that? I couldn't be _jealous_. He wasn't even my boyfriend.

I shook my head in attempt to rid myself of the thoughts causing havoc in my cranium. Focus on the Texan Adonis sitting in front of you. He might say something important. Like "Hey Bella, darlin' wanna be my girl?" or even "Go to homecoming with me". Or-

"I made you a playlist." Jasper's voice broke through my little haze abruptly.

Staring probably wasn't the wisest choice because he held up the CD case in front of my face, as if I was too slow to understand what a CD was. I blinked slowly and realized how dumb I looked. Clearing my throat while nodding, I mumbled that, sure, I'd take his gift.

"It has Lou Reed and some Rolling Stones in there." He reached up to scratch the back of his neck, something I realized was a nervous tick of his.

I blushed as he handed it over to me, his fingers lightly brushing over mine. I looked away from him and focused on the suddenly silent cafeteria. I turned around in my chair, realizing that almost everybody was staring at us. My cheeks flushed in embarrassment yet again and I turned to face Jasper again.

Wait, he said Lou Reed _and_ Rolling Stones? Oh my god, I think I fell in love with him even more.

"Thanks, Jasper. I love Lou Reed," I told him bashfully. My fingers gripped the case and I looked down at it.

Surprisingly neat handwriting labeled the CD as 'Jasper & Bella's Infinite Playlist'. I laughed at the ridiculous title and glanced up at Jasper. Who knew he watched chick flicks?

"Seriously? Couldn't come up with anything more creative?" I teased. His deep chuckle almost made me shiver. Almost.

He was about to reply, but was cut off when none other than Alice Bitchin' Brandon and Edward Snotty Masen pranced over to where we were sitting and plopped their unwanted asses down. I angrily stared at them, secretly cursing both of them to the deepest pit of hell so Satan could shove a pole up their overconfident asses. That was what happened when you went to hell, you got poles shoved up your ass. Or at least that's what my dad used to tell me.

"Hey Bella! How are you? I hope you're doing better than the last time I saw you. You still look like shit, but your natural beauty overpowers the bags under your eyes," her overly preppy voice rang in my ears like an annoying alarm.

I gaped at her, absolutely dumbfounded and speechless. She did not say I had bags under my eyes. My mouth hung open as I unintentionally touched the skin under my eyes. I didn't _feel_ any puffy skin. This girl was lying to me! I did not have bags under my eyes.

I turned to look at Jasper, who was looking in some other direction again. So this made me follow his line of vision and I saw that Rosalie and Emmett were staring at my direction, a hurt expression on their pretty faces. Fuck.

Hastily turning away, I placed the CD in my bag. "Um, Alice, can you please tell me why you're here?" My words may have seemed polite, but my tone showed how irritated I was.

Alice rolled her blue eyes and proceeded to tell me that she didn't want to be enemies. Horseshit. I cut her off in the middle of her explanation and told her not to get her hopes up. I stood up as the bell rang and turned on the heel of my Converse.

There were footfalls next to me and I rolled my eyes. Alice was one annoying chick.

My eyes traveled up and connected with Jasper's cool green gaze. There went my oxygen…and panties.

"So you and Rose?" Jasper stated, trailing off at the end.

"It's none of your business," I curtly uttered, not caring if I sounded rude.

He raised his hands up in defense while nodding in understanding. Great, now he wanted to play twenty questions. There were whispers pressing in from all sides, but I ignored the gossipers again. Nosy bastards trying to get in my Kool-Aid when they didn't even know the flavor.

"How are you, Bella, really?" Jasper's eyes were full of concern and I realized that he actually had flecks of blue in his eyes. Hmm, I never noticed that.

I shrugged, looking at a fading red locker to the right of me. What do I tell him?

_Oh yeah, Jasper, I'm doing just fine. Aside from getting hate messages telling me to quit pursuing you and to go die, I am just dandy._

A piece of hair fell in my eyes and I blew out a breath, making the strand of hair move off my face. What to say, what to say?

My mouth started forming the words without my permission. "I guess I am okay. I mean, yeah, I've been better, but I've just hit a small bump in the road."

Jasper eyed me for a while, not really accepting my beyond lame answer. Then, at the flip of a switch, he broke out with a big smile. The sudden grin on his handsome face made me a little wary, but I didn't have time to think cause I was being pushed against the lockers.

I gasped as his lips descended upon my own. My lips molded to his and my eyes fluttered close at the sweet feelings coursing through me. Our mouths moved perfectly together, tangent in one. Jasper was kissing me and it wasn't a dream.

Before I could fully throw myself into the kiss, however, he pulled away from me. I gazed at him through fluttering eyelashes, my blush creeping up my neck and staining my cheeks. He gave me a peck along with a cheeky smile, then walked away as if nothing happened.

What the fuck?

My chest heaved and I ogled his retreating back. What the fuck was that? I groaned frustratingly and continued to walk to my choir class, my head spinning in a whirlwind. No words could describe how confused that boy made me feel. I had no idea what he wanted from me and if I was being completely honest with myself, I actually didn't care as long as I had him. Maybe he just wanted to mess around behind closed doors. I never thought I could be _ that_ girl that snuck behind people's backs, but this was Jasper. And I didn't know what he wanted, but I hoped it was me.

Mrs. Lane took pity on my wretched soul and let me sit out for today. Tomorrow I was going to have to be ready to sing something modern because according to Mrs. Lane, my music taste was too strange and electic. Why we weren't given an option to choose our own song was beyond me. Any other day I would have argued with Mrs. Lane, but my thoughts were jumbled thanks to Jasper's kiss.

Drumline practice was equally dull considering the fact that Jasper was nowhere in sight. Like I said, he was so good that our band advisor _told_ him to skip practices. Not like it mattered considering Jasper was in two sports and didn't have time to perform with the band. His sole job was to win state tourneys for soccer and football.

But seriously what the fuck was that kiss about? I wanted to scream at Jasper for being so damn confusing. I really needed some mother fucking answers.

At that moment, I began to regret my fallout with Rosalie because I really wanted somebody to listen to me. I needed her for these kinds of things, for advice and to be there when everybody else wasn't. I just needed her plain and simple. We were sisters and promised to be friends till the end of time. And now what were we? Nothing.

Same thing goes for Emmett. In the few times that he's called, the conversation would always revolve around Rosalie and he was pushing me to talk to Rose, but I just couldn't. And I didn't plan to.

"Hi, Bellarina!" a tinkling voice screeched, effectively popping my eardrums.

I groaned, feigning injury as my fingers clasped my ears. I was over exaggerating, sure, but in all honesty Alice's voice was very irritating and I was sure that if I listened to it long enough I would explode from sheer pain.

Turning around to face her while adjusting the strap of my messenger bag, I arched an eyebrow at her. "Yes, Alice?"

She bobbed her head a little to the left and placed her tiny hands on her equally tiny hips. The designer shoes on her feet began to tap a steady rhythm as she shot me a smirk. "Oh, I just wanted to tell you that I'm coming over to your house today." I hated how she sounded so sure of herself, as if she thought I was going to willingly agree with her demands.

Maybe if Rosalie and I were still friends, I would've told Alice to jump off the highest building and into a pool of acid. I didn't like Alice and for the majority of my life she showed me just how deep her hatred for me ran. But old friends brought new ones.

I obviously didn't mention our hatred for one another to Alice; it would probably be viewed as a minor detail. Instead I toyed with the idea of becoming the she-beast's friend. She was popular, something I was not. Her friendship would be a life raft in the vast, empty ocean that suddenly became my social life. I had nobody, but she was a somebody. A somebody that could help me get Jasper and finally be his girlfriend. I smiled at the idea.

"Let's go to my house," I said, ignoring the small warning in the back of my mind.

Call me stupid, cause I just sold my soul.

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><p><strong>Up Next: Alice &amp; Bella at Bella's house.<strong>

**~geek**


	6. Becoming a Popular

_**Revision 1.0**_

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><p><strong>Thanks for all the reviews, alerts, and just support in general. You guys rock. AN at the end if you're interested in reading.<strong>

**Don't own Twilight. I do not wish to be sued. Thanks, but no thanks.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Six - Becoming a Popular<strong>

I drove while cringing at the shitty pop song Alice declared would be the song of the year. My decision to invite her over to ny house was starting to look incredibly stupid. I had no idea why I thought she could offer me relationship advise when all she seemed to care about was herself. Oh yeah, cause I was missing my best friend and I needed a replacement.

Alice was talking a mile a minute, sprouting some bullshit about who she thought Forks' next power couple would be. I ignored her, humming a tune in my head. That is, until she mentioned Jasper's name. My foot slammed down on the brake, and Alice stuck her hand onto the dashboard to stop herself from flinging forward.

"I didn't know you were so fond of break checks," Alice said coldly.

I rolled my eyes before continuing to drive. Just a couple more blocks before I got to breathe in fresh, perfume-free air. Alice was one of those girls that just swam in perfume. It was extremely nauseating.

"Jasper Whitlock, huh?" she randomly commented.

"Why exactly are you being nice to me?" I replied, throwing a question back at her because ain't no way in hell that we were going to bond over my infatuation with Jasper Whitlock.

Might as well cut the crap, right? There had to be a reason why she wanted to be my friend. There was no way Alice wanted to be all buddy-buddy for no reason. She sighed, but turned down the radio. I should've asked her that question a long time ago. Probably would've saved me from listening to crappy music.

"I realized how mean I was to you and I just- I just want to make things better. We can't keep hating each other."

_You can't, but I can._

I said nothing in response and pulled into my driveway, parking the car without acknowledging Alice's comment. My bag was quickly on my shoulder and after yanking my keys out the transmission, I twirled my key ring around my finger. I looked over to the passenger side, but Alice was already under the safety my porch. I didn't even hear her open the truck door, which is pretty impossible due to the amount of rust and creaky bolts.

Slowly walking over to my porch, I started to compare Alice with Rosalie, unwillingly I may add. Alice didn't complain about my speed, or lack of speed. Alice didn't nag about her freezing ass. Alice wasn't teasing me about being the least energetic person on earth.

It was those little things Alice didn't do that I missed. I missed Rosalie and I was trying to put Alice in the void that Rosalie vacated.

"Are you okay?" Alice chirped, breaking through my depressive thoughts.

I responded with a silent 'yeah, whatever' then unlocked the front door. She arched an eyebrow, but said nothing. She pranced into my house, elegantly fluttering all around my living room. Stupid ballerina.

"Want something to drink?" I mumbled, silently hoping she didn't hear me.

She did catch my question and told me she'd have a Shirley Temple. A Shirley fucking Temple. What the fuck did I look like? A ten-year old child living in the nineteen-freaking-thirties? Ugh, no fucking way.

I turned to the midget sitting on my sofa, trying my best to not snort at her juvenile choice of beverage. I failed. My shoulders shook with laughter and my guffaws filled the room. I clutched at my stomach, doubling over as the hysterics came over me. I wasn't sure how much time I spent laughing, but it was a very, very long time.

"What the fuck?" I managed to say in between laughs. I thought about telling Rosalie about Alice's drink request, thinking it would be a good story to share. That thought quickly killed my laughter and I walked into the kitchen, Alice closely following me.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make fun of my kid-ish drink. Shirley Temple's are delish, yes?" Alice told me.

"No," I spat, my back to her and my hands tightly holding onto the counter. I wanted to break something. I guess the depression was gone and now the anger. I was way too moody.

Alice's soft sigh filled my ears and it took every ounce of control to not lash out at her. This bitch. Thinking she can bitch and moan in my house. I don't think so.

"Nice fridge." Her random comment brought me back to reality and I shook my head clear.

Silently muttering my thanks, I walked over to said fridge and pulled out two Lipton _whatever_. She liked this shit, right? It was low in calories so it wouldn't cancel out the one cracker she nibbles on every day. Well, besides Temple's, I didn't know her beverage preferences, so she was going to have to settle for tea. Boo hoo for her.

I handed her the drink, watching as a wry smile formed on her lips. She twisted off the cap and drank the tea without complaint. Yeah, you better drink that.

"So, after all these years of teaming up with Ed-fag-o you finally wanna throw up the white flag. Why now?" My fingers played with the bottle as I waited for her response.

All of my questions were going to be answered today, whether she liked it or not. She wasn't going to tiptoe around my words and try to downplay any question. No, I wanted my goddamn answers.

There was another sigh that came out of Alice's mouth and this time I sighed along with her. I wasn't enjoying this either. I moved to lean on the counter of the island, snickering as Alice had to jump up to sit on the island stool. Her below average height made me laugh.

"I know Edward," she looked pointedly at me when she said that dick's name, "and me haven't exactly been your biggest support team. I'm sorry for that. I really am, but the only reason why I was so mean was because you were always so fucking sarcastic and arrogant."

My mouth went slack at her words. At first it sounded like she was apologizing, but toward the end there she actually placed the blame on me. What the fuck? That was the biggest conundrum I have ever heard. She's sorry, but if I was nicer, she would have been less of a shit-face? I was pissed that she wasn't owning up to her shit.

What I wanted to hear was, "Oh, Bella. I'm sorry for being a miserable bitch. I came out of my mom's vaj like that. I promise I won't be such a cunt." Hell, I would've taken a "you're right, I'm wrong". Instead I got her self-righteous act.

I glared at Alice and slammed my bottle onto the counter. Her composure was calm and collected. She wasn't affected by my sudden rage and it was just fueling my anger.

"Excuse me!" I sneered, trying my hardest to not raise my voice and slap her. "It's not my fault that you think you're God's gift to the world. And it is definitely not my fault that your apologies suck ass."

She suddenly snapped and screeched back at me, "Well, I'm sorry you can't stop being so damn critical. I'm sorry that you can't fucking accept apologies."

I scoffed, crossing my arms and looking away from her. "Oh yeah, you sound so sorry."

Alice huffed. "See! There you go again, being all sarcastic and thinking you're so damn smart. I'm trying here. Maybe if you'd be a little open this would be easier."

"I'm not the one leaving cryptic little comments and notes that basically say 'Haha you're a joke. Go fucking die'!" I yelled, the windows shaking at my little fit of rage.

My chest heaved and I sneered at Alice. Her confused expression momentarily made me forget about what I was saying, but once she donned a pissed off look, my fury returned. Yeah, I knew she wrote the letter.

"What fucking note? I never wrote you a note!" I eyed her skeptically, my gut instinct battling it out with my brain. She was Suspect Numero Uno; all that hate and fucked up jokes pointed in her direction. I mean, who else would write that note? But that look in her eyes. She looked confused and fuck I couldn't come up with anything.

She didn't write it.

If she didn't write it, then who did?

Silence surrounded us for a couple minutes. With my lips pursed, I asked her if she really didn't know about the note. When she heatedly denied having any knowledge to my note I finally calmed down.

"You said…you're jealous of me. Why?" I whispered, the curiosity getting the best of me.

This made her take a double take. She shook her head, most likely a war going on in her head. Alice looked up at me, hesitation prominent in her eyes. I wanted my answers. I didn't care if she didn't want to tell me. She was going to tell me everything whether she liked it or not.

"I-I wish I could be like you. You have an easy life. You don't have controlling parents. I don't even get to choose what I eat. I'm not - I can't do things for myself. My parents never tell me they love me. I can't even remember the last time they smiled at me. I mean, everything I do makes me a disgrace in their eyes. They expect so much from me and I-I don't know how to please them anymore."

She took a shuddering breath and went on with her explanation.

"You're everything I want to be. You still have a voice. You have everything I want. Family members that don't kick you when you're down, friends that actually care. I want that." Longing and envy were clear in her voice and I felt like shit.

This girl gave me hell because she never had anything a kid needs in life. Love. Little did she know, I was like her in a way. One of my parents constantly tried to mold me into the image of a perfect daughter. I wasn't good enough either. I had to make her see there was no point in envying me. I was as unwanted as her.

I bit my lip and looked away from her, staring at a spot on the wall. She said I had friends that cared. Yeah, right. My best friend ignored me for days on end and when she finally did show up, I snapped and yelled at her. We're not talking anymore and her boyfriend, my best dude friend, is avoiding me, too. I was a loner again, back to those dark middle school years.

Did she want to be a loner like me?

"You're wrong, you know." My eyes were still focused on the white wall, but I knew she was looking at me.

"What?" she asked incuriously.

I glanced back at her, offering a small smile. I couldn't hate her. Not when she felt so worthless. I wasn't one to kick those already groveling.

"I don't have everything. My friends aren't exactly there for me anymore. My mom is constantly trying to dress me up in frilly clothes and ignores me whenever I fail to be her ideal daughter. People poke fun at me just because I gained like five pounds. Gosh, I'm the running joke at school."

Alice suddenly beamed at me, grasping my hands in hers. I was shocked at her sudden movement and didn't try to take my hands away from her much smaller ones. Her fingers were so tiny; they looked like little kid hands. She began to tell me how her life really was, the real Alice underneath the horrible mask she always switched on for show. If I thought having one disapproving parent was horrible, having two would have destroyed me; it did to Alice.

Her whole life she was looked down upon by the two people she needed the most. Instead of getting congratulated her parents would tell her she was not worthy of their praise. The feeling of worthlessness was the only thing she ever felt when she was home. She was beaten countless times, the perfect daughter image constantly being imprinted into her brain. She had to be perfect.

She didn't want my sympathy, but I felt so bad for her. The things Alice's parents did to her were horrendous. If she didn't do something right she'd be tormented and isolated for days in a dark, windowless room. That explained why she would miss so many school days and come back with a broken spirit and even worse attitude towards life in general. Why would her parents do that shit to her? And why didn't she report them? I wanted to, but I couldn't once I looked into her emotionless eyes and promised her I wouldn't say anything.

We were quiet for a while, me staring at her while she bit her lip.

"I've been a monster to you, Bella. I know it's not fair of me to ask, but can we start over? Can we do that?" Alice asked expectantly, her eyes pleading with mine.

My bottom lip went straight in between my teeth as I pondered what she asked of me. Did she really want to be friends? Why now?

I wasn't even sure if we could put our differences aside. She was such a bitch to me throughout all these years that I was extremely wary of even trusting her. I couldn't imagine being friends with her. But, she was popular and if I was popular I wouldn't get mean notes taped to my truck. I'd get Jasper Whitlock. Isn't that what I always wanted? There were so many advantages to being popular, but with great power comes great responsibility. Okay, no, wrong movie quote. I was only looking at the rewards of being Alice's friend, not the drawbacks. Wasn't this wrong? I was planning on using her friendship to move up the social ladder.

Maybe that was why I smiled at Alice, and walked around the island to wrap her in a hug. I nodded my head and agreed to start fresh. I agreed to forget everything, including Rosalie ever being my friend. I agreed to becoming a Popular.

**So I said I was going to update last week. I was, but then my appendix ruptured on Monday. It just boom, exploded. So I barely found time to get off my ass and upload the chapter I promised. On a lighter note, who watched the Super Bowl? I am so proud to call myself a Giants fan. I swear I wanted to jump up and down at the end, but since I'm all stapled up that wouldn't have been so smart. So yeah, go Giants!**

**What did you think? Anybody feel bad for Alice? Teasers for reviewers. Jasper appearance up next ;)**

**~geek**


	7. Chapter 7

***~*Yeah an early update. Well's I got my stapled removed and I decided to update sooner rather than later. Just want to thank everyone that reads, reviews, and adds the story onto their alerts & faves. You're the reason why I get off my ass and update. Just a little heads up, there's some Beiber & GaGa bashing. I don't like 'em.**

***~*Do I wish I owned Twilight? I'm not gonna lie, I do. Do I own Twilight? No, sadly, no.**

Alice and I spent the rest of the day laughing together. I recounted my adventures from when I was younger and each one brought a small smile to her lips. It was good to see her in this new light. With those walls down, she was a new person. She was Alice two-point-oh.

I wasn't just going to give away my trust, though, and I told her so. She was gonna have to gain my trust before I started sharing secrets.

Surprisingly, she didn't mention Rosalie or Emmett, for that matter. I was glad and a bit apprehensive. Weren't friends curious? Didn't they wanna know the latest gossip? I knew for a fact that the student body was coming up with ridiculous stories to explain why Rosalie and I stopped talking. At school, some freshman actually asked me if Rose and I stopped talking because she wouldn't let me fuck Emmett. So fuck the rumor mill.

My mom did a double take when she saw Alice in my room. Renée knew that I hated Alice and seeing me laughing with her must have been shocking for my mom. Nonetheless, she had a smile on her face and complimented Alice's outfit. I zoned out once they started to make plans for a shopping spree.

When Alice's chauffer pulled up in front of my house, I attempted to program my phone number into her fancy touch screen cell. I was flustered and after pressing the wrong numbers fifteen times, she snatched the phone away and saved it herself. She smirked while teasing my non-advanced texting skills. Pshh, not my fault she had a phone that would put Batman's to shame. Get it? Cause Batman had a bunch of complicated gadgets and shit. Man, I cracked myself up.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stretched like a cat, moaning when some joints popped. My hand covered my mouth as I yawned. Ugh, and it was barely Tuesday.

I jumped out of bed, gooseflesh instantly breaking out once the cold morning air hit my skin. I shuddered and made a mental note to start wearing warmer pajamas. These shorts weren't keeping me warm at all.

Skipping over to the bathroom, I took a quick shower, dried my hair and dressed in my school outfit. A simple New Order shirt, red hoodie and jeans were my wardrobe choices for the day. I played with the ends of my hair, debating whether or not I should do something with it. Meh.

I slipped on my beat up shoes and grabbed a Pop-tart on my way out. Walking out into the rain and towards my truck, I froze when I saw an ostentatious pink car parked in front of my house. _What the fuck? _

My eyebrows furrowed and I slowly walked to my van, my eyes never leaving the car. The windows were tinted so dark I was pretty sure it was illegal. At first glance it looked like a Lambo, but once I saw the emblem in front of the car I knew instantly it was an Audi R8 V10 Spyder. How did I know? Rosalie was like an infomercial, constantly yapping on and on about the engine, horse power and some other shit I didn't really care about.

Fuck, I had to stop thinking about her. She was probably strutting down some hallway, basking in the attention countless people showered upon her. Anymore attention and her fathead would explode.

I bit my lip while unlocking my car door, throwing my bag inside. Judging by the color of the car, the owner must be an airhead or gay, hopefully it was the latter because I was in desperate need of a friend with a funny bone. I've only met one male that batted for the other team; Justin Beiber. Haha, I was just kidding. I never met that _creature_ and I was crossing my fingers that he got attacked by a gang of ravenous vampires. The kind of vampires from '_Underworld_'. Y'know, the ones that drink blood out of wine glasses and fight to the death against the Lycans. Yeah, those kind.

The slamming of a car door broke through my homicidal thoughts. I looked up at the car and saw that the owner was none other than Alice. Should have known.

Alice walked over to me at a brisk pace, her umbrella protecting her from the light drizzle. She wore a purple cardigan over some frilly lavender shirt. A pair of black skinny jeans and purple heels topped off her little get up. Sunglasses hid her eyes and I wondered if she was sporting a black eye. The thought went away almost as soon as it came.

The rain wasn't all that bad so I didn't bother to pull my hood up. Frizzy hair wasn't really at top of my priority list. As if reading my thoughts, Alice warned me about getting frizzy hair. Like I cared.

"So when did you learn how to drive for yourself, Alice," I said casually, not stopping the smirk already forming.

She shocked the hell out of me by sticking out her tongue and scrunching up her nose. Huh, she had a childish side to her? That was so not weird.

"Ugh, it's too early for sarcasm, Bella." Her tone of voice was all kinds of groggy and tired. She sounded like she had a hangover, which was most likely true. She told me got blackout drunk whenever her parents decided it was time to 'mold' her into a perfect daughter.

I shook my head. Alice must have had an extra bad night if she got that fucked up. She sounded like she drowned herself at the bottom of a Bacardi bottle. Not that I blamed her, having crappy parents had to take a toll. I mean, my mom was interested in my life only if it involved me dressing like a hooker or if I got myself a boyfriend. And seeing as how I wasn't going to be accomplishing those wonderful goals any time soon, she was gonna continue to be apathetic.

I arched an eyebrow at Alice before responding bitingly, "Well, aren't you a happy camper."

She huffed at my cynic ways and mumbled under her breath, most likely obscenities falling from her lips.

I leaned on my van and checked my phone for the time. Shit. It was seven forty-eight, giving me only ten minutes to catch the tardy bell. Oh well, I was late. Thanks a lot, Alice.

"I just came to ask if you want a ride. We only have one Earth and gotta take care of it. Carpooling is the least we could do to help the ol' ozone." A hesitant smile formed on her lips and I laughed. She was a tree hugger, or acting like she cared about the environment.

"Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. Besides, I sort of don't really wanna be seen getting out of a pink car." My eyes slid over to the flamboyant car. "People might get the wrong idea."

If Alice wasn't wearing shades, I probably would have seen the eye roll. What? Yeah, my baby was a gas guzzler, but I couldn't find it in me to give it up. I liked having the Hippie Mobile. It made me feel like I was a member of The Beatles, specifically John. Let's face it, LSD and Lennon were basically buddies back in the good old days. Ah, I love John.

The tiny hand waving in my face broke me out of my Beatles' daze and I sighed. I already declined her offer. What else did the sprite want?

"Nevermind, see you at school, whore." She blew kisses and I instantly had a Mean Girls flashback. That part where the blonde bitchily demands the ginger to get her gram, but then blondie blows a kiss at ginger and says she loves her.

I said nothing in response and slid into my car. I looked into the rearview mirror, waiting until she shot off. The drive to school was spent wondering if Jasper liked me. Yeah, I wasn't obsessing over it.

His actions sure did prove that he liked me. I was sure he didn't go around kissing random girls he didn't like. That would be weird, but hey, if he kept on kissing me I wouldn't really mind. I sighed. I really needed to tell him how I feel. Later. Maybe. Never.

I pulled into the lot and quickly parked far away from Alice's Malibu Barbie car. I wouldn't ever be able to get a car that shade. I'd rather pull a Cobain and go all shotgun rain. I'd rather turn into a Lady GaGa fan. What did she call her fans? Zombies? Ogres? Oh yeah, Monsters. Ooberly lame.

My walk to my first class was purposely slow. I was already late, so what was the point of rushing? Thanks for agreeing.

I was already in the building when I was suddenly grabbed around the waist and pushed to the lockers. I was about to bitch out and unleash my Swan fury, but a smooth Texan voice froze me in place. My mouth fell open and I was pretty sure I looked mental.

"I don't think you wanna catch flies in that pretty mouth of yours," he teased and I instantly snapped my mouth shut.

I muttered too low for him to here and stared at the floor before looking up at his face. Such a gorgeous face. It wasn't fair that he was just so beautiful. How could a guy be that pretty without being classified as a chick? It was just impossible.

"How are you, Bella?" Mighty fine. Thank you very much. Especially since his hand was on my hip.

"Never been better," I breathed out, sounding like I didn't have enough oxygen in my lungs, which I didn't. Jasper rendered me breathless and caused my underwear to disintegrate.

"What did you think about the CD? Liked it?" Oh shit, the CD!

The look in his eyes made me feel like shit for forgetting all about his gift. My mouth opened and words flew out at a rapid pace. "It didn't even cross my mind yesterday. Alice was at my house and we were so busy talking that I forgot to listen to it. Oh my god, you probably think I'm ungrateful! I'll listen to it once I get home. I promise. Fuck, I am so-"

Lips crashed against mine and I had to stifle a moan. I was so glad I had a bad case of word vomit because Jasper's lips on mine was absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. His taste was something magical. He tasted like honey and-and did he just trace my lip with his tongue?

My gasp caused my mouth to open, giving him the access he wanted. My useless hands finally did something and wound into his pretty hair. Yes, his hair was pretty. I briefly wondered if Jasper kissed like Warren Stanford and instantly pushed away the thought. It was clear by the way Jasper was kissing me that he knew what he was doing. I didn't have to worry about getting my molars licked.

The tip of his tongue flicked mine tentatively at first, but as our lust increased, our tongues danced together. It was like some weird fight for dominance and I didn't mind giving it to Jasper. I was getting dizzy and had to pull away before I passed out from lack of oxygen. That would have been so embarrassing.

Jasper's hand rested on my hip and he brushed my hair behind my ear. The look in his sea-green eyes made me feel alive, charged at the amount of lust in them. They were such a deep green that I hardly saw those flecks of blue in them anymore. The smile on his face was infectious and pretty soon I was beaming up at him. I never thought having word vomit would be such a good thing.

"You're really cute when you ramble," he whispered, a teasing tone to his deep voice. I rolled my eyes, waiting for the blush to fill my cheeks. He called me cute.

I'm not the one that's so sexy. It's not fair that someone can be so damn irresistible. He was like sex on legs. Umf.

The shit-eating grin on his face made me realize that I just said all that shit out loud. Oh my god. Kill me now.

I threw my head back against the locker, instantly wincing at the sting. Jasper's grin just got wider and I was blushing, embarrassed about my previous slip up. The emotion in his eyes threw me for a loop and I was just staring up at him. I forgot things when I was with this guy. I should be heading somewhere right about now. A classroom. I think.

What day is it?

He smiled at me then said, "Tuesday."

I was momentarily confused at his random statement, but blushed. Fuck, my filter just wasn't working today. I groaned and this time he kissed me before squeezing my hip tightly then pulled away from me.

His hands were in his pockets and I wanted to touch him again. I was so pathetic and so far gone, but I didn't care. All I wanted was Jasper and he actually might want me back. There was such thing as a God.

"Meet me behind the gym after school," Jasper suddenly blurted.

My lip was in between my teeth once more. Meet him behind the gym? He wasn't planning anything, right? Jasper was one confusing person. I was sporting a headache trying to decipher that look in his eyes.

"Um, okay." The words fell from my lips slowly and I played with the drawstring of my hoodie.

Now that the lust was gone, that damn awkward silence was back, and with a vengeance. Jasper nodded and I had to stop myself from nodding my head along with him. I really needed to get to class. No, what I really needed to do was stop kissing Jasper in empty hallways and kiss him in public. I needed to tell him how I feel. I needed to- dear Jesus, his lips were magical.

He clutched my waist as I gripped onto his hair. We broke apart and pressed our foreheads together. A giant grin was on his face and my lips curved up in a gentle smile.

"See ya," he whispered, pecking me once, twice before separating.

I waved as he walked backwards. Once he turned around, my eyes went down to his ass. Damn, how could it look so good in jeans. It looked even better without those jeans. I would know, I boned him. I giggled to myself and counted down to the end of the school day.

God hated me. That was the only reason why time was so fucking slow. All of my teachers droned on and on about things that I really should have listened to, but didn't. Who cared about the square root of pi? I didn't that was for sure. Whatever, it was finally lunch time and I was already dreading Choir.

Alice sat across from me and was trying to cajole me into dressing more like a girl. She said I looked like a dude trapped in a girl body. I looked down at my outfit and scrunched up my face.

"What's wrong with New Order?" I asked, rather hurt at her statement. I loved New Order.

Alice looked thoroughly confused as she replied, "What order?"

The bell drowned out my cry of outrage. She didn't know about New Order? I needed to make a CD for her ASAP. Speaking of CD's, I still had to listen to Jasper's. He probably put an unknown band on there. Hopefully. I needed new bands.

I dragged my feet as I walked to the auditorium, impatient for the day to end and not wanting to head into my least favorite class. I wanted to see what Jasper wanted. Was he gonna ask me to be his girlfriend? Was he gonna proclaim his love for me and go all overly romantic on me? So many questions, but like always with Jasper, I had no answers.

Mrs. Lance saw me trying to sneak in and her floaty voice drifted over to me. "Isabella, we shall be singing 'Hometown Glory' today. Get the lyrics and prepare to lead." I groaned, my head falling back on my shoulders.

Fuck me sideways and back. I didn't want to sing today. I just wanted to see Jasper. I wanted him so bad. Jesus Christ, I sounded like a whiney drama queen. Or worse, like Alice.

"No!" I fell to my knees and threw my hands up in the air. I dragged out the 'o', turning a word with one syllable into a word with a hundred thousand syllables. I sucked in a breath once my lungs started to burn and instantly blushed at my Luke Skywalker moment.

Everyone was staring at me, amusement in their eyes. I quickly jumped to my feet and being the klutz that I was, I tripped on nothing. Fuck, that was so humiliating. People were laughing at me and I was blushing red.

Slowly this time, I got up and brushed off invisible dirt from my jeans. Thankfully, Mrs. Lane decided to imitate me and dragged out a 'yes'. It captured the students attention and I was eternally thankful.

I stepped onto the stage ten minutes later. I was confident that I knew the lyrics. It was nerve-wracking being the only one onstage, but I sucked it up and waited for my cue. Mrs. Lane was playing the piano and I was entranced. My eyes slid close and I lightly rocked my body back and forth. Huh, I was dancing.

My eyes were closed and I didn't know why or how, but I knew that now was time to sing. It didn't feel like I was singing, but I heard my voice. I never noticed how melodic it was. It amazed me.

The lyrics tumbled out my mouth effortlessly. My eyes clenched as I belted out the notes of the first verse.

_"I've been walking in the same way as I did_  
><em>Missing out the cracks in the pavement<em>  
><em>And tutting my heel and strutting my feet<em>  
><em>"Is there anything I can do for you dear? Is there anyone I could call?"<em>  
><em>"No and thank you, please Madam. I ain't lost, just wandering"<em>"

I faintly heard the other students joining in at the chorus, but my voice overpowered them. This was all so strange for me. I never felt this free before. I felt like I was on cloud nine.

The changes in keys clued me in that we were almost done with the second verse. Again, I belted the end of the verse and was now singing the chorus. I vaguely remembered that I was going to have to 'Do-dah' right after the chorus.

As the last note of the chorus died, I started to slowly increase my pitch with each 'do' and 'dah'. The 'yeah' was a little harder, seeing as my pitch had to increase gradually. I managed to hit the note I was assigned and I took in a small breath before continuing.

_Are the wonders of my world_  
><em>Are the wonders of my world<em>  
><em>Are the wonders of this world<em>  
><em>Are the wonders of my<em> world"

My voice took on a haunted quality towards the end and I marveled at the sound. I took in a shuddering breath and cracked my eyes open for the first time since the song started. There was a round of applause and I blushed before scratching the back of my neck.

I bowed, feeling extremely childish. Mrs. Lane was quick to praise me; I wasn't that good. She was declaring that I was a prodigy and I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. All this attention was foreign because for once, it wasn't the bad kind of attention. It was the kind of attention where you got envious looks; so strange to me.

The bell rang and Mrs. Lane told me I would have the day off tomorrow. Well, at least something good could come out of this.

When I walked into my next class, Mr. Knox started to tease me about singing professionally. I blushed and ducked my head, silently executing the exercises he gave us. Damn it, nobody better have recorded my singing. I didn't want to be one of those people on Youtube.

The class went by smoothly and pretty soon school was over. I gunned it over to the back of the gym, expecting Jasper to be there. He wasn't. I sighed and leaned against the wall. Maybe he was held up somewhere talking to his football buddies.

Five minutes passed and still no sign of him. I was actually starting to get a little worried. What happened? Surely he didn't get hurt. What if he forgot he was supposed to meet me here? No. Not likely. He was giving me that look. He was coming.

Fifteen minutes. I was jumping up and down out of impatience. I'd bounce for a while, pace while bite my lip, and then stop to run a hand through my hair. Then the cycle would continue.

Where was he? He didn't forget. He was just busy. Really busy by the looks of it. But, where the fuck was he? He didn't- he couldn't. I just had to wait for a while. No need to jump to conclusions.

By the time it hit thirty minutes, it was as clear as crystal. He wasn't coming.

I willed the tears to go away and slowly walked back to the car park. He stood me up? He didn't show up. I was such an idiot for thinking he actually wanted me. Me. Isabella Swan. I was nothing but a wallflower. My heart hurt so badly. It felt like Jasper ripped my heart out of my chest, stomped on it, spit on it, dumped it in acid then placed it back in. I was dying.

He didn't want me. He didn't want me.

I didn't know how I got in my car, much less how I drove home. I didn't even make it up the steps. I crumbled up at the foot of the stairs and just cried.

He didn't want me.

***~*This is where I run and hide, but don't forget to let me know what you think. I wanna here your opinions, even if you may think Jasper is a prick. Up Next: Bella puts on her big girl panties.**

**~geek**


	8. Chapter 8

***~*I want to thank everyone that read, added the story to their alerts/faves, or reviewed. You make my day brighter.**

***~*Don't own.**

I cried and cried and cried. What else was I gonna do? I was just stood up. I waited for thirty minutes and he didn't fucking show up. He didn't want me. He thought I was unworthy of his time. That was why he didn't even bother showing up. He didn't want me.

The tears were still coming full force, but I managed to shuffle up the steps and to my room. I fell on my bed and clutched the pillow to my face. It didn't help me silence the loud sobs, but it at least captured my tears.

I was so pathetic. So stupidly devoted to him. I finally knew how Sandy felt. She was all about Danny and was heartbroken when she found out he was like every other guy. Now I knew what it was like to have the man of your dreams break your heart. Jasper made me feel like a fool. I was stupid to get my hopes up. Who would like a boring, fat plain Jane? I was so, so stupid.

He was everything to me. And if I had to admit it, he was still my world. I loved him. It hurt to say it. Shouldn't love be uplifting and happy? Why was I so fucking heartbroken? I was in love. Yes, I was in love with someone who didn't like me at all.

I sobbed and held the pillow for dear life. The pain in my chest was so unbearable. I just wanted to die. There was no point in living if the person you'd give anything for didn't want you. The note was right. Jasper didn't want me. He would never want me.

My tears weren't stopping and I was planning on wallowing in my pain for a couple more hours. I wanted to cry myself out, to allow the heartbreak to take over me. I loved him so much. Why didn't he love me? I gave everything to him. For fuck's sake, I gave him my virginity. That had to count for something.

My phone went off, the chorus of "Sexy and I Know It" causing me to cringe at the sudden noise. I still haven't changed Emmett's self-programmed ringtone. Sneaky bastard changed the tone weeks ago, but I just couldn't find it in me to switch it back.

While glaring at the phone, I contemplated answering the phone. If I answered, Emmett would immediately hear the tears in my voice and question me until I told him all about the Jasper situation. But if I ignored the call, he'd no doubt keep trying to contact me. Either way, I was screwed.

Deciding to not answer the phone, I waited till the ringing stopped before turning off the phone. He'd get the message.

Not even a minute after I turned off the device, my eyes began to water and the pain in my chest worsened. It hurt so fucking much. It wasn't just my chest that hurt, no, it was my soul. There was this ache deep within me that just wouldn't go away. I wasn't sure if I wanted it to go away.

Crying myself numb for the rest of the day was appealing to me, and I did just that. Nobody checked in on me, but I could hear the house phone ringing. There was no way I was going to get up to answer it. I wanted to be alone and suffer.

Why wasn't I good enough for him? Was I too ugly? Was it because I was too boring? What did I do wrong for him to not show up? I cried as questions formed in my head. The answer was clear, but I didn't want to accept it. It was simple enough. He didn't want me.

At some point I got up to use the restroom, my bladder about ready to explode. The room seemed to be spinning and I felt the bile creeping up my throat. I barely made it to the toilet. Guess it wasn't my bladder.

I vomited everything in my stomach, crying the whole time. My fingers gripped the toilet as my whole body shook from the forces of my heaving. Saliva dripped down my chin and chunks of throw up were in my hair. I didn't care enough to be disgusted. My head fell to rest on top my arms and tears fell down my cheeks. He didn't want me.

I sighed and shakily got to my feet. I grabbed the mouthwash and rinsed my mouth twice, gagging at the way the mint tasted. It burned my throat and I welcomed the pain. I wanted anything to get rid of the pain deep in my chest. It hurt so fucking bad.

My feet carried me to the bed and I glanced at the clock eight seventeen. It wasn't anywhere near my normal sleeping time, but I was exhausted. I crawled in under the covers and held the pillow to my face. I cried.

Some time in between my sobbing, I fell into a restless sleep. Jasper's head was thrown back as laughter shook his shoulders. I cried at his feet, begging him to tell me why he didn't show up. He glanced down at me. His eyes were cold as steel and there was only emotion in them, disgust. He sneered at me while saying in a chilling voice, "You're worthless," and then laughed when more tears rolled down my cheeks.

I couldn't sleep after that.

It was now seven thirty-three and I was staring out the window, not really seeing anything. My tears must have run out because I wasn't crying…yet. I should have dressed to go to school, but I didn't want to face him. I didn't want to see the disgust in those eyes. I would die if I saw him. He didn't want me and never would.

There was a loud honk outside my house and I sighed. Couldn't they fucking understand I wanted to be alone? Even my parents gave me my space once they saw that my door was locked. The locked door told them what I didn't, "give me a couple of days". So hearing the honk was extremely aggravating.

I huffed and pushed away my curtains to see who it was. Pink Audi parked in my driveway. I groaned before moving away from the window. I wasn't in the mood to talk to an overly excited pixie today. I just wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

Staying in my room was what I ended up doing, but I wondered if Tinker Bell would just ring the doorbell. Much to my dismay, she did in fact ring the doorbell. The annoying bell echoed through the empty house and erupted inside my brain. Fuck, I had a headache.

Making my way down the steps, I tried to prepare myself for the human Red Bull currently murdering my doorbell. Did she not understand that you ring the bell only once or twice, not twenty freaking times? She was killing my goddamn bell. I swung the door open and glared at her through my puffy eyes. Now, I knew for a fact that I looked like shit because, well, I felt like shit frozen over. But Alice's reaction made me want to check my face for bruises and blood. She acted like I got in some cage fight and lost. It felt like my heart was the one that lost a fight.

"Bella, what happened to you?" Alice exclaimed, rushing to wrap her arms around my waist. I was too shocked to do anything, so I settled for shrugging a shoulder. I hoped that she would get the message and go to school. My pity party was still free from the cops and I wanted to go back to bed and enjoy the party. Why did my pity party feel more like a funeral?

I none too gently broke free from Alice's embrace and rubbed my hands across my face. "Do I look that bad?" I whispered brokenly.

She sighed and shook her head. She stared at me for a couple of seconds before screeching and shouting about a plan she had. I groaned and rubbed my temples; her screaming wasn't helping the headache I was sporting. Besides, if her plan consisted of going to school, then she was in for a rude awakening. I was not attending school today, or tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day, or ever. Jasper was still there and I was not going to run into him.

"What you need is a shopping trip!" Her eyes were full of excitement and all sparkly and shit. For a nanosecond of a millisecond, I felt bad that I was going to burst her happy fantasy, but then the guilt faded away and I didn't feel too bad.

"No, Alice, I do not need a shopping spree. What I do need is for you to get out my house and go back to Forks High, the happiest place on earth." I didn't mean to sound so bitchy- oh who was I kidding. I was being bitchy on purpose. I just wanted to be alone and she wasn't taking the fucking hint.

Alice scrunched up her face before pushing past me and dropping her bag on my couch. I grumbled under my breath and shut the door. Looked like she wasn't leaving any time soon. Just peachy.

She whirled around and took one glance at me before saying the one word that brought me to tears again. "Jasper." I started balling and crumpled to the carpet floor. I hugged my knees to my chest and rested my head on them. My hair was like a curtain that sheltered me from Alice's prying eyes. Why couldn't she just go to fucking school?

"Because you're my friend and I don't like seeing my friends upset. Now, what did that ass do?" Oops, guess I must have asked that out loud.

So I told her everything and I mean _everything_. Even the bang session with Jasper at band camp. She smirked and asked for all the 'deets'. I told her in a non-sassy way that she shouldn't stick her hand in my cookie jar. Then I started crying harder when I recounted how Jasper stood me up. I told her that I loved him with every iota in my being and that he didn't even like me. She shook her head and offered words of encouragement. She boosted up my confidence with just a couple of words.

It was amazing how I ever hated this girl. I was starting to depend on her and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Sort of relieved. Rosalie would have- nope, not going there. She wasn't in my life anymore. Alice was and that was enough for me.

After having to listen to Alice's begging and pleading for twenty minutes, I begrudgingly agreed to go shopping with her. I just said yes to shut her up. I didn't think that she wanted to go at that moment. So there I was, drying my hair from the shower Alice demanded me to take. I felt better, but there was still that gaping hole in my chest. I even looked in the mirror to see if I had a bleeding hole in my chest. I touched the skin that protected my heart, but saw nothing. No scar, no wound. It was inside that was hurting.

"Ugh, please tell me you are not planning on wearing that monstrosity in public."

I looked down at my shirt, trying to find what was wrong with it. It was just a simple Darth Vader shirt with the words 'Who's your daddy?' printed across my chest. What was so wrong with funny Star Wars shirts?

"Yes. That is why I'm wearing it," I said slowly, making sure she heard every word coming out my mouth.

She rolled her eyes and smacked my arm. I pouted while rubbing my arm. She hit like a butterfly. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and slipped on my Chuck's, ignoring Alice's comments on my shoes. I grabbed my striped sweater and walked outside with Alice. I was heading toward my car, but her tiny hand grabbed my wrist. Her eyes shot toward her car and I groaned.

"Ah, Alice you owe me big time," I muttered and walked to the passenger side of her car.

She squealed and unlocked the door, babbling on and on about what I was going to need. What I needed was Jasper. The pain was killing me and I was forcing myself to not burst into tears. I only agreed to this shopping spree so Alice would get off my back. Besides, it wasn't like we were going to Seattle or anything. Oh, how was I wrong.

I had to endure four hours of listening to brain-melting pop while Alice drove us to some mall in Seattle. First, I had to suffer the ferry that took us to Bainbridge. Then the Hood Canal toll bridge that led us to Port Angeles. But once she passed Port Angeles, I knew we were going to Seattle. Of course we weren't going to shop in a town that only sold clothes from the nineteenth century.

"We're here," Alice said excitedly while cutting off the engine. She looked over at me and her smile slowly faded away when she saw my grimace. "Bella, I hate seeing you like this. C'mon we-we don't have to buy anything. I just want to put a smile on your face. Don't let him do this to you." Her words hit me hard. I didn't want to be that pathetic little girl. I had to be strong.

Alice smiled at me before handing me some sunglasses. "No offense, but your eyes look really, really ugly. I don't think you want people mean mugging you." I snatched the glasses from her and quickly put them on. No, I didn't want people staring at my mug all day.

We started to walk towards the mall and I was starting to regret my decision. What the hell was I thinking? Shopping wasn't going to take the heartache away. I hated shopping.

When we entered the mall, Alice instantly pulled me inside some store called _Ambrosia_. Most of the clothes in the shop looked too trendy. There were a couple of girls browsing through the clothes and I sighed. Two girls were actually fighting over some knitted sweater. I laughed at them and sung 'Undone' under my breath.

I was walking around when I caught sight of a dress. It was a cobalt spaghetti strap, corset dress with an asymmetric hem. The bodice was caged mesh and the skirt had a pleated detailing. Just the color alone was stunning.

My fingers lightly ran over the material and I sighed longingly. Dresses weren't my forte, yet this dress was screaming at me to buy it. I glanced down at the price was surprised that it was in my price range. There was no reason for me to not buy it. I turned away from the dress with a heavy heart and continued to walk through the boutique. Every few seconds my eyes would return to the dress and I would hold my breath when a girl touched it.

Alice was flirting with a guy outside the store and I was starting to get irritated. Is that why she took me here? Just so she could shove it in my face that she could get boys and I couldn't? That boys flocked around her and clung to every word she said? I wiped the angry tear away from my cheek. I didn't need to cry at some mall. I aimlessly walked around the store, ignoring the annoyed looks the clerks were shooting at me. If I wanted to buy something I would.

I heard Alice's giggle behind me and had to clench my eyes shut before facing her. She had a couple of dresses in her hands, but a specific one stood out. The dress I wanted so badly.

I stared at the blue dress in her hands. It really wasn't the dress I was worried about. Losing my identity was what I was scared of. If I bought the dress, not only would my wardrobe be changing, but my whole persona would, too. I was basically agreeing to change myself and be someone I wasn't. Normally I'd shy away from change, but now I wanted something new, fresh.

I didn't want to be Bella Swan, 'Rosalie Hale's barely decent ex-best friend' or 'that girl who Jasper Whitlock rejected'. No, I wanted to be the girl that turned heads. I wanted to prove to Jasper Whitlock that I was good enough for him.

With my lip in between my teeth, I took the dress from Alice and walked to the register. This was a huge deal for me and somehow Alice knew. She placed a hand on my shoulder and brightly smiled at me. I smiled back and for once in my life I was actually excited about shopping.

"He really doesn't know what he's missing out on." I blushed at Alice's words and shook my head. "Hopefully he'll get his head out of his head soon."

I smiled wryly at her and silently paid for the dress. For once in my life, I wasn't being forced into buying a dress and it made me smile that I was getting something I wanted. Not my mom, but me.

"I guess we have to find some accessories for this?" Alice dropped the dresses she was holding and hugged me while jumping up and down. She was giggling madly and I regretted ever suggesting the idea.

She pulled away from me, her gray eyes sparkling with mischief. "Oh, Bella. We are going to have so much fun today." I doubted it.

Squealing one last time, she picked up the dresses and hung them in a rack nearby. An employee glared at her as we walked out the store. Alice led me to another store and started telling me what colors would go with the dress. She shoved a white cardigan into my hands and asked for my shoe size.

Alice took the cardigan into her hands and handed me a pair of blue pumps. "Here try these on."

I looked down at the shoes in horror, shaking my head while telling her how I would fall in them. She laughed at me. I scowled at her as I hesitantly took off both my shoes and socks. The heels were going to kill me, I was sure of it.

I slipped on the heels and stood straight. I glanced down at Alice and saw her looking up at me expectantly with an eyebrow raised. She really didn't expect me to walk in these? I was going to break my fucking ankle if I did.

"Listen, Tink," I snickered when she scowled at the nickname, "I don't wanna pop your trippy bubble, but if I walk in these I will end up in the emergency room. Now, I do not think you want to end up in the ER with me, so if you don't mind I'll put my shoes on." Before I cared to comprehend, Alice had my socks and shoes in her hands and was at the other side of the room.

I groaned when I realized that she wasn't going to back down easily. I damned her to hell and hesitantly took a step forward. So far so good. I took three steps forward and smiled when I didn't lose my balance. With my head held high, I walked over to where Alice was standing, not tripping once.

"See! You don't give yourself enough credit. Okay, put your shoes back on. We still got a lot to buy."

Alice ended up paying for the cardigan and shoes, even though I argued that I could pay for them. She said to think of them as gifts. Fifty gifts later we were finally driving back to Forks with my new Alice-approved outfits. If I had to admit it, I actually liked the things we bought. They were girly, but not over the top.

"Thanks for the clothes, Alice," I said while drumming my fingers to the beat of 'Mr. Brightside'. "Even though I could have-" I didn't get to finish because she threw her lip gloss at me.

We laughed together and she shook her head before responding, "I have enough money to not give a shit about where it goes. Besides, it feels nice to fund a lost cause." I gaped at her and held my hand over my heart in mock hurt.

"Am I a lost cause?" My pout caused her to giggle and she shook her head at me.

She flashed me a smirk before telling me, "No, not a lost cause…anymore."

I blushed and smacked her arm as she giggled. We were in front of my house and were taking up all the shopping bags into my room. I wished she would have let me pay for all the clothes. I didn't feel good about her paying for all of my things. She sighed once we were done and started to look in my closet.

Groaning, I pulled her away from my clothes. Her lip jutted out and I rolled my eyes. Pouts never worked on me and never would. "You could clean it out some other time. You better head home before my mom gets here. She's gonna freak when she sees all the clothes."

Alice laughed, but stepped away from the closet like I asked. She helped me hang up all the clothes and clapped her hands together once finished.

"Thanks, Alice. I don't know what I would've done if you didn't come over." It was true. I probably would've still been crying. Yes, my heart was still hurting, but it wasn't so excruciating. She showed up when I needed her most and that's what I wanted in a friend.

She smiled and hugged me. She pulled away and softly stated, "You're my friend. You shouldn't get so down over what some asswipe does to you. I'll see you tomorrow. Better wear that dress, biotch. We're gonna rock Jasper's world! Love's you!" With a swift kiss to my cheek she walked out the house and to her pink car.

I walked back up to my room. Yes, we were definitely going to rock Jasper's world.

***~*The songs mentioned are "Undone (The Sweater Song)" by Weezer and "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers. Leave a review and tell me what you think. Up Next: Bella's makeover.**

**~geek**


	9. Chapter 9

***~*I have to thank all those that read, review, or add the story to their alerts/faves. You guys are the light to my shitty days. RL has been a bitch. Hell, even FF was being a bitch. I tried to update yesterday and I wasn't able to. Boo hoo for me. **

***~*Don't own.**

I woke up with a smile on my face. Today was the day I was going to show the whole world that I wasn't just some band geek. Jumping off my bed, I stretched before skipping towards my bathroom. I took a quick shower, wrapped a towel around my body, and then walked back to my room.

My eyes wandered to the dress that I laid atop my desk. I couldn't believe I was actually going to wear it. Yeah it was just a dress, but I felt like it was something more. While I stood in front of the desk, I completely forgot that my mom didn't work today. So when she barreled into my room screaming, I jumped ten feet in the air and screamed bloody murder.

"Mom!" I breathed out, my hand over my towel-covered chest. "You scared the absolute shit out of me!"

My mom scowled before walking out my room. She returned seconds later, a giddy Alice Brandon in tow. I shrieked and gripped the towel closer to my body. How the fuck did Tink get in my house at this ungodly hour? And why the hell didn't my mom warn me?

"Alice! I'm naked!" She rolled her eyes at my blush before placing her bag on my unmade bed.

I quickly grabbed the dress and some undergarments before running to the bathroom. God, that was so embarrassing. My heart was still pumping and the blush was still coloring my cheeks. Did my mom not care about my dignity? Obviously not. I rubbed a hand over my face before slowly changing. I stared at my reflection in awe when completely dressed.

The dress fit my form perfectly and I looked, dare I say it, _pretty_. Those curves my mom always pointed out were being accentuated for once. Both of my hands flew up to my chest and I tilted my head to the side. I unconsciously squeezed my breasts while wondering how the hell I failed to notice my boobs. Was I so self-conscious that I didn't even know I had an awesome rack?

Cursing under my breath, I dropped my hands and walked back to my room. I was suddenly blinded by a bright light and I jumped back in surprise. "What the fuck?" I exclaimed as I rubbed my hands against my eyelids.

I heard my mom's excited giggle and shuddered. "Oh, honey! You look gorgeous! I told you, you had a rockin' body. Now all you need is a boyfriend to make great use of that bod, right Ali?"

"Dear lord, Jesus," I muttered as the blush crept up my cheeks. She was going to be the death of me.

Alice laughed and pushed me on the chair in front of my desk. I sat down with a huff and ignored the pictures my mother was taking of me. Alice pulled out a curler from her bag, plugged it in, all the while rambling on about how beautiful I was going to look once she was finished.

She curled my hair, talking the whole time. I wondered if Jasper liked girls with curly hair. My natural hair was wavy so if he liked straight hair I was fucked. I don't think I would be able to straighten my hair every goddamn day. I was way too lazy for that kind of stuff.

Alice squealed and yelled that she was finished. I threw my hands up and smiled. Thank the lord. Just as I was about to stand up from the seat, Alice pushed me back down and forced make-up onto my face. I bitched when she put eye shadow on me and my eyes watered as she applied eyeliner.

"Ugh, Bella quit being such a buzz joy," Alice chastised, some light pink powder thing in her left hand.

I groaned as she put the pink powder on my cheeks. I didn't know much about cosmetics, so I was glaring at every single one of her little products. Once the red lipstick was on my lips, I shot out of my chair and ran to my mirror. What I saw left me shocked and brought tears to my eyes.

I was beautiful. I really didn't know who the alien blinking at me was. There was just no way that was me, she was too pretty. My eye color was actually popping for once and the light blush I had brought some color to my pale face. My lashes were longer now; my lips were a bright red color. My brown hair fell down my back in gentle curls and I smiled.

Alice clapped her hands. "You're so beautiful!" Rolling my eyes, I faced away from the mirror and glanced at her. She had a proud look on her face which made my smile grow wider.

"Thanks a lot, Alice." It felt like I was saying that a lot these days.

A click broke the happy moment and I rolled my eyes at my camera-happy mother. I would let her enjoy her little mock photo shoot. It'd probably be the only time she saw me like this. No, if Jasper liked me all dolled up then I'd dress like this more often. Yeah.

I slipped on my cardigan and heels. I grabbed my bag and posed for one photo with Alice. I giggled at the fact that I now towered over her. Her arms wound around my waist and my arms were around her shoulders. We smiled as my mom started to cry her ugly cry.

"That's our cue to leave," I whispered in Alice's ear.

She laughed before walking down the steps with me. I was a little cautious as I went down, but got to the bottom of the stairs rather quickly. Guess my klutziness was gone.

"Bella, wanna ride in my car? Please? You can even choose the music," Alice pleaded with a pout and everything. My hand rubbed under my chin and agreed. Yes, I got to torture her with face-melting drum beats. Fuck yeah.

We had to speed walk to the car since my mother was snapping more pictures. The lady was freaking crazy. She acted like I was getting married or something.

I sighed and pulled out the CD Jasper gave me. I bit my lip while gently opening the case and removing the CD. I slipped it into the CD player above Alice's radio, patiently waiting for the music to start.

The beginning of "Girls" started to play and I threw my head back as the laughter took over. The fact that a xylophone in the song always managed to crack me up, but now I was dying from the joy the simple song was bringing me. I whipped my hair around my face and sung along.

Alice was giggling and to my surprise she was singing along. She yelled "girls" while I sung the rest of the lyrics. I threw my hands up in the air every time "girls" was being said and Alice drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. When the song ended, we laughed and I shook my head at our ridiculous moment.

"Seriously Bella!" Alice squealed, a bright smile on her face. I smiled back at her and waited for the next song to play, which ended up being "Rock the Casbah". Jasper was just full of surprises. "Who is this?" she asked me.

I glared at Alice and started to tell her all about The Clash. She wasn't really paying any attention to me, which wasn't so unexpected.

The beginning of some alternative song started to play, but I didn't get to fully listen to it because we were already driving into the lot. My lip went in between my teeth and I started to wring my hands. The butterflies in my stomach were nauseating.

I turned to Alice when she parked the car, my eyes wide with fright. "I don't know if I could do this," I pleaded.

Alice rolled her eyes before patting my hand in consolation. Her patting my fucking hand wasn't going to stop the panic attack I might have. She stepped out the car and slammed the door behind her. I took three deep breaths before hesitatingly opening my door.

I slowly stepped out the car and shyly looked around me. Stares every-fucking-where. I wasn't kidding. People dropped what they were doing and were now ogling me. I felt uncomfortable under all the eyes, so I simply looked down and walked to my first class, forgetting to say goodbye to Alice. I had to get away from all these creepers.

"Bella!" So much for quick escapes.

I looked up and was tongue tied. For some reason, Edward Masen was walking toward me. Yeah, he was Alice's friend, but that didn't mean he had to be my friend. I knew why Alice was a bitch to me, but Edward really didn't have a reason for making fun of me, other than being a total asshole.

I eyed him suspiciously, trying to read his expressionless face. Damn he was good. "Whadaya want?" I asked him, my attitude coming out to play. I never liked the fucker, so why should I start?

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and I had to smother the giggle threatening to spill out of me. He opened his eyes and caught me in his unblinking stare. I pictured him as an Enderman and had to roll my eyes at the stupid thought. Endermen went on rampages, and I seriously doubted he would go on one.

"Isabella, do please speak more like a lady and not a childish boy?"

I snorted at his formal language and shook my head. "Whatever Edward. Now seriously what do you want?" I said, impatience coloring my tone.

He sighed and looked away from me. Something over his shoulder caught his eyes because he turned to me. This crazy look was on his face and I couldn't think much of it because his lips were suddenly on mine.

My eyes were wide with shock. What was happening? This was not real. Fagward was _not_ kissing me. His nasty lips were not on mine. No, no this wasn't possible. Oh shit! Edward was kissing me! Eww.

I pushed him away from me and my right fist connected with his cheek. His head turned to the side and I glared at him. "Fucking asshole," I spat before walking away. The nerve of that dick. What the fuck made him think kissing me was okay? Did he take too many shrooms today or what the fuck? I seethed while stretching out my fingers. My knuckles felt a little sore, but it was nothing unbearable.

I sat down at my usual seat and ignored all the stares the students were shooting toward me. I bet in a couple minutes I was going to be questioned for slapping Edward, not that I cared. The fucker deserved. He basically sexually harassed me.

My classes went by extremely slow and in each one, I was asked to go out on a date. I didn't give a flying squirrel's left nut about the boys that asked me out. It bothered me to no end that these boys never cared about me before. They only noticed me because of my makeover. It made me feel cheap and low. I was only doing this for Jasper. I wasn't even sure if he would like me like this, but his opinion was all that mattered to me.

I was sitting at a table with Alice, picking at my chicken Caesar salad. Alice bought me the salad and I got what she was hinting at. Watch what you eat. It was harsh, but I told myself that she only got me the salad because she cared. Who was I to be ungrateful to a friend that actually worried about me?

"And so she was like, 'Edward kissed Bella'. And I was like, 'Yeah, that's great, Lauren. Go shave your back'." Alice fell into peals of laughter and I smiled at her.

"Hey, Alice, that reminds me. Tell your butt buddy to keep his fucking lips to himself. I didn't ask him to kiss me," I said, my eyes zeroing in on the back of Edward's head. He was with his little posse at the back of the cafeteria.

Alice rolled her eyes and started to blab about Homecoming, which was about two months away. Nice to know that she was planning ahead of time.

I turned in my seat to crack my back, I saw them watching me. I pursed my lips and glared at them. If they wanted to tell me something they should just come up and say it.

When the bell rang, I slowly walked to the auditorium, silently wishing Jasper would show up like he usually did. I sighed when I got to the auditorium and slipped inside.

Mrs. Lane caught sight of me and complimented my dress. I thanked her then she made us practice vocal exercises. Drumline was the same as always and I pouted the whole time practicing.

Jasper just wasn't here. I felt a strange sense of déjà vu, but I couldn't let the tears fall. I was done crying for a boy that didn't even like me.

I was slowly walking back to Alice's car, my spirit defeated. "I Will Survive" was on repeat in my head and I failed to notice the hand wrapped around mine. I was about to flip out on the prick until I heard the voice.

"Hey."

That one word flipped my whole world upside down and I glanced up at Jasper. He smiled down at me and pushed a lock of my hair behind my ear. I blinked up at him.

He started to lead me through the car park and stopped in front of a black 1966 Chevrolet Chevelle SS 396. I smiled at the muscle car and slipped into the car when he opened my door.

His car smelled of leather and sandalwood. Somehow the scents went together and made the best smell in the world. I drummed my hands against my thigh as I watched Jasper walk around to the driver's side. I pulled out my phone and texted Alice that I would be with Jasper. My phone beeped seconds later and I ignored the text, knowing that Alice would have said something involving me getting some.

Jasper sighed as he closed the car door. He looked over at me and smiled at me. I tentatively smiled back.

"Your car is-"

"Bella, you-"

We laughed at each other and he motioned me for me to talk first. I bit my lip before saying, "I never pictured you as a Chevelle kind of guy."

His eyes lit up and he chuckled before turning on his car. The engine purred and I felt the vibrations under me. "Darlin' there ain't much you know about me." He laughed when I rolled my eyes and went on to say, "Bella, you look stunnin', not that you really needed make-up or anythin'. I just wanted to see if you wanted to come over to my house."

I never thought I saw Jasper so nervous. If it wasn't for the fact that I was so happy, I probably would have teased him about it. I nodded even though he most likely knew I would say yes. How was I going to resist him?

He flashed me a grin then backed out of the spot and drove out the parking lot. He slipped in a disc and I smiled when I heard the Stones' "Satisfaction" start to play.

"You're a Stones fan?" I asked silently.

He turned to me with a lopsided smile. "Yeah, got every album they ever made. Proud to call myself a fan. And you? What kinda music do you like?" His drawl nearly made me melt right there in his seat. It was too fucking sexy.

"Ugh, gotta say that 'Paint It Black' is my favorite song. I'm more punk, though. The Adicts, Ramones, Bad Brains, all that good stuff." I had to stop myself from nodding like an idiot.

He nodded and stayed silent for the remainder of the drive, not that I minded. I had to get my thoughts under control. I was going to his house, going to see his room. Oh god, I'd be in his room. I was so fucking nervous, I felt like my heart was about to come up my throat. I had to calm down.

"We're here."

I looked out the window and was surprised to see that his house was not so fancy. Just your typical two story house with a nice porch and colorful garden out front. I stepped out the car, my bag on my shoulder and stared up at his house.

Jasper grabbed my hand and we walked up to his porch. He unlocked the door and led me in. He slipped off his jacket and hung it in a closet. I looked around the living room and smiled at the simple earth tones. Light greens and beige; nothing like the white couches my mom chose for our house.

I was given the grand tour of the house and laughed when Jasper told me it was a blessing to be the only child. I knew how he felt. I couldn't fathom having a baby sister or brother. I would probably go off the deep end. We ended up in his room and I was staring at his Les Paul.

"It's not fair. How come you can play a million instruments?" I asked while lightly plucking a string.

He laughed and shook his head. "I only know how to play the drums, guitar, and bass. That is not a million instruments, darlin'."

I stuck out my tongue at him and decided to slip off my heels. My feet were aching and I really needed to rest a little. When I looked up at Jasper, his eyes were staring deeply into mine.

"What?" I asked self-consciously.

Jasper smirked before taking three long steps over to me and framing my face in his hands. He leaned down and kissed me sweetly. My whole body went on fire and I placed my hand against his cheek. His head tilted a little and he deepened the kiss.

An arm wrapped around my waist and I moaned into the kiss. My arms were around his neck and his right hand was resting on my ass. The hand gripping my hip slowly went up my side, his fingers gently grazing the side of my breast. My hands went up to his hair and my tongue flicked his.

I walked him backwards, our lips never breaking contact. His legs hit the end of his bed and he silently laid down. I quickly straddled his waist, my hand in his hair, and his lips attacking my neck. I moaned as Jasper's hips grinded up against mine.

I pulled his head up and met his lips up once more and slipped my tongue into his mouth. Our tongues danced and our teeth roughly bit each other's lips. I pulled away with a gasp and felt Jasper's hand start to pull down my zipper.

My body stilled for a second and Jasper stopped when he realized I froze up. He pulled away from me and took in a deep breath. His eyes looked more blue than green. I could basically see the lust and need shining in his eyes.

"Darlin' we don't have to if you don't want to. I swear I wasn't plannin' this-"

My lips crashed against his, efficiently interrupting him. He groaned and his hips bucked up toward mine. I moaned before getting off of him and the bed, ignoring his groans of displeasure.

I bit my lip and my hand went behind my back to unzip my dress. Jasper propped himself up on his elbows and watched me slowly remove my dress. When the dress fell to the ground, his jaw dropped and I smirked. I looked down at my lacy underwear and matching bra, silently thanking Alice for pestering me till I bought it.

A wicked smirk appeared on his face and I smirked right back. I climbed back onto his lap and went back to kissing him roughly.

"Oh, darlin' don't you just-"

I playfully growled at him as I cut him off. "Shut up already, Jasper."

***~*Yes, I'm evil. This way if you want to see what happens next, you'll just have to review so I could update faster. The song "Girls" is by the Beastie Boys and "Rock the Casbah" is by The Clash.**

***~*Just a little side note, the Enderman joke is a reference to Minecraft for any of you confused. He's just some 3 block-high humanoid mob that goes hostile when you stare at it or attack it. I like attacking them. Enough of my geekiness, review!**

**~geek**


	10. Chapter 10

***~*A lot of you were disappointed with Bella for just giving in so easily. Yes, her actions were stupid, but people tend to do stupid things when they're in love. This chapter has a lemon, so if you're younger than 18 I advise you to not read, but I doubt anybody will listen. Major shout out to my pre-reader, Xo BellaItalia oX, who is da absolute bomb!**

***~*Don't own anything Twilight related.**

Jasper's hands lightly gripped my hips, his mouth moving down to my neck. I moaned as his hips rocked against me restlessly. His fingers played at the waistband of my underwear and I found myself begging him to do something. I wanted him everywhere.

"Please," I whimpered, my voice sounding like a typical porno actress. I mentally cringed at how breathless I sounded.

He hummed against my neck before slowly dipping a finger under my panties. The second his finger came into contact with my oversensitive clit, I was about damn near ready to explode. I threw my head back, moaning as his fingers slid inside me. He groaned while thrusting and curling his digits. Jasper was hitting spots I didn't even knew I had.

My left hand flew to his shoulder and the other tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. His tongue tangled with mine as his fingers picked up speed. I pulled away from the kiss and moaned loudly as the pressure in my abdomen tightened.

With each thrust of his fingers, his palm would lightly rub against my clit, which would bring out this guttural sound from my body. I could feel myself on the edge of euphoria, sense the satisfaction that was nearly there. I needed more.

"Fuck Bella. You're so fucking tight," he groaned while his fingers went deeper and harder inside me. I gasped in response, willing that delicious feeling in my stomach to explode.

My back arched as his fingers hit an unfamiliar spongy spot deep within me. "Yes, right…fuck…Jas," I cried out. His lips traveled down my neck, his teeth nipping my collarbone. He bit my nipple through my moan, causing me to arch my back and push my breasts into his face.

His left hand released its grasp on my hip before slowly going behind my back to easily unclasp my bra. I had to take my hands off him so I could take off the bra that was keeping him away from my breasts. As soon as I had the skimpy piece of clothing off, his mouth wrapped around my right nipple. I bit my lip as the tip of his tongue traced circles around my areola. My breathes were ragged, my pleas for release were constant.

"Jasper, don't stop."

He grunted before saying in a husky voice, "I ain't plannin' on stoppin'."

I moaned as I felt myself get wetter at the sound of his drawl. He growled before switching breasts. He bit down on my nipple, his fingers pressed hard against my g-spot, and he pinched my clit. My mouth parted, and his name fell from my lips as I climaxed. My hands clenched in his wheaten hair, dots of white exploding in my vision. I screamed his name again and again, never wanting this feeling of complete bliss to end.

Jasper was suddenly above me and without a shirt I might add. That post-orgasmic bliss people always talked about was blinding me and my senses were slowly coming back to me. I felt high and completely satisfied, but when I glanced at Jasper's chest, lust shot through me. His toned abs and pecs were screaming at me to touch, and oh did I touch.

My hands trailed down his fuckawesome torso, but once I reached the waistband of his jeans my nerves decided to rear its unwanted head. I froze up and looked up at him through my lashes.

His gaze softened and he leaned down to press a kiss to my lips. All the passion, all the fervency was gone and in its place was content. I sighed against his lips and pulled away.

"Umm, that was, ugh, great," I muttered lamely. I felt like such a naïve girl. This guy just gave me the best orgasm in existence and I couldn't even properly give my thanks? Jeez, I was such a mega-bitch.

He laughed and shook his head, his curls bobbing around. He smiled wryly at me and told me, "Yeah, you look gorgeous when you cum."

At his words I blushed and duck my head, his laughter filling the quiet room. I couldn't believe he said that. Was I supposed to take that as a compliment? I envisioned myself with the face Andy Sandberg made when he jizzed in his pants. My nose scrunched up in disgust. I better not fucking look like that.

I was starting to get a little uncomfortable, thanks to my soaked panties. I liked the view above me, how could I not? A shirtless Jasper was a yummy Jasper. But I felt sticky and sweaty and just plain fucking nasty. The orgasm he gave me was epic beyond words, but the feeling I got after the big bang was gross. I had to stop complaining. I just had Jasper's hand in between my legs. That was enough. Or was it really?

No, it wasn't. I came here, planning to get some answers, but instead I got a pretty nice finger fuck and more unanswered questions. Where did this leave us now? Were we dating? Did Jasper want me to be his girlfriend? Was I even pretty enough? Why didn't he show up that day? But more importantly, was I getting played?

I ignored the pain in my chest at the last thought and lightly pushed Jasper's chest. He got the hint and rolled off of me. My eyes traveled down to my underwear and groaned when I realized that they were too damaged to wear. Great, now I really was a slut.

I brought my arm to my chest and tried to hide my boobs from Jasper's eyes. He was just staring stupidly at my slightly covered chest and it caused me to giggle. He groaned and his eyes were clenched close.

"Can you not do that. It's taking all of my strength to not drag you back to bed," Jasper said rapidly. I bit my lip and bent down to pick up my dress. There was a loud hiss and I blushed. I probably wasn't helping him at all.

Slipping on my dress, I excused myself to remove my undies in the restroom. Because everyone knew that underwear drowned in body fluids was absolutely sexy. I looked into the mirror over the sink and sighed.

My hair was a mess, it looked like Amy Winehouse's beehive hairdo, only a lot more nappier. The make-up Alice put on my face wasn't all that smudged, but it wasn't exactly perfect any longer. The one thing that made me really stare was the glow I seemed to have. I had that 'I've just been fucked' glow. Well, maybe more like the 'Jasper Whitlock finger banged me' glow. My smile faded when I realized we were going to have to talk once I got back.

No more tip-toeing around. No more distractions. Although I wouldn't really mind Jasper's blonde head in between my thighs. No, stop that. I was going to have to set my foot down and demand for some explanations. I spent too much time being butt-hurt over this whole thing.

With that goal in mind, I grabbed my gross panties and started to walk down the hall back to Jasper's room. I walked in and found him with his shirt back on. Well, that's a shame.

"I think we should talk." My arms crossed over my chest and my chin stuck out. That is until I saw that his eyes were solely trained on my wonderful rack. For future references, I knew this guy was a tit man.

I rolled my eyes and bent my knees and snapped my fingers. He looked guilty when he looked back at me. I walked over to my bag and slipped the drenched panties inside an empty pocket. Looked like I wasn't going to be using that bag any time soon.

I slowly walked over to Jasper's bed and sat at the end, putting a good space between us. I didn't want to be tempted to fall into a trap again. No sir, I wanted my answers.

"So…" I trailed off. Fuck, this was awkward. Now I knew why couples didn't really talk after having sex. Woah, we were not a couple…yet.

Jasper sighed while his hand ran through his hair. He focused on the wall behind him, but snapped back to my face with an unrecognizable emotion swirling in his eyes. "I'm sorry for not showing up. You probably think I'm this giant asshole and I ain't gonna disagree with you. Football practice was dragging on and I couldn't plead my way out of it. I feel like such a dick for standin' you up. I like you, Bella. I like you a lot. I know this is a shitty apology, but I hope you can forgive me for being such a dumbass."

My heart swelled in my chest when his words hit me. He liked me. He actually liked me. And he did want to show up, he just couldn't. I felt like jumping up and down in joy. Or flying to the moon. I was so ecstatic.

Biting my lip, I pushed a lock of hair behind my ear while rubbing my thumb across the bedspread. "It's okay. I understand how demanding a sport can be."

"No, it's not okay. I can't even believe you're forgivin' me for pullin' that shit. Why aren't you yellin' at me? I deserve some kind of ass-chewin'. I was wrong, I fucked up big time. I hurt you and you not screamin' at me is throwin' me for a loop. This acceptance is fuckin' killin' me." I let him rant for a couple minutes until all his self-loathing bullshit got annoying.

I huffed angrily and tugged on his hair to stop him from rambling on. Jasper looked surprised and he looked like he was prepared for the worst. Poor guy.

"I'm not going to lie to you. I was hurt that you strung me out like that." He tried to interrupt be, but I held up my hand; I wasn't finished. "If it wasn't for Alice I'd still be holed up in my bedroom and wondering what I did wrong."

A pained expression was on his face as he quickly told me, "You didn't do anything wrong."

I groaned in frustration and I scowled at him. "Just let me talk, okay." His embarrassed look was enough for me to continue. "I don't want you to beat yourself up for it. Things come up, and who am I to get mad over something you can't control? Just don't fucking do it again."

He smiled at my words and held out his pinky. My own pinky wrapped around his and he promised to never pull that shit again.

"I really am sorry." My eyes rolled on their own and I tugged his hair once more.

The silence wrapped around us comfortably, but there was still that tap-dancing neon green elephant in the room. Do I ask him the question that was haunting me the most? Was he even ready to answer it? Did I even want to know his answer? My mouth formed the words slowly. "I was just thinking…"

He scooted to where I was seated and tipped my chin up to look at him. A curious expression was on his gorgeous face, an eyebrow raised in question. Before he could speak, I cut him off and asked him what had been bugging me.

"Where does this leave us?" I blurted.

Jasper was shocked by my question and remained silent. He looked nervous and slightly conflicted. As the silence grew, so did my anxiety. I just fucked everything up. Great, Bella, just great. He admits to liking you and you just assume he wants to date you. Stupid, stupid.

My self-destructing ways were interrupted by Jasper's hand encasing mine. My head shot up and our eyes met. He was now radiating calm vibes, which in turn made me relax.

When he spoke, his words came out of his mouth very slowly, almost as if he wanted me to listen closely. "We should just see where fate takes us. I don't want to ruin anythin' by labelin' what we have."

I unconsciously rolled my eyes, but didn't sense my bullshit radar going off. Fate and relationship labels? I thought that only girls believed in Fate and relationship labels. I never though I'd be hearing Jasper talk about Fate and couple statuses.

"Never pegged you as a believer in fate," I teased him, a smirk appearing on my lips. He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

I glanced at the clock, groaning when I read the time. I got off Jasper's bed and stretched my arms above my head. My heels were close to the door and I bent to pick them up. I was about to slip them on when Jasper spoke.

"You're leavin'?" Jasper's head tilted to the side and a frown was on his face. I bit my lip and placed my shoes on his desk. I walked over to stand in front of him.

His hands went to rest on my hips and I sighed when I realized that my boobs were slightly in his face. A giggle spewed out my mouth when I caught him staring again.

"It's nearly six twenty. I do got homework, y'know."

The smile Jasper gave me made butterflies flutter in my stomach. I still couldn't believe he liked me. He really liked me. I was going to be thanking God today, even though I was an Atheist.

He stood up and I was back to being short. I barely reached his chest. How sad. "Okay, pretty girl. Let me lead you to your carriage," he shamelessly drawled while winking at me. I rolled my eyes before intertwining my fingers with his. I slipped on the heels and picked up my bag. He led me outside to his car, even opening the passenger door for me.

"Ah, how sweet, my very own Southern gentleman." My easy grin brought a smile to his face. Jasper's eyes twinkled at the overused cliché.

He rolled his eyes before bending down to kiss me. We pulled away from each other and I slipped into his awesome-smelling car. He walked to the driver side and pretty soon I was giving him directions to my house.

While listening to some Neil Young, he started to laugh at something. I glanced up at him curiously.

He smirked at me. "I just realized that you left my house without any panties, Missy." I blushed and ducked my head. He laughed even harder, but tightened his hold on my hand.

"Well underwear are just unnecessary," I said, shocking myself with my whore-ish comment. We were now parked in front of my house. Reluctantly I reached for the car door, but stopped when Jasper pulled on my hand.

Our lips molded together, sparks were flying, and I was falling for him even more. My hands wound in his hair and our noses bumped against each other. I pulled away with a gasp. I really had to go inside.

"See ya tomorrow, darlin'." With a goodbye and one last peck, I was getting out the car and walking up the porch steps. Once I unlocked the door, I turned back to the car and waved with a smile on my face. I saw him beam back at me, then drove away.

When I was sure he was gone, I threw my hands up in the air and did my own version of the Runningman. "He likes me!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

***~*What would I be without my wonderful fans? Yes, I'd be some weirdo with ideas threatening to cause an explosion in her cranium. Thanks so much to all those that read, add to their alerts/faves, and take time to review. Tell me what you think; I'm extremely paranoid about that lemon. See y'all next time.**

**~geek**


	11. Chapter 11

***~*Muchos gracias to Xo BellaItalia oX for pre-reading this chapter and tweaking those handful of mistakes. And I really want to thank every single one of you that reads, add to their alerts/faves, and reviews. You all rock my troll socks off. **

***~*If I owned Twilight would I be writing fanfiction?**

Two weeks passed by uneventfully. Well, not really. Alice was still hounding me for the full story on how Jasper and I resolved things. She was bitching and attempting to guilt trip me. I suggested to just wear a mic and make it easier on her. I was instantly scared when she smirked at me and thanked me for the idea. Since then, I have been on alert, bidding my time to see if she was actually going to slip some recorder into my hair.

Jasper and I were a little more complicated. We were friends, but in that 'will they, won't they' kind of mumbo jumbo. People at school have been asking me what was up with our new 'friendship.' My response either consisted of the one finger salute or the 'go fuck yourself sideways' speech. I personally liked doing both at the same time; it got the point across.

Today was Saturday and it was going to be full of girly bullshit. Yesterday, Alice coyly mentioned taking another shopping trip, but this time my mom signed herself up. Now let me clear something up, I love my mom, but she is way too pushy for my taste. I was pretty sure that I had a right to choose what I wanted to wear. This was America and I was pretty sure I had the right to express myself however I pleased.

I groaned when I felt my mattress dip repeatedly. The squeaking from the bed springs was giving me a headache. The giggling girl jumping on my bed was seriously asking for an early end to her life; not that I minded going to jail for murder. I'd probably get more sleep in prison than out here in the world full of demonic pixies.

"Bellaboo!" a high-pitched voice I was starting to hate, rang in my ears.

I huffed in frustration and put a pillow over my head. I could still hear the demon talking, but like hell I was going to get up. I didn't want to have girl bonding time. I wanted to bum it all day and wipe my Cheeto fingers on old sweats. Yeah, that was appealing.

The pillow was yanked away from my head, and the light blinded my eyes.

"Ah, it burns! I'm melting, I'm melting!" I whined as I threw myself off the bed and tried to slip under my bed for extra effects. Dramatic, but I didn't care.

Tink laughed at me while she flitted around my closet to pick something for me to wear. I hated when she did that. It made me feel like I was some oversized doll. Not a Barbie, because I didn't have the perfect body and perfect skin and hair and perfect smile and blah, blah, fucking blah. Yeah, I woke up on the wrong side of the country; not bed.

"Bella, you're mom's ready to go shopping. Oh, this is so great! She has a really good taste in fashion." Haha, she made me laugh. My mom had a membership for Hookers R Slores. I was kidding, she only shops at Stripperville Outlets.

"Alice," I groaned while kicking my feet up in the air and flopping on the ground like a fish. "I don't wanna go. Can't we stay in and watch Powder or Wizard of Gore? Hell, I'll even watch Sleeping Beauty if it gets me out of this shit." My mind melted at the thought of watching Disney. Real life didn't consist of singing animals and princes that woke you up from sleep spells. The evil witch concept was very debatable.

My own evil witch was shoving a floral dress in my hands. Her tiny hands went to her even tinier waist and she shook her head. Out of nowhere, her demeanor changed and a big smile lit up her face and she started to clap her baby hands. I eyed her warily and slowly sat up. She ran to my closet and threw me some jeans and a Bob Dylan shirt. I smiled at the faded tee, remembering the day I bought it, which was like three years ago.

I quickly stood and ran to the bathroom to change before she changed her mind. I absolutely loved this shirt and I was not going to risk the idea being revoked. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and managed to comb out all the knots in my hair as fast as I could. When I walked out the bathroom, I heard my mom's bubbly laughter in my room. I backpedaled in to the bathroom and took my time to rebrush the strands of hair I might have passed. I knew it was silly, but I really, really didn't want to go. I was tempted to call Jasper and ask him to pick me up. We could watch Powder or Donnie Darko. Or we could make out. God, I had to stop thinking about that.

The knock at the door and the gruff voice was a signal to come out of hiding. I jumped off the counter and unlocked the door. I stared up at my father, who had this super smug smile on his face.

"Have a good time, wonderful daughter of mine." That actually meant, "hope your mom has fun torturing you."

I had a mean father. My face probably looked all morphed up and crazy, because I pursed my lips and glared a him through slits.

"Yeah, I'll see if I could find a Yankees hat." What I was really saying was- nah, I meant what I said. Epic Daddy over here always went into a rage at the slightest mention of the Yankees. He knew they were a beast team, but he still cheered for the Mariners.

My dad scowled at me and I laughed. I reached up to kiss his cheek and ignored his comment about my shortness. It wasn't my fault my mom and dad's height averaged out to five foot four inches. Besides, I wasn't short, I was fun sized.

I walked back to my room and saw that my mom was actually dressed in a shirt that hid those melons of hers.

Alice beamed at me. "Just grab a sweater and some shoes, then we're on our way." Her peppiness was too much for this time of day. Her cheerleader attitude was too much for my desolate thoughts.

I nodded and picked a random sweater from my closet. Superman shield. I smiled wryly at the giant 'S' on my chest. I slipped on some red Chuck's, loving the way the shoes wrapped around my feet.

My mom screamed and I fell to the ground in shock. I glanced up at her in alarm.

"I forgot to make banana pancakes for my Belly-welly," she said in a baby voice while pinching my cheek. I glared at her and stood up. Alice was laughing at me, saying how funny my face looked. Yeah, well, your face is gonna look a hundred times funnier.

Once I grabbed my phone, we were on our merry way to Seattle. It was a good thing I brought my iPod, because music was crap nowadays. We were about halfway to Seattle when my epic Christian Bale ringtone rang out in the car. Even with my earphones I could hear his rant. I laughed and pulled out my phone.

_what r u doin darlin?~ J_

I filled him in with my plans for the day, which weren't all that interesting to a guy. Moments after I sent him the message, his reply came and it made me laugh.

_no invite? that really hurts my feelings~ J_

**guess the invite got lost in the mail~ B**

I fell asleep while waiting for his text and didn't wake up till we got to Seattle. I didn't bother sending a reply, it would make me seem dependent on him. No, I would look too desperate and clingy. Nobody liked clingy.

My mom held up a dress with holes in the side. Ugh, not again.

"Bella, try this!"

"No way, Jose!" I replied.

Alice skipped over to me and pulled me toward the back of the store. She stopped in front of a display of jumpers and blazers. There was this military green jumper that I liked, but Tink pointed out an ugly floral one.

"Oh, oh! I found something that is totes cute." I bit my lip and pointed to the jumper I wanted.

Alice glanced at it and gasped. "That is way cuter." Well, she was boring me to death.

I walked away from the back, but not before hearing some girl in a changing room say, 'My ass looks bigger than the sun.' That actually made me snort and roll my eyes.

"Please, my brain is now the size of Uranus." I laughed at my own joke. I was hilarious.

We left that store after purchasing a few things and now were in some other store.

I was walking around aimlessly, trying my best to avoid my mother and Alice at all costs. Now, they were using the double team strategy against me. It just wasn't fair. Fuck, my mom was right there. I tried to scurry away, but she already saw me. I groaned and waited for her to come closer.

"Oh, try this, Bella! It goes perfectly with your creamy complexion." my mom told me, a floral dress in her hands. I blushed at her words and walked back to the band shirts.

I gasped enthusiastically when I found a Blondie tee. Alice popped up from thin air and tapped my shoulder. I shrieked, clutched my heart, and tried to fix her with a glare. She giggled and showed me some electric blue pants. I nodded without thinking and looked back up at the wall of shirts. Hmm, go with Blondie or with Jimmy Eat World.

"Blondie's a chick band. I'd choose Jimmy Eat World," a familiar, deep voice rang out. I whipped around, glancing up at my muscle-y friend. Or was it ex-friend now? Who gave a shit? Emmett was in Seattle and I had to look out for Rose.

My eyes scanned the store, but didn't catch golden hair anywhere. I sighed in relief. My eyes went back up to the giant in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not caring about my bitchy tone of voice.

Emmett flashed me a grin and shrugged one massive shoulder. He flashed his dimples and part of my iciness melted. He had me wrapped around his finger, that one. Of course, not as tightly as Jasper, but whatever.

"You and Rose fell out. She's so depressed lately and you're hanging out with Alice and my boy, Jasper, now."

One of my eyebrows rose and I motioned for him to get to the point. Everything he was saying was facts. Concrete facts and shit. If he wanted some answers he was gonna have to ask.

"Why aren't you talking to her? She's really hurt that you're talking to pixie over there." His chin jutted out and I turned around. Alice was flirting with one of the sales' clerk. I smirked at the dazed look he had. I turned back to Emmett, a mask now in place.

"She never cared to visit when I was sick. And who cares if I'm hanging out with Alice? She's actually a nice person." I replied fiercely.

Emmett snorted and glanced down at me. His eyebrows scrunched together as his eyes raked my face. He gave me a goofy smile, making me apprehensive. He was up to something.

"What do you want?" I spat.

He pouted pathetically and placed his large hands on my shoulder. The puppy eyes he pointed at me were just sad.

"Just talk to her. My case of blue balls is so serious, even Pastor Weber is gonna tell Rose it's a sin to withhold me from sex for so long!"

I snorted at this. Only Emmett would say chastity was a sin. He was always such a horny guy. I mean, he was glued to Rosalie's mouth twenty-four seven. Sadly for him, his lack of getting laid wasn't my problem. I was getting fucked by an amazing guy. My horn dog friends just had to suck it up.

"Oh yay! After we sip tea and catch up with her we could sit around the campfire and sing 'kum ba ya'. That's your stupidest idea to date, Emmett." I retorted scathingly.

His lip jutted out a little more and I smirked at him. I wasn't going to give in and he knew that, so why was he even trying. She didn't want to talk to me. Well, neither did I. She was a frigid bitch anyway.

Then out of nowhere his face lost all emotion. Emmett was now staring at me with despair. He smiled sadly at me before nodding his head. I was about to reply when Alice waltzed over and grabbed my hand, spouting some shit about a shirt she wanted me to try on. I didn't have it in me to tell her I didn't want another top.

Alice's eyes went to Emmett and she smirked as she said, "Come on, Bella. We can't waste time on a guy who knows nothing aside from getting in between his girlfriend's legs." I was shell-shocked, but what shocked me the most was the satisfaction I got from Emmett's hurt and furious expression. One point for Alice. Zero points for Emmett.

***~*Bella's ringtone is actually Christian Bale ranting on the set of Terminator. There is now a POLL up on my profile. Make sure to vote because if there's not enough votes, I probably won't do the Jasper POV outtakes. I already have a couple ideas, but I want to know if you want to get all up in his psyche, so VOTE! Teasers for those that review.**

**~geek**


	12. Chapter 12

***~*Thanks to those reviewers, readers, and those that add the fic to their alerts & faves. Your kind words and awesome support keep me going. **

***~*Nah, I don't own Twilight. **

I glanced across the lunchroom out of boredom. Alice decided to take the day off and get some manicure with her mother. To say that I was shocked that she was even spending time with her would be an understatement. I couldn't wrap my head around their relationship. One second Alice's crying out for a better mother and the next she's gossiping with mum dearest while getting their nails done together. It just made no sense.

My eyes landed on the power couple of the century. They were playing tonsil hockey, like always, and were too busy wrapped up in Let's-exchange-spit-land to notice me staring at them. Alice probably hit the nail on the head with that snide comment regarding Emmett and Rosalie's sex life. Could he not live without swapping germs with her for a day? Ha, not freakin' possible.

Alice kept on deflecting my questions concerning her hatred toward Emmett. She would simply say 'no comment' or insult him under her breath, thinking I would drop it. I haven't, and don't plan to. There had to be a reason why Alice didn't like Emmett and Rosalie. Well, I sort of had an idea why she wasn't so fond of Rosalie.

Legend had it that Mrs. Brandon and Mrs. Hale were friends back in the olden days, but friendship evolved into rivalry when a beauty pageant came between them. Can you guess who was crowned as the Beauty Queen? Yup, none other than Gwyneth Lynn, or as we all know her now, Gwyneth Hale.

The accuracy of this story is questionable considering I have never seen any of Mrs. Hale's trophies and I've been in the Casa de Hale countless times. Surely I would've seen those glittery sashes and plastic tiaras stashed somewhere. Or maybe the Hale's had some hidden compartment I wasn't aware of. Whatever, it would explain Rosalie's pretty face and frigid personality.

My eyes fluttered closed, but snapped open when I felt my hair gently being tugged. I looked up and saw Jasper curling strands of my hair around his finger. I smiled lazily at him and rested my head atop my arm. We had fallen into this borderline friends with benefits column and I guess it was an okay thing. Yeah, I wanted an actual relationship with him, but that would require me to go out on a limb. If you haven't noticed, I am a total coward. And what?

"How's life, B?" The smile he flashed me dazed me so much that I was left staring like some moron with one brain cell left.

When he tugged on my hair, I snapped out of my little haze and focused on what he was saying. Something about replacing his guitar strings and buying new drumsticks. Not the most interesting topic coming out of his mouth, but it was better than him ignoring me.

I hummed in all the right places and bopped my head to affirm any 'yes or no' question he would ask me. To an onlooker, it would look like he was annoying me or something like that, but in all honesty, I was still a little nervous around him. Word vomit was my main worry whenever I was around him. What if some humiliating secret tumbled from my lips on accident? Or what if I told him that I loved him? Nope, not gonna happen.

"Are you sick, or somethin'?" His warm hand pressed against my forehead and I giggled at his concern.

I pulled his hand away from my face, lightly squeezing his fingers, before taking a bite out of my chicken Caesar salad. Alice was kicking me back in shape; I wasn't sure if I should be thankful or hurt. At least she cared enough to help me trim down a little.

"Nope just a little tired." It wasn't a complete lie, my peppy mother forced me to stay up and watch the _Jersey Shore _with her. I could now say that I am glad I live in the depressing state of Washington and not in New Jersey with all the 'gorillas' and 'grenades'.

Jasper waggled his eyebrows before saying, "Well, Miss Bella, sleep is somewhat lackluster when you compare it to the other activity most teenagers do." My ultra-pervy mind instantly caught on to what he was implying and I blushed. He probably thought I was boning someone last night.

I blushed even more and opened my mouth. "I-I was actually watching _Jersey Shore _with my mom. I really didn't want to watch it and I felt my brain melting the whole time. Did you know they actually do their own laundry? I mean, who would've known? I wouldn't that's for sure. I have to do the laundry at home. I hate it when I have to wash my mom's lacey bras and g-strings. Oh my god!" I slapped my hand over my mouth and stared wide-eyed at the silent boy across from me.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Word fucking vomit. Kill me now, baby Jesus. Don't shut up. No filter whatsoever. Spew random words out of my mouth. Way to fucking go. Fucking kill me now with a paper clip.

The silence was so horrible. I felt like I was about to be chastised for speaking of my mom's drawers. His face was impassive for a few minutes, and then it was like a dam broke when he started laughing. My face must have been so red from the blushing; this was so embarrassing. His loud laughs were attracting the students' eyes and I just wanted to hide in some hole and never come out. He was laughing at me.

I sunk low in my seat, wanting anything to just disappear. Jasper's face had a red tinge to it from all the laughter. His curls bouncing around his face as his body shook. He clenched the table and wrapped an arm around his abdomen.

His chuckles and guffaws were starting to grate on my nerves, so I picked up my tray, threw my bag's strap over my shoulder, and walked away. I forcefully tossed my lunch into the bin before bursting the cafeteria doors open.

With a light tug to my hair, I made my way to the library. The librarian, Mrs. Weber, smiled at me and tried to initiate some conversation about Jane Austin. Normally I would have conversed with Mrs. Weber, but I was feeling like shit and I needed some gothic shit. Like Nabokov or Stephen King, anything to get my mind off my horrific slip up.

"I have something to do, Mrs. Weber." I sounded like such a bitch.

Mrs. Weber tightly smiled at me, the hurt evident in her eyes. I felt like a pile of shit. This kind woman didn't deserve my foulness. Snappish Bella had to go back inside her shell. Apologize, you dumb fuck.

"Sorry, Mrs. Weber. I've just had my decent day turn into a pile of stinking sh- I mean, poop." Her approving smile lifted my spirits a little.

She shooed me away with a simple "that's okay, my dear" and went back to reading _The Great Gatsby_. Ah, such a timeless classic.

I slowly made my way to the back of the library, towards my hidden corner. I sunk down on the chair and pulled out _Lolita _from my bag. Humbert was such a pedo. I wouldn't be shocked if he was in some kind of cahoots with Pedobear. I giggled at the thought of a fifty-some year old talking to a bear. I come up with the stupidest shit ever.

The chair across from me was suddenly pulled out and my eyes snapped up at the culprit. Jasper stared back at me, amusement dancing in his eyes. I groaned and hid my face with my book, my blush returning.

He chuckled softly. "Relax, darlin'. I got it all out my system." I peeked at him over the book, only for him to snatch the book away and press his lips against mine. Well, color me surprised.

His hand lightly gripped the back of my head as his teeth lightly nipped my bottom lip. Just as I was getting into the kiss, he pulled away and his lips went near my ear. He placed a gentle kiss below my ear before whispering, "Go on a date with me."

I had to be dreaming. A date? With Jasper Whitlock? Not possible in a millennium. Not likely. Hell had officially frozen over. A date? Me? Him?

"Ah." Apparently he took away my ability to form a proper sentence, too.

Jasper smiled and nodded, his hand cupping my cheek. I bit my lip as I contemplated it. Oh hell. What was there to contemplate? Jasper was asking me out on a date, an once-in-a-lifetime thing. It was like a shooting star, you might only see it once. So I agreed and his smile made my stomach clench in knots. What was he doing to me?

My hand was in his as he pulled me out the library and toward the parking lot. I stopped walking when reality hit me hard. He actually wanted to go right now. What the hell? I had classes to attend, thank you very much. I thought he wanted to go on a date sometime _after_ school, not in the middle of lunch. He was just full of a bunch of surprises.

"C'mon, Bella. My car's this way," Jasper said, his hand still wrapped around mine. I shook my head as my bottom lip went in between my teeth.

I glanced up at him. "We're skipping school?" I quietly asked. He frowned and scratched the back of his head with the hand I wasn't holding.

Blonde curls bopped up and down along with his head. He squeezed my hand while telling me, "Don't worry about it. I seriously doubt you will get behind in any of your classes. You are a genius." I rolled my eyes at the compliment, but I nodded. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. There goes my good girl title.

An hour later and he was still driving to this mystery place. I kept bugging him for answers, but he wouldn't budge. Then he started to state a bunch of facts about the Rolling Stones. Judging by the facts he was throwing out there he must really like them Stones.

"Jasper," I whined, "are we there yet?"

"No."

I groaned before asking my previous question again, much to his annoyance. Oh well. I couldn't stay in a car for so long without becoming impatient. Maybe I had ADHD. Nah, nevermind. I'd be like Alice and jump all over my room like I was some sugar addict high out of her mind.

Trees and more trees was all I saw. I wasn't even sure we were still in Forks. Yeah, Forks was a tiny ass town, but the town we were in should have been called Bumfuck, Washington.

Jasper pulled into some car lot, parking the car before looking over to me excitedly. I looked out the window and saw some dingy brick building, the sign already falling off and the bricks crumbling away. What the fuck? This was where our first date was going to be? Classy.

I slowly, and by slowly I mean grandma-like slow, walked out the car. The cold air hit my face and I was relieved I actually listened to my mom and triple-layered today. My eyes inspected the little building. A restaurant-slash-bar by the name of Johnny's. I thought this was classy before, oh this was fucking six star dining. Especially since the N's on the sign were nowhere in sight and the J was on its way to plummeting to the ground.

My hand intertwined with Jasper's and curiosity seeped inside me. This place must be important if Jasper brought me during school. I couldn't see why it would be so significant other than the vintage look it had.

We walked toward the dingy restaurant, my heart beating in my chest and butterflies fluttering in my stomach. When we walked in, a loud bang issued throughout the place, making me jump in shock. Jasper acted like nothing happened, instead leading me to a table towards the back. Of course it would be in the back. Of course it would be somewhere far from Forks. He didn't want us to be seen together.

Very bummed out, I sank into my seat, soaking in the dingy room. It was painted a dark maroon, or maybe that was blood, and you could see the cracks and chips in the paint job. The bar looked old and worn down, along with the dusty floors. The only thing that added pizzazz to this joint was the white Christmas lights hanging on the walls. It gave the room a romantic aura, which was a lot weird considering we were in a bar.

Jasper's eyes were trained on me while I was surveying the premises. He was so full of hope that I would like this place that I didn't have it in me to tell him how grimy the place looked.

A man walked up to our table while yelling, "Hey, hey!"

He looked to be around his late thirties, with sandy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. He was tall, most likely six feet, and had a fair complexion. His eyes twinkled when he saw Jasper and I could see just a tiny hint of mischief in them when he glanced at me.

Jasper stood up to give the stranger a hug and that was when I saw the similarities between the two. Their nose and eyes shaped match perfectly. Either this was Mr. Whitlock or Jasper's brother.

"How have you been man?" Jasper's possible relative said when the hug ended.

I could see both their eyes flicker over to me and I blushed. The stranger laughed when he saw my blush and stuck out his hand for me to shake. I did and as we shook hands he introduced himself as Jasper's uncle, Johnny. Guess I was sort of right about being related to each other.

My fingers pushed back a strand of hair as I told him my name. Jasper sat back down as his uncle started to babble on about his wife, which was Jasper's aunt. I didn't pay much attention to the conversation since I was butt hurt that Jasper would resort to going to a faraway restaurant just to not be seen with me. Was I that embarrassing?

"So, Bella," Johnny says, efficiently breaking me out of my sad thoughts. "You're the first girl Jazz brought here. You must be really special." I hastily looked up to meet Johnny's eyes. Was he being cereal?

Jasper groaned his uncle's name before throwing me an apologetic look. Don't know why he was sorry. His uncle just told me I was the only girl Jasper has brought here. That made my day. "Seriously, Uncle Johnny you had to go and say that?"

Johnny winked at me and retorted, "She's a cutie pie, Jazz. Where'd you find her."

I laughed while shaking my head. I think I liked Johnny, even if he shamelessly complimented me. Nothing like compliments to boost up my self esteem. "Last time I checked I wasn't declared missing." The words fumbled out my mouth and I giggled at Jasper's shocked face.

I smiled at the man standing in front of the table and took a sip of my Code Red. Ugh, that tasted really good. "Treat this one right, Jasper. She's a peach." And with that said, Jasper's uncle winked at me then walked away after clasping Jasper on the back. Jasper's sheepish grin caused me to laugh at him.

"Yeah, Jas, treat me right or I'm gonna leave," I tried to imitate a Texan accent and failed to an extreme.

We laughed together, his bass drowning out my slight soprano. "That was the most terrible accent I have ever heard in my life, darlin'."

A bright blush filled my cheeks and my eyes darted to the wood table. Damn, I just made a fool myself. Great fucking job, Bella. Now he's never going to want to date you. Wait, this was a date. Duh. Gosh, I was a dumbass.

Warm fingers lightly gripped my chin, tilting my head up to look at him. His pretty green eyes were radiating joy and something else I couldn't quite place. A small smile played at his lips and a golden curl was in his face. Every time he would push it back it would spring back to its original spot in between his eyes. I found it adorable.

"I like you, Bella. Horrible accents and all." And that folks, was the sweetest thing a boy has ever said to me.

The rest of the date blurred and pretty soon we were waving goodbye to Johnny and heading back to our wonderful, wonderful town.

My head was against the headrest when Jasper commented on how easily conversation for Johnny and I flowed. Maybe it was just his flirtatiousness and my sarcasm that mixed up. Whatever it was it made Jasper happy. Why? Who knew, but a happy Jasper was a handsy Jasper. And I liked a handsy Jasper.

A couple minutes later and Jasper was pulling into my driveway. It was now five o'clock and I was relieved my mom wasn't here. She would be demanding every single thing. Shyly glancing at Jasper, I take his face in my hands and kiss him. It was a light kiss that ended too soon for my liking. I could spend all day kissing Jasper, even if I would die of lack of nutrients. His lips were just so soft.

"See you on Monday." I whisper against his lips. He said goodbye and with one last kiss, I was out the car and forcing the key in my door. A full ten minutes after Jasper left and realization sunk in, I squealed obnoxiously, not even giving a shit how much I sounded like Alice. Speaking of Alice, she didn't even call today.

I sighed before fishing out my phone from my pocket. I flipped it open and dialed Alice's number. While waiting for her to answer, I chewed on my nails and jumped from one foot to the other. She was going to ask for all the details, I just knew it.

After the fourth ring I was about to give up when she answered in a breathy voice. "Hello."

"Hey Alice, guess what happened today?" Excitement crept up in my body, it was nearly bursting inside me. I wanted to scream from the rooftops.

There was a groan in the background and I instantly blushed. I just called her in the middle of her having sex. Shoot me.

Alice moaned and took in a deep breath before whispering something I couldn't quite hear. "Listen Bella I have to call...umm later."

I bit my lip and nodded. "Okay, Alice-" then the line went dead, but not before I heard her yell 'Jas'. Please tell me I heard it all wrong.

***~*Dun dun dun. So the poll is now closed and the winner of the outtake in JPOV is 'The Time At Band Camp'. It shall be up in a week or so, depending how fast I get it edited and stuff. Speaking of editing, this chapter was not pre-read or anything cause I was in a rush to update, so point out any grammar mistakes and I'll fix them. Tell me what you thought, please. **

**~geek**


	13. Chapter 13

***~*Here to answer a question some people asked. How far does Alice live from Bella's house? About twenty minutes away when driving the speed limit. Now, drive over the speed limit in a Chevelle and you just might get there in less than ten minutes. Time frame is whacked up, I know.**

***~*Don't own.**

The phone slipped from my shaking hand and tumbled to the floor. I stared at my Woodstock poster, my mind blank and every one of my nerves on edge. I must have heard her wrong. There was no way Jasper could get to her house so fast. No way. We just came back from a date fifteen minutes ago and Alice's house was twenty minutes away. The chance of him getting to her house in ten minutes was so fucking unlikely. He really couldn't drive that fast. Right?

What if he did get to her house in that short amount of time? What if he was actually fucking her? What if, what if...

No, he liked me. He liked me, not her. I saw his uncle for fuck's sake. That must have meant something to him. And I was the only girl to ever have a date with him in that dinky restaurant. Or was I? Was Johnny lying to get Jasper some brownie points? No, no.

Maybe I did hear her wrong. What if Alice was going to say 'Jackson' or 'Justin'? Yeah, that was it. She would never betray me like that. She knew how much I liked Jasper. She was my friend and actually cared about me. Why would I ever think she was sneaking behind my back with Jasper? She was my friend. Friends would never do that.

Besides, Jasper wouldn't just toy with me like that. He was sweet and charming and this just wasn't happening to me. My friend was not boning my almost boyfriend. I had all of this wrong. I was imagining things. Yes that was definitely it.

All of the repetitive thoughts swirling in my brain were giving me a headache, and my eyes stung from my lack of blinking. I stiffly sat down on my bed, taking a deep breath as I did so.

There was no need for me to get so worked up over something that was all in my head. It wasn't true. I heard her wrong. She was a friend. She knew what it would do to me if she actually did sneak around with Jasper. She knew I loved him so why was I so worried about her being with him?

Because she was gorgeous and I was just some plain girl that couldn't stop cramming food in my mouth. Because she was skinny and I was an overfed cow. Her life was better than mine, even though her parents were utter assholes. Because I knew that Jasper would go for a girl like her. Because he wanted a beautiful model with amazing tits and a flat tummy, not some spaz-tastic drummer with a weight problem.

A single tear fell from my eye as thunder rumbled outside my window. Worthlessness was now my best pal and I hated it. I wish this shitty feeling would go away. I didn't want to feel like the girl who couldn't live with a little rejection. But then again, I was the girl who couldn't handle Jasper's rejection. The weak girl who got hate mail taped on her windshield and had a panic attack over it. Fuck this shit.

I angrily wiped my eyes before walking over to my desk. I rummaged through the top drawer in search of the 'fan mail' I received not too long ago. Insignificant papers were scattered around the floor by the time I finally found the bastard note. As I scanned the wrinkled note in between my fingers, I felt my anger rise to unimaginable limits. Then I snapped.

With a rage-filled cry, I tore the note into pieces, throwing the scraps of paper on the ground. I screamed as I stomped on the ruined note, all the while cursing at the top of my lungs. Books on my desk were hurled across the room and essays were torn into shreds. The framed picture of younger versions of me and Rosalie was tossed out the window and somewhere inside the forest. "Fuck," I shouted while destroying the objects in my room. Everything and anything was smashed. The clock, my laptop, my clothes, my song journal, my drawings, even the china doll my grandmother left me. Nothing was left untouched in my fit of rage.

My chest heaved as I threw a vase at the wall, the shattered pieces falling atop an open book. A sob fell from my lips and I crumpled to the floor, my chin resting on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. Shards of glass cut my bare feet, and I welcomed the sting. The pitter-patter of rain hitting the windowsill reached my ears, and I fell asleep soon after the rain picked up.

I groaned when I woke up, the sore muscles aching as I stretched. Groggily looking around, I took in the mess I made last night. Pictures were strewn on the ground, bits of furniture were scattered here and there. A tornado must have caused all this shit. A hand ran through my tangled hair and I slowly stood, wincing when a large piece of glass entered the heel of my right foot. Hopping on one foot to the bathroom, I listened for any sign of my parents.

Sighing in relief when I heard nothing, I sat on the toilet and assessed my injury. Blood was already leaking out of my wound and dripping down to the tiled floor. After psyching myself up for a minute or two, I yanked the glass out of my skin, whimpering at the pain. Blood gushed out and I quickly placed my hand over the cut. The grueling process of cleaning out my gash only took a minute. Taking a shower was hard work, considering how I had to stick my foot in the air to keep it away from the water.

I dressed quickly, picking random clothes from the ground. My foot ached when I slipped on my shoes, so I ended up wearing my ugly ass Ugs. As if I had I didn't have enough things to be teased about. Shaking that thought out of my head, I slammed my car door shut and turned on my car. Gripping the steering wheel tightly, my mind wandered back to last night. I was going to have to ask Alice who she was with last night, even if her answer killed me. I had to know if Jasper was just playing me. My ego would take a major hit if he was with Alice, but I crossed my fingers that I would get over it.

The song "Rolling in the Deep" suddenly blasted from my speakers and I groaned. Yes, I really needed Adele complaining about her failed relationship. I knew my situation was all kinds of fucked up, but I didn't need songs to go along with my misery. I didn't even like this song.

When I got to school, I realized that I had already missed the first bell. Slowly parking my car and gathering all of my things, I made my way to my first class, shades covering my eyes. I probably looked like an asshole wearing these sunglasses, but I knew I looked like a pile of steaming shit. I wasn't in the mood to be criticized over something as insignificant as my wardrobe.

My English teacher wasn't too happy about my sudden appearance and he told me to write a poem on tardiness. I rolled my eyes at his lame assignment and sat down in an empty seat. Ice Queen was sitting directly in front of me, and I inwardly groaned at my luck. Wasn't I suffering enough? This bullshit with Alice and Jasper was wearing me out to a fucking extreme. I wasn't sure if I could deal with Rosalie at the moment.

I ended up sleeping through the class, not because I wanted to avoid her, but because I had to give my brain some rest. Obsessing over Jasper and Alice's possible fuck session wasn't really something I should keep doing.

Classes went by slowly, teachers kept droning on and on about college requirements and some more stupid shit. I kept dozing off in my classes, much to my teachers' annoyance. Fuck them. I had more important shit to stress out about.

As I walked into the noisy lunchroom, my eyes immediately searched the room for Alice. She was sitting on a boy's lap, a smile on her face as she played with his hair. But this boy wasn't just any boy. No, no, no. The boy she was sitting on wasn't really her boy because that boy was my boy.

I saw red, my hands balled into fists at my sides and I was dying to kick the shit out of this bitch. Who the fuck told her she could throw herself at him? I sure as hell didn't. I could've have sworn that there was some fucking girl code for this shit. What happened to the 'thou must never steal a sista's man candy' commandment? This bitch seriously thought she could rub her manicured fingers all over my Jasper. Fuck this shit. Someone hold my fucking earrings.

Jasper suddenly patted Alice's thigh, leaning in to whisper something in her ear. My heart detonated when she giggled at whatever he told her. She elegantly stood from his lap, tugging on a curl as he stood and walked away. He didn't even see me standing there.

I watched him leave, my heart plummeting with each step he took. What did I do wrong?

I choked back a sob and looked back at Alice. She was staring at me, a smirk on her lips. She must find my misery humorous. My strides to her table were long and deliberate, anger pumping in my system.

When I reached the table, her hand ran through her hair and a look of boredom crossed her face. She fake yawned, a sparkle in her eyes and said, "Oh hey Bellsie-poo."

"What the fuck was that?" I spat, malice coating each word.

Her high-pitched giggle traveled over the wide expanse of the room, causing heads to turn in our direction. She just lived for fucking attention. I slammed my hand on the table. Her giggles came to a halt and she grabbed my wrist with strength I didn't even know she had.

Alice sneered at me, her grey eyes hardening and turning a gunmetal color. "Bella, I wouldn't cause a scene if I were you. Think about it. Would Jasper want an attention whore for a girlfriend?"

My mouth fell open in shock at her words. How could she be so mean? After I listened to her complaints and sympathized with her? She just had to throw Jasper in my face. She was my friend. Or was she ever my friend to begin with?

With a hiss, I wretched my wrist free from her hand and glared at her. This wasn't the Alice I liked. No, this was fucking Mary Alice Brandon, bitch ass cunt extraordinaire. This was the Alice that tortured me my whole life. This was the Alice that was now sinking her claws in my Jasper. She was ruining everything.

"You know I like him," I whispered brokenly, pleading with my eyes for some remorse from her. She laughed in my face, sinking down in her chair and taking a nail file out from her butt pocket.

She filed down her nails and spoke. "Bellsie-poo, don't get mad. Jasper and I…have history together. That Maria story was all a cover up." She glanced up at me while using the nail filer to point to herself. "I'm 'Maria'. We've been fucking since last year. I would've thought that your stupid ass would've figured that out. Anyway, Jasper has always been mine, even when he decided to stick his dick inside your nasty, herpes-infested vagina."

Her words weren't making any sense and I was staring at her, my mouth gaping and my eyes bulging out of my head. No, no. She was lying. He liked me. He liked me. Not her. Not this two-faced sociopath. He…he couldn't like her. I was the one he liked. Me. Not her. Never her. She was lying.

Alice giggled and cooed as if speaking to a baby. She touched my hand, causing me to flinch away from her. She rolled her eyes before continuing to file her nails.

"If you don't believe me go ask your Jazzy. I'm sure he'll try to feed you this Hollywood story, but he just wants to let you down easily. Besides, would I lie to you, Bellsie-poo? You're my best friend." An innocent smile was plastered on her lips and I shuddered. She was lying. She was crazy. I had to go. I had to find Jasper and demand answers. These had to be lies. She was an insane bitch.

Moisture prickled at the corners of my eyes, but I refused to let her see my tears. She would probably get some sick satisfaction from my pain. I glared at the bitch, wanting to punch her in the mouth so badly. Just one punch. It wouldn't hurt one bit. She wouldn't even feel it. Just punch her.

I shook my head, frowning when she started singing contently. "Bellsie-poo. How are you? I stole your boy away. He really is a great lay. Never meant to really brag, you were always a real drag. So go lose a little weight and maybe Jasper'll ask you out on another date."

Fury washed over me and I made a move to punch her, but she dodged my hit. She lightly slapped me on the cheek, giggling and humming the rhyme over and over. She was being so cruel. What did I ever do to her? Nothing. So why was she being such a bitch? Why would she sleep with Jasper? Why, why, why god damnit?

"Did you fuck him last night?" I hissed, my fist ready to smash her face in.

She laughed loudly while taking her seat, her focus back on her nails. "Bellsie-poo, lemme tell you. I never saw Jasper so keyed up. What did you do to him? I mean, thanks for getting him so horny. He fucked me so hard I couldn't move for hours. That boy is like the Energizer Bunny. He keeps cumming and cumming and cumming and cumming."

I shrieked and slammed my fist on the hardwood table. She yelped at my sudden move and sneered at me, but didn't say anything. "Fuck you, Alice. I thought I could trust you, but you're nothing but a two-faced, good-for-nothing whore. Before I fuck your ass up, tell me why you did this shit."

Her skinny finger went under her chin and she clucked her tongue. "Hmm he is pretty cute, has a nice ass if you ask me. I don't know Bella, you should stake your claim on that boy before some new girl in town steals him from you." I glared at my fake ass friend, my nails digging into my wrists to stop myself from throttling the pint-sized girl across from me. No, I didn't ask if he had a nice ass.

She glanced away from her nails and stared at me, bursting into laughter when she saw my glare. I couldn't see how this was funny. She was staring at my man's ass. Hell to the fucking no.

I stared up at Alice, one eyebrow arched and determination radiating inside me. "Well, that's not going to happen. He knows how I feel and if you excuse me I'm going to find out he feels about me, too."

I walked out the lunchroom in search of Jasper. The car park was my first guess and I was heading over there when I was pulled into an empty classroom. I was pinned to the door, familiar soft lips on mine. The heady cologne engulfing me left me lightheaded, and I was struggling to clear away the lust settling inside me. A hand gripped my hair and a tongue slipped past my lips. That was when things got clearer for me. That was when I pushed against his hard chest and slapped him across the face, the sound echoing in the room.

My eyes met those familiar ones that made my heart skip a beat. I let out a sob when I took in the hurt look on his face. His hand cupped his already-reddening cheek, anguish and despair shining in his eyes.

"Bella?" Jasper whispered.

I made a move to slap him again, but he caught my wrist before I made contact with his cheek. The scream I omitted caused him to release my hand in a flash. "What? You go and fuck around and you think I'll still want you?"

The guilty expression on his face was proof that he was fucking her. He wasn't loyal. He never cared. Not enough anyway. I was so fucking stupid. So stupid to ever think that he would want me enough to make him his girl. Hollywood stories were easily bought and I was another purchaser. He tricked me, but I was dumb and believed that love would surface. It didn't and I was crushed.

I cried, not caring that he would see my tears, and covered my mouth with my hand. Jasper's head snapped up and his eyes met mine once again. He took a step forward and I cowered against the door, looking away from his face. He sighed, but stayed away from me.

"I'm sorry…I wasn't thinking. She called me during our date and I just…we had a relationship before and I still love her." I cried out and hugged an arm against my chest, trying to hold it all in.

Blinking past the tears, I shook my head and stared at Jasper. Alice wasn't just some booty call. She was the girl he loved. I was just his play toy he messed around with for kicks. He didn't love me, but he loved her. It was always her.

I couldn't take this. Not now, and not ever.

I reached behind me, twisting the doorknob. Jasper's hand wrapped around my arm and I smacked his hands away. My fist went flying at his face, connecting with his jaw. He grunted, causing me to smirk at him. At least he could be in pain.

He held onto his jaw, frustration and anger written all over his face. He wasn't beautiful anymore to me. He was just some chauvinistic pig that didn't care for me. He used me. He hurt me and I wasn't sure if I could forgive him for that. Maybe I didn't want to forgive him.

I jabbed the middle of his chest with my finger, words tumbled out of my mouth furiously. "You don't get to touch me. Not anymore. You fucked Alice, my supposed friend. You fucked her before and you sure as hell didn't tell me you loved her. When were you going to tell me?" No response. "That's right. I wasn't supposed to know. Plan 'keep Bella as stupid as possible' didn't work as expected. Well, fuck you, Jasper. I don't need a guy that loves another person. I don't need a guy that fucks around with my heart. Fuck you." With that said, I ran away, ignoring the pain in my foot and ignoring my name being shouted.

Fuck him. Fuck Alice. Fuck me for being so blissfully ignorant.

***~*Much thanks to the readers, reviewers, and those that add the fic to their alerts/faves. So this chapter was all typed up, but I got a virus, which wiped out almost all of the files on my laptop. I lost all of my finished chapters and I was so pissed when I couldn't get them back. Whatever, on to a lighter topic. The JPOV outtake will be published very soon, so keep an eye out for it. Tell me what you think about Alice and Jasper's secret relationship. I live for reviews. Up Next: Rosalie and Bella's talk.**

**~geek**


	14. Chapter 14

***~*Big thank you to everyone that read, reviewed, and added to their alerts/faves. Oh and I cannot forget about my wonderful Beta Xo BellaItalia oX, who is absolutely magnificent. Thanks, girly!**

***~*Don't own Twilight and don't think I ever will.**

I rushed down the hallway at top speed, narrowly avoiding a collision with Nikolai Stoermer, who was leaning on a locker, sucking on a lollipop while playing with the hem of his cat sweater. He yelled at me in some weird language, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize.

The only thing on my mind was escaping this stupid town. I couldn't live in Forks anymore. Not if I was going to have to see my back-stabbing friend and my almost boyfriend make out like the horny teenagers that they truly were. No, I had to get far away from all the lies, all the secrets. I had to carve Jasper out of my heart.

A sob escaped my mouth at the thought.

Rounding the corner breathlessly, I slammed into a hard body with so much force that I fell on to the ground. Pain shot up my wrist and my ass hurt from the fall. I glanced up and all color left my face. Oh to the fucking no. Edward Masen was standing over me. His green eyes widened comically when they landed on my flushed, snot-covered face.

Tears were still trickling from my eyes and the iron hand gripping my heart squeezed just a little harder. My breath caught in my chest as he crouched down, a tissue in his outstretched hand. I hesitantly reached out for the tissue; the voice at the back of my head told me that this boy was not to be trusted. I ignored the warnings and wiped my face, silently thanking him for the Kleenex.

"Are you okay, schiz?" His voice was soft, as if he was talking to a child. Wait, what did he call me?

Quickly getting up, I glared at him before opening my mouth and letting the words flow. "Yeah, I am 'okay', Eddie-boy. I'm having a wonderfully shitty day. You wanna know why?" He arched a perfect eyebrow and anger boiled inside me. "I'm having a great day because your stupid ass friend can't keep her legs closed and insisted on ruining my fucking life. Any time I am remotely happy she has to piss all over my fucking parade like the Class A skank that she is. My day is full of sunshine and tap-dancing daffodils because I just found out that the boy I'm interested in has been fucking some bimbo behind my back. Don't worry, Douchesauras Rex, I'm doing fine and I don't need you to worry about me."

I stomped away, leaving him open-mouthed in the middle of the hallway. It should've felt great to get all of that off my chest; it didn't. The corner of my mouth turned down and I wiped my eyes as I walked out the school building. Dragging my feet, I made my way over to my van, not even bothering to protect my hair from the heavily falling rain. My body felt like lead as I shuffled from side to side. My wet hair stuck to my neck and face, causing me to shiver.

My hands reached into my pockets for my keys, but they weren't in there. Slightly panicking, I patted my jacket and checked my pockets once again. A gust of icy wind passed over me and I trembled. The cold was seeping into my bones and I methodically rubbed my arms to try to kick out the chill.

With no keys and no intention to continue the school day, I decided to just say fuck it and walk home. I wasn't going to go back into the cafeteria looking like a drowned rat. I still had some dignity left. Pshh, yeah right.

Tugging on the sweater I was wearing, I started walking home, a slight limp to my walk, thanks to my sore ass and fucked up foot. Tears fell down my face and gibberish spewed out my mouth. Half of the things I was saying weren't making any sense. I was finally broken and it was my entire fault. I was so stupid to have fallen in love with a boy that gave his heart to another. He loved her, he loved her, he loved her.

My teeth rattled when the freezing air hit my neck. I took in a shaky breath and continued to walk.

How could he love her? She was evil incarnate, Satan encased in a pretty girl wearing designer clothes and dripping expensive jewels. I was so much better than her. Materialistic things didn't claim my attention; I could shop in thrift stores for all I cared. I had an actual beating heart full of love that solely belonged to him. And yet, he didn't want me. Why?

_You're overweight, plain, repulsive, worthless._

I clenched my eyes and let the sobs wrack my body. Wrapping an arm around my waist, the pain of losing my first love washed over me. The oxygen was suffocating me, killing me. It was too much. The note. Jasper loving Alice. Alice and her false everything.

My legs gave out and I crumbled to the ground. A mixture of raindrops and tears streamed down my face. I could feel my heart breaking into miniscule pieces. I could feel it being pulverized into dust by that iron hand. Images of Alice and Jasper married, living with a dog and two perfect kids in a suburb swirled around in my brain. Them fucking each other into oblivion flashed behind my eyelids.

Silently gasping for breath, I gathered myself to my feet and wiped my face, spreading mud all over my face. I took in a shaky breath and made my way home. Aside from the sloshing sound that came from my shoes, whimpers were the only sounds I made.

It took minutes, hours to get home and when I did, I was a shaking mess. My whole body was numb and my lips were almost blue. I was completely drenched from head to toe, not one spot on me dry. Slowly walking up the stairs to my bathroom, I tried to keep my mind blank. The wet clothes stuck to me like a second skin, but I somehow managed to strip down to my underwear and bra.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I couldn't recognize the person staring back at me. Her eyes looked dead, flat and emotionless. She was shivering, her arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to bring warmth back into her body. Her hips were too wide and her waist wasn't so small. I turned my head, not sure if I could watch any longer.

I stepped inside the shower, adjusting the water to its hottest before sitting on the tiled shower floor. The hot water stung my skin, but I couldn't focus on it. I couldn't focus on the banging downstairs and I couldn't focus on my name being shouted. I shut the world out and fell into a dreamless slumber.

Hours later, I woke up in my bed, fully dressed and my sinuses acting up. I coughed, groaning when I realized that I was probably going to have to deal with a cold for a week or two. My droopy eyes were hurting and I think I was running a temperature. Yawning loudly, I sunk into the mattress a little more.

"Bella?" a soft voice reached my ears and I looked up towards the door.

Rosalie stood in my doorway, a tiny smile on her lips, a plastic container in her hands and my bag slung over her shoulder. She looked nervous and maybe a tad bit scared. I tried to come up with a reason for why she would be here. Maybe she wanted to curse me out. Or maybe she was going to throw a hissy fit at me.

I eyed her warily before saying in a croaky voice, "What're you doing here, Rose?"

She looked embarrassed as she held up the container in one hand and my school bag in her other hand.

"You sort of left your bag in the cafeteria. I saw you storming out after talking to Alice and I was waiting for you to come back, but you didn't. I dropped off your van after school. Your mom answered the door and said you were sick, so I went home and cooked up my grandma's chili soup. Just came back to leave you some." Rosalie bit her lip while moving side to side. She placed my bag atop my desk, her eyes darting across my face the whole time.

Emotions filled me, curiosity being the strongest one out of all of them. Why would Rosalie go through all that trouble? I mean, I was ignoring her. She should be putting some voodoo spell on me while dancing around a fire.

Scrunching up my eyebrows, I asked her silently, "Shouldn't you be flipping me off and telling me to spin on it?"

Her laugh made a part of me feel better, the part of me that missed my friend so dearly. I was dying of happiness. She wasn't yelling at me and accusing me of being a terrible friend, even though I deserved an award for being the worst friend in the world.

"I think you should be doing the same thing, too. Bella, I just…" she twirled a strand of hair in between in her fingertips, a frown on her face. "I was being a mega bitch and I really have no excuse. Emmett and I got in a fight the day you got that note from hell and-and I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me the most. If you give me another chance I'll be the best friend you could ever have."

As I looked at her, I saw the shy girl that was hardly let out in the open. Rosalie was so determined to be known as the tough girl who could role with the dudes and burp the alphabet backwards. Okay, maybe she didn't aim for being a complete dude, but she wasn't known for her softness. Her viper tongue and mean advice kicked people's asses and most people couldn't handle it. But I needed that in my life. I needed my old friend back.

Flashing her a smile, I told her that she could love Britney Spears and she'd still be my home skillet biscuit.

Rosalie slowly walked forward and sat on my bed. She reached into her jacket pocket, pulled out a plastic spoon, and handed me it along with the container full of chili. I blushed for no reason and popped the lid open. The aroma made me lick my lips and I quickly ate a spoonful. Sputtering when the spices ignited in my throat, I glared at the giggling girl across from me perched on my bed.

"You know my grandma likes her soups spicy." She said laughing.

I chuckled and placed the soup on the bedside table to the right of me. Wringing my hands, I tried to think about what I had to say. Everything, just tell her everything.

She was sitting on my bed, the smile still on her face, and I knew that I was going to have to tell her. Friends don't keep secrets.

"I slept with Jasper." Oh great, word vomit.

She was silent for the longest time, her face emotionless and her body tense. She stared at me unblinkingly, her mind probably processing what I just blurted out. Then, a smile slowly crept on her face and she screamed in excitement.

She jumped on top of my bed while shouting, "No fucking way!" She sat down in front of me and shook my shoulders, questions spilling out her mouth. "How was it? When did you guys bang? Was he good? Oral? Anal? Did he go down on you? Did you go down on him? Oh my god! My Bella isn't a virgin anymore!"

Blushing, I smacked her arm and told her to shut up. "Dude, my mom is probably being a creeper and watching us from some secret camera she stashed in here. And I was not DTA. So can you please keep it down because I don't need my parents knowing I'm sexually active."

Rosalie hid her smirk behind her hand. "What does that even mean? Are you going to self-destruct if you don't have sex?"

"Ugh thanks for quoting Juno." I rolled my eyes at her while playing with a loose thread on my blanket. Curling the thread around my finger, I contemplated telling Rosalie about the false friendship Alice and I formed. Oh, what the hell. I had to rant about how much of a witch Alice is. I had to say something or else my brain was going to explode into noggin confetti.

My friend smacked my arm. "That movie was the cheese. So what was up with you and Alice? You guys were being pretty friendly."

And there it was. The question I was waiting for. Of course she would ask about my short acquaintance with Lucifer.

I scratched my brow before coughing into my arm. I took another spoonful of the soup, licking the taste from my lips. Nodding noiselessly, I glanced at the Jimmy Page poster on my wall. Thank you, Jimmy Page for giving me some encouragement.

"Basically, she came over to my house offering me poisonous flowers while sprouting some bullshit about being jealous of me. I bought into it and believed her little sob story about her parents being demanding assholes. Do you know she has to take laxatives to remain skinny? Anyway, she bought me a new wardrobe and acted like a fantastic friend…" On and on I went, rambling about the bitch that managed to ruin my life in one day.

Rosalie took a sip from my soup, ignoring my warnings that she was going to catch my cooties. "So let me get this straight, she didn't write the note?"

I shrugged. "At this point, I don't know what to believe."

Biting my tongue, I had to refrain from telling Rose that Alice fucked the love of my life. My heart squeezed and I sniffled. Rose nibbled on her nail while looking over at me. Her movements ceased as she took in my state. I wasn't crying, but I could feel the tears coating my eyelashes.

Her hand flew to my shoulder and I looked up at her in pain. My heart hurt so much and I couldn't do anything about it.

"You're not telling me something." She said looking at me with a concerned expression.

I exhaled a breath before staring out the window. I couldn't say it out loud. If I did, it would make everything real. I wanted to be stupid. I wanted to be oblivious and forget everything.

Looking back at her, I found all the support I needed in her eyes. I bit my lip.

"Jasper and Alice…they've been…did you know they were dating before?" At her shocked expression, I smiled sadly. "Yeah, he told me he dated a girl named Maria. Never for a second did I think that Mary Alice was Maria all along. Ya'know, I thought he liked me. He took me to meet his uncle. That's a big deal, right? I mean, yeah he took me to a hole in the wall restaurant, but I met one of his family members, Johnny, and he told me I was the first girl Jasper had ever brought there. He was probably lying, but for a second, I pictured myself in a loving relationship with Jasper."

Tears welled in my eyes, but I wiped them away. I was going to finish this without crying. "I called Alice like ten minutes after Jasper dropped me off. She was moaning and told me she'd call me later. But when she hung up, she screamed the name 'Jas'. Then today I find out that they have been fucking since last year." I fumbled over the words and when they were out, Rose exploded.

"Those fuckers! I am going to knock her preppy ass into next month and I am going to fucking kick Jasper in the fucking balls. Let's see if he could share a bed with that whore bag once I'm done with him. Fuck this shit! I'm going to fuck them up right now." Rosalie shot up from her seat on my bed, hastily throwing on her jacket and slipping on her shoes.

I was touched by her protectiveness of me and some part of me knew I didn't deserve her as a friend. She came back to me even after I completely cut her out of my life. She was a better person than me. I was not even half the person that she was. We stopped talking for so long, and yet, she was willing to kick people's asses for me. It made my heart leap and tears of joy spring in to my eyes.

She cared about me. We were sisters.

Standing up on wobbly legs, I lightly gripped her arm, snapping her out of her little rant. I wasn't going to let her fight my battles. I was a big girl, now. I just had to deal with the problems life threw at me. It just so happens that this problem was killing me.

"Rose, let them be." She opened her mouth to interrupt, but I kept talking. "I'm serious, don't do anything to them. If they want to attribute to the spreading of AIDS, then let them. I could care less." The words were all lies. I did care. My heart was breaking as I pictured Jasper panting over Alice, both completely oblivious of the world.

Rosalie's movements faltered as her eyes took in my broken state. My lip was trembling and I was gasping in an attempt to wash down the cries climbing up my throat. Her angry expression softened and she took me in her arms, giving me the best comfort I could have ever asked for.

Her hand softly ran through my hair and down my back. She sighed, her lips at my ear, and whispered, "It's okay to cry." And so I cried in the arms of my true friend, wishing for a boy that was never mine to begin with.

***~*Let's clear up the air. A couple people asked if this really was going to end with a 'happily ever after' and the answer is yes. I can't give anything away, so that's all I will say. Jasper isn't such a hit anymore. Yes, he's a mofo and some of you said Bella should never forgive him for being a prick. Can't say I completely disagree with you there. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Up Next: The Three Musketeers Unite!**

**~geek**


	15. Chapter 15

***~*I just wanted to give a shout to**_ A Friend_**, if you're reading, I just want to thank you for the review. I'm glad that you like the story. Your review made my day.**

***~*I do NOT own any recognizable characters or places. Yada yada yada.**

Five hours later I was lying in my bed, suffering from congested sinuses and a broken heart. I could hear Rosalie speaking softly to someone on her phone, but couldn't quite catch the conversation. Not like I actually cared. I was too busy drowning in my teenage angst to really give a shit about what she was saying.

I wanted to throw myself off of La Push cliffs, or get tongued by a leper. Hell, I would rather receive ten thousand hate letters if it would take away the achy feeling in my chest. All I wanted was my heart back, but Jasper already ripped it into an unglueable mess.

He seemed so great. I thought I could trust him, but apparently I pegged him all wrong. I wish he would have left me alone instead of stringing me along in his little game with that evil skank. I would've greatly appreciated if he had stopped playing me and had simply told me 'Oh by the way, Bella, I do not like you and never will because I am actually boning the one girl that loves fucking with your chicken shit life'. Yeah, it would have shattered my fantasies of having a happy, loving relationship with him, but it would've been better than having a pink ribbon tied over my eyes and believing we were this perfect little couple.

Ugh. Damn that demonic pixie to the fiery pits of hell. She probably did write that stupid note. Oh, she got me good, though. All that time I thought she actually cared about me when in reality, she was fucking Jasper with a happy a smile on her elfin face. And like the dumbass I was, I thought she wanted to be friends because she cared. Oh, the bitch cared all right. Cared for fucking Jasper.

She was probably screwing Jasper as I laid there, weeping under my fluffy bedspread. Fuck, I was so pathetic. How could I have been so damn blind? Oh, I don't know. I mean, I was screwing around with Jasper and that pretty much left me clueless. The guy was a magician because every time he opened his mouth, my brain magically disappeared. God, I was such a slut. Why, oh why did I let him sleep with me? Why did my heart hurt so much? It felt like I was just punched in the middle of my chest with an iron fist.

I choked on the sob bubbling in my throat. Don't cry. Don't cry. You are stronger than this, Bella. C'mon he's not worth it. They're not worth it.

Angry tears sprang in my eyes and I huffed as I shot up from my bed. Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I glanced over at Rosalie, who snapped her phone close before turning towards me. She had a dreamy look in her eyes and said, "I told Em to come over."

I was about to yell at her for randomly inviting people to my house when my bedroom door busted open and a familiar voice boomed, "BELLY BUTTON!". I shut my eyes and took in one last gulp of air before my old best friend scooped me off the bed. The air got knocked out of me and I squealed when my head nearly hit my ceiling. He spun me in circles and laughed when I told him that I was going to blow chunks. After squeezing me one last time, he placed me on my feet. A little giggle left my mouth as he steadied me before I fell over. I felt so free, so happy. God it felt so good.

The big goofy smile that was previously on his face slowly disappeared when he got a good look at my face. "Bellsie-poo I missed you so much, but what the fuck happened to you, girl? Did you break up with your boyfriend?" And there went my smile.

Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes, and I quickly looked away. "No," I said pathetically, my lip quivering in an attempt to keep in the sob I desperately wanted to release. There was a loud smack followed by a shouted curse word, courtesy of Emmett. My arm wrapped around my waist once more as I blankly stared out the window. Rose was going ape-shit on Emmett, yelling at him for being an 'insensitive motherfucking asshole'. I tuned it all out, or at least I ignored what I could.

I bet Emmett thought I was a pathetic love struck little girl. I was being a crybaby, wasn't I? Did I look like some drama queen demanding a spotlight? Was I being too much of a wimp? Yes, yes, and yes.

God, I had to stop crying. Tears weren't fixing anything. They weren't going to turn back time, that was for sure. I really had to stop crying over a boy who couldn't keep his dick in his pants. He would not have this much of an affect on me. No, I was going to dust myself off, keep my head held high, and show those assholes that they did not break me. I am Isabella Marie Swan, goddamnit, and nothing was going to bring me down anymore. I wasn't going to cry over this petty shit. I was not going to sit around in my room all day and wait around for him to change his mind. He made his choice once he slipped his dick in that nasty STD infested skank.

Just thinking about those two gave me the sudden urge to break something. I wanted to take out my frustration on something, anything. My palm itched and I had to refrain from punching the wall. All of the pain I felt before had morphed into fury and now I was silently seething. Why have I been wasting my tears on some ass that was probably on to the next one? Tell me why I was not beating the absolute shit out of his evil dwarf of a fuck buddy right the fuck now. What the hell was I doing? I should have challenged Alice to a fight or some shit. Not for Jasper, but for my dignity. My pride went out of the window as soon as she shoved her fuck session with Jasper in my face.

Gah. I needed to do something to get my mind off of this shit. I was bouncing between deep anguish and overpowering rage. Shouldn't anger be the only emotional I should have been feeling? Angry that Jasper played me. Angry that I wasn't good enough for his royal highness. Angry that Alice acted like she was the salt of the earth when in reality she was like the dead blood coming out of her herpes ridden vagina. Gross, unwanted, and cunt-y.

Numb. That's how I wanted to feel. No more emotions, no more thoughts. Just...numb.

With my new goal in mind, I whirled around, while pointing a finger at Emmett. His cheek had a perfect hand print, which must have been a gift from Rose, and his eyes were filled with remorse. He attempted to apologize but I waved it away irritatingly. Just when he opened his mouth, I blurted without thinking, "Let's get drunk."

Cricket cricket.

Rose and Em's mouths were hanging wide open, drool sliding down their chins unattractively. Their eyes were wide with disbelief and they weren't saying anything, just openly gaping at me. I waved a hand in front of both their faces. No response. Shit. I didn't mean to be say that. I mean, yeah I did want to get hammered, but now my friends were acting like some retarded zombies. I mean, yeah, hearing Isabella goody-two-shoes Swan say she wants to get wasted just might send anyone into shock. Yeah, I've gone to a party or two with Em and Rose, but I always declined any beverage aside from water. Now I wanted hard liquor, preferably some Southern Comfort.

Wait. Southern Comfort... Jasper was from the South. Oh god. The tears were springing back in my eyes. Gosh, I was crying just because a fucking drink reminds me of the asshole that screwed me over. That is what some typical thirteen year old girl would do. Guess I turned thirteen when my good ol' Southern boy willingly toyed with my emotions.

My glistening eyes must have broke through both their stupors because Emmett threw me over his shoulder and Rose started to ramble about the types of alcohol we should get. I told her leave out Southern Comfort from the list. Out of my peripheral, I saw her roll her eyes, but she kept her mouth shut.

Em grabbed the blanket on my bed, covering me with it, before bounding down the stairs and out the house. The cold air hit me and I kicked Em on the back. "You ass. Hurry up and put me in the car," I shrieked.

He grinned before 'accidentally' throwing me in the back of the Jeep. I winced when my head banged on the headrest, but said nothing. Rose and Em clambered in and pretty soon, we were speeding towards Em's house.

"Oh, B, I can't wait for you to lose your alcohol virginity. Let's see how many shots of Patron you can take before you start giving me a good ol' lap dance." Em winked at me from the rear-view mirror, causing me to blush ever so slightly and smack his shoulder.

"Emmett can you not? The girl just wants a drink, not requests from a baboon for a lap dance," an irritated Rose said.

Em pouted at her, his baby blue eyes turned to her. He threw an arm around her shoulders, leaned closer to her ear, and whispered something that got her giggling like a lovesick school girl. She pushed him away and told him to keep his eyes on the road. Judging by Rose's blush, I bet he told her that he wanted to fuck her or something. Those two made me sick, in the good way, though. Y'know the 'you guys remind me of fluffy clouds and shit' kind of way. I wish... no, no, and no. It wasn't going to happen, Bella. You cannot keep torturing yourself over this. Drop it, just drop it. Forget about it today. Think later. Yeah.

I sat there for the rest of the ride, staring at Em and Rose's clasped hands. Jealousy was my companion for that car ride. I longed for that kind of a relationship so much. One where a guy wasn't a cheater and stayed utterly loyal to the girl. One with a strong foundation of love. Oh, how badly I wanted Jasper.

When we got to Emmett's house, Rose dragged me to the guest room she 'stays' in. I very well knew that when she did choose to sleep over, she usually ended up creeping into Emmett's room late at night. Unfortunately, she told me the story about how Mrs. McCarty walked in on them. They weren't doing anything bad, or that's what Rose told me. So apparently the missus got mad at Emmett for French kissing Rose. Mrs. McCarty went off in a rampage and shredded her clothes when she turned into the She-Hulk. Okay, I'm kidding about that last one. But she was a little peeved that Emmett was moving really fast with Rose. She didn't want her only son to impregnate his girlfriend at sixteen. She wanted him to have the whole college sha-bang. Whatever. So Rose ended up with the guest room. Bottom line; don't have sex at your boyfriend or girlfriend's house when the wonderful parents are home. C'mon even I wasn't that stupid.

_Obviously you were stupid enough to trust Jasper._

I shook my head clear from the nasty voice and looked up at Rosalie. She was biting her nails, something she only did when she was really, really nervous. She was somewhat curling in on herself and she kept on scratching her stomach. Her body shook and I was worried that she was getting sick. She looked so tired, and defeated. Her eyes were glistening with tears and her bottom lip quivered.

Just when I was about to ask if she was feeling good, her shining blue eyes met mine as she whispered three words that turned my world upside down.

"I was pregnant."

***~*So before I go and hide from the angry mob, I just want to thank everyone that's been reading, adding the story to their alerts/favorites, and for reviewing. Your kind words make me excited to write more. There's not one day that I don't thank my fans. Oh, and also, the Band Camp outtake is now up, so go check that out. Now I'll hide.**

**~geek**


	16. Chapter 16

***~*WARNING: There is gonna be cursing and underage drinking in this chapter, so please if you're not 18 or up, please press the back button. Oh, and you just might need a tissue.**

**Any familiar characters, locations, etc. are not my mine. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Previously**

_Just when I was about to ask if she was feeling good, her shining blue eyes met mine as she whispered three words that turned my whole world upside down._

_"I was pregnant."_

My mouth fell open in shock and my brain just about fried. What did she say? Did she actually say she was pregnant? Pregnant pregnant? No, this could not be fucking happening. Rose always took precautions when it came to_ that_. She was always safe. Hell, her parents had given her and Em the teen pregnancy speech for months on end. I seriously doubted that she would forget about safe sex so suddenly. I mean...gah. This was so not happening.

She had to be joking around. All of this was a giant prank and Ashton Kutcher was going to jump out from the closet and yell 'you just got punk'd'. Watch. That was going to happen. I just had to wait for a few more seconds. Just a couple...

Okay. There's no Ashton. This could not be real. I really couldn't believe this. She wasn't that kind of girl that got pregnant at sixteen. She had life goals and all that typical teenager shit. Rose had it all mapped out; pop out kids as soon she owned an auto-repair shop. Would she really just throw away her plan?

Oh Emmett, I was going to castrate him, with a rusty hacksaw. My best friend was crying all because he couldn't wrap the sausage. Oh shit, oh shit. Poor Em was going to get the scolding of his life when they drop the baby bomb.

'I was pregnant' kept on echoing in my brain and it was bringing back my headache from before. I clenched my eyes shut and rubbed my temples. Rosalie Lillian Hale pregnant? That was the most craziest, most farfetched-est idea in the whole world. There was no way she could be pregnant. No way. She was so... oh god my head was seriously hurting from all of this thinking. I couldn't even really process what she said because I was still in fucking shock.

Rose looked so lost, so damn broken. And yet, there I was, still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that she was pregnant.

Was pregnant... she said she _was_ pregnant. Not _is_, but was. She couldn't possibly mean she had an abortion? No. Why would I even think that? Rose loved kids. There was no way that she could willingly hurt a baby. Especially if it was hers. So...

My eyes snapped to her face and what I saw there made my heart clench. She lost her baby.

"Oh-oh no, Rose. How did this...when was...why...I am so sorry." I was stuttering like an idiot, trying to find something, anything really, that would express how terrible I felt. I didn't think any word would be good at this moment.

She laughed bitterly, her eyes focusing on the wall to the left of her. I could see her whole body trembling as she choked back her sobs. I took a step forward and with the intentions of wrapping her in a hug, I softly said her name. Her eyes turned to mine and there was such pain, such agony in them that my breath caught in my throat.

Rose bit her lip while absentmindedly shaking her head, and then she looked away again. Her arms were still wrapped around her middle and her hands were still rubbing tiny circles on her stomach.

"I didn't even know I was pregnant," she whispered, twin rivers now streaming down her face. "I didn't even know, Bella." My arms wrapped her in a protective hug and I brought her head to my shoulder. I didn't have to say anything for the dam to break and for her to start bawling.

Her hands bunched up my shirt and she sobbed into my shoulder. I pushed back her hair and stroked her back, trying with all my might to banish the tears that came to my own eyes. With each sob, more and more of my walls crumbled. I wanted to cry for her, for all the pain she was feeling and for all of her suffering. She was so crushed, so hurt and I could do nothing but hug her and tell her everything would be okay.

She dug her nails into my shoulder and I winced at the sting, but continued to brush back her hair and whisper how it was good to cry. She leaned onto me and with her weight, I fell to my knees, still holding onto her tightly. I sat down and pulled her head into my lap. Rose hid her face into my stomach and continued to cry.

At one point, Em had walked into the room, but instantly took a few steps back when he saw just how much Rose was crying. He stood in the doorway for a long time, a grim expression on his usually cheery face. I looked into his eyes, cringing when I saw the despair in them. His sadness was so out of place and it looked so foreign to me. It hurt to know that my two best friends- my only true friends- were in their own hell for the past five weeks and I was too stubborn to talk to them. And it hurt that I couldn't find a way to help them.

Emmett mouthed the words 'take care of her' and I nodded silently. He turned away, sniffling as he did so. His back was to me, but I could see the sharp falls and rises of his shoulders. I was going to have to give him a bear hug of my own after I was done being there for Rose.

He walked away just before Rose pulled her wet face away from my stomach. Her eyes were completely bloodshot and slightly swollen with all her crying, and her nose and cheeks were flushed red. She wiped her nose on her jacket sleeve and closed her eyes momentarily.

My hand ran through her wavy hair and she sighed, tilting her head to the side. Then a sudden thought came to mind. A thought that made me freeze in horror.

What if Rose had lost her baby while I was following after Alice? Fuck. I was a total bitch to her for five weeks for no reason. All those times I looked at her during lunch. I would just turn up my nose and go back to talking to Alice. Rose needed me and I had ignored her. Ignored her and Emmett.

I jumped to conclusions when she didn't visit me at the hospital. I thought she didn't care. All it took was a note for me to lose faith in my best friend and I hated myself for being so fucking weak. How did I let a hate message come between me and Rose? She was like my fucking sister.

When she had come over to visit me that one day, she looked so fucking sad. I failed to notice it, but her eyes were bloodshot and her usually perfect hair was a mess. That should have clued me in that something bad had happened. But being the selfish person that I was, I ignored it and attacked her. I cut her and Em out of my life without a meager look back.

Oh God. That explained why Emmett told me to talk to Rose. I thought he was joking the whole time about her being depressed, especially when he had mentioned his plummeting sex life. But looking at Rose now, I saw how badly she must have needed a friend. Em told me she was depressed and hurt and yet, I didn't listen. I was a selfish bitch.

I felt like a piece of shit. Rosalie was going through something far worse than what I was going through. I got a hate letter, but she, she _lost _something she can never get back. And I could what I went through, but how was Rose going to ignore what she went through? She couldn't ignore it- she didn't ignore it- and I was quick to punish her for dealing with her own problems.

Fuck. Alice had molded me into this perfect bitch and Jasper had basically screwed around with my brain so much that I had lost all common sense. Jasper.

My heart still clenched whenever I thought of him and it angered and saddened me. I couldn't believe that he would fuck me, whisper pretty words in my ear, but turn around and fuck Alice. I just couldn't deal...

Rose suddenly sat up and she took one deep breath before talking. "While you were away at summer camp, during the beginning, I was messing around with Em...sex. Alec was giving me a lot of attention, but deep down I still wanted Em. Em and I were on that break, so-so I wasn't even really looking at Alec...just teasing him. And then Alec asked me out on a date.

"Em wasn't too happy about it and damn near beat Alec's ass to a pulp, but I told him to back off. And-and that night we had sex and..." Her words trailed off and she looked away, her arm wrapping around her waist again.

All of the pieces fell together and I silently whispered, "You got pregnant."

Glancing at me with pained eyes, Rose sniffled and nodded. She started to play with her fingers and sucked in a shaky breath. "I didn't know till that day you got that letter," she whispered. My eyes darted up to her face and I gasped when I saw the fire in her eyes.

She clutched my hand and scooted closer to me on her knees. "You have to know Bella that I will always be there for you, no matter what. And I-I wanted to be there...but I...my mind wasn't...there was no way I could have been much help. I'm so, so sorry that I wasn't there for you. I feel like an asshole. I..."

Tears welled in both of our eyes and I shook my head, stopping her from apologizing further. "No. I'm sorry, Rose. All those times I looked at you, I thought you were happy that you didn't have to deal with me anymore. And when I saw Em in Seattle, he told me to talk to you. God, I was such a bitch to both of you guys. I am so sorry." Sorry for ignoring you. Sorry for snapping at you. Sorry for hanging out with Alice. Sorry for keeping Jasper a secret. Sorry for not being a friend...

A tear rolled down her face and she wiped here red-rimmed eyes while growling. "I'm such a crybaby."

I gave her a watery smile before telling her that it's good to cry. She shook her head and hugged her knees.

Biting my lip, I blurted without thinking, "I missed your smartass mouth."

Laughing quietly, Rose rolled her eyes and wiped her face with her sleeve again. "Well, I missed you, too. Even your sarcastic remarks."

I gave her a small smile and stayed silent again. I had a feeling that she wasn't quite done telling me everything and I crossed my fingers that we had gotten past all the teary subjects. But there was that one topic we have been avoiding. The baby.

Sighing softly, Rose stretched her legs in front of me and patted her stomach softly. She had a serene smile on her face, but it didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes looked so dead and so haunted. I could hear something falling. Maybe it was my heart. Yes, it had to be my heart falling to my stomach. The dread twisting and turning knots in my gut.

Her voice was void of all emotion as she recounted me the part of her story that was the most gut-wrenching.

"Em had just taken me home and I was walking up the stairs. My whole body was humming from his kiss goodbye. My parents were out at dinner, and I would have invited Em inside, but I was on my period...or it seemed like a period... I was walking up the stairs to my room when my stomach started to hurt. But, it wasn't a tiny ache. It felt like something was stabbing me in my gut, in my back. Blood was gushing from between my thighs and I called Em crying and he took me to the hospital.

"When we got there, they ran a couple tests on me and I hadn't gotten any of the results. I was walking to the bathroom, and I only made it halfway when I got dizzy and I feinted. I woke up an hour later and that's when the doctor told me...I was two and a half months along. My hand had gone directly to my stomach and a sense of excitement overwhelmed me. But then...it was a random miscarriage the doctor said. He laughed at me and said it was for the best. 'You wouldn't have been able to take care of it,' he told me.

My jaw tightened and I clenched my fists. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from asking who the fuck was her doctor. He was going to get the biggest ass kicking of his life, even Chuck Norris would wince. I was going to kick...

"Bella, I felt so dazed, so helpless. Em said I was hysterical. I don't even really remember what happened for the next couple of hours. I was just stuck. And then that's when my mom told me that you were in the hospital. I...I was so scared of walking to your room. Scared that they would pull me aside and tell me about the baby... I kept pacing in my hospital room, trying to work up the courage to go see you. And I did...you were sleeping and I stayed for as long as I could, but I was just so tired and it felt like I was dragged to hell and back. I went home, let the misery take over, and cried in my driveway.

I wiped my wet cheeks and waited patiently as she recollected herself. She breathed in shakily three times. "Those days I didn't visit you, I was crying. Each and every single day. I wanted that baby with every fiber of my being, Bella. And even though I didn't know about the baby till...I loved that baby. Why me, Bella?"

Before she could blink, I leaned forward and hugged her again. She sighed deeply and whimpered as I ran my hand through her hair.

Licking my chapped lips, I tried to come up with the best words possible. I couldn't have word vomit or say something insensitive. Not when my friend was so obviously in distraught. "It wasn't your fault, Rose. Things like this...happen. And maybe it just...maybe it was Fate."

Fate. I sounded like a bullshitter. I sounded like a Jasper Whitlock.

Rose pulled away from me and gave me one last teary smile before getting to her feet. I got to my own feet and groaned when they started to tingle, the blood finally circulating through my legs. I shook out my legs and smiled up at her.

"Thanks, Bella. I really needed that," she said softly. I waved her off and threw an arm around her shoulder.

I squeezed her tightly and told her the only thing that came to mind. "Love you, Rosie Posie." She smiled and this time, it reached her eyes.

**...**

Twenty minutes later, Rose and I finally finished clearing the air completely. We promised each other that there would be no more secrets. I had also promised to cut all the bullshit I seriously hoped that this would be the last misunderstanding we ever have. The past six weeks were hell for the both of us and if we would've just removed our heads from the shitty sand we stuck them in, we would've seen how miserable both of us were.

When we walked out to the kitchen, the first thing we saw was the crap load of alcohol perched on the kitchen island. A bottle of Jack Daniels here, a bottle of Jose Cuervo over there. It was an alcoholic's wet dream. And I wasn't an alcoholic, but with all of the shit that's happened lately, especially the Alice and Jasper bullshit, I felt like just drinking my worries away. I wanted my good pal, JD, to come and lift my spirits for the night. Just for this night.

Em walked in just then and I launched myself at him, hugging him as tight as possible. He laughed and spun me around. I discreetly leaned down and whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry...for everything."

His muscles flexed and he squeezed me just a little bit tighter.

Translation: Forgiven.

Placing me back on my feet, he ruffled my hair and then wrapped his arms around Rose's waist. Rose leaned into his strong embrace, a tiny smile on her lips.

"So," he said, his eyes suddenly lighting up, "Belly Button I bet that you'll be drunk in five minutes flat." I eyed him incredulously, my eyebrow raised in defiance. Did he really think I was that much a light weight?

Narrowing my eyes at the gigantor, I slowly responded, carefully choosing my words, "And what if I don't?" Emmett scoffed, rolling his eyes before whispering something in Rose's ear. She smiled, winked at me, and then nodded.

Em frowned and told me that he would go to school dressed as a girl. This was an offer I couldn't fucking pass up. Emmett in a dress and in matching eye shadow? I just about pissed my pants at the thought. Oh he was going to wish he never made this bet with me.

Smirking at him, I walked over to the island, and poured some vodka in a shot glass. I glanced over at gave her a questioning look. Normally I wouldn't drink, especially after our tearfest, but I was so keyed up. I had to release some of the fucked up vibes I've been carrying around for five weeks.

She nodded, giving me her consent to drink. I would thank her later, or morning if I did get wasted. And with one last smile, I tilted my head back and poured that clear liquid down my throat.

Fast forward to five minutes and three shots of vodka later and I was completely shit-faced. I was giggling like a fucking maniac, my feet failed to hold me upright, and my brain was hazier than the Pacific Northwest cloud cover.

I was leaning up against Rose and trying to convince her to take her top off. Em was egging her on, but Rose decided to be a prude today and not show us the goods.

"Oh, I got's an idea! Why don't us play Truth or-or Truth?" I slurred while wobbling on my feet. I quickly fell to the ground and I threw my legs in the air, laughing the whole time.

I saw Rose roll her eyes and shoot Em an amused look. I was giggling up at the ceiling, wondering why in the hell there weren't any clouds. Shouldn't there be clouds there? Where are the fluffy, white clouds? I wanted to pout and demand for some white fluffiness, but instead, I took another swig from the bottle containing vodka.

"Okay," Em said, looking at me with an easy grin. "Bellsie Hellsie you still holding that V card?"

I snickered and shook my head, trying my best to not puke. It felt like my brain was flopping around in my skull. Em's shocked expression brought on a new round of hysterics and I rolled from side to side, clutching my stomach as I did so. My tummy hurt so bad.

"Emmy, I love you," I sung in a girly voice and hid my big grin behind my hair.

Em stared at me wide-eyed before turning to Rose. "Ask her who she slept with."

Rose arched an eyebrow and I giggled at how weird she looked. I crawled over to her and started touching her eyebrows, giggling when she shook her head. "I already know who it is," she said. Em was about to say something, but I crawled into his lap, shooting him a grin as I smacked his cheek.

"Jasper Whitlock fucked me." I giggled, taking a swig from the bottle. "Then he ditched me for Alice in Wonderslutville."

It took me exactly five seconds to sober up and realize just what exactly I had said. I dropped the bottle I was holding with a gasp and my eyes went as wide as saucers. Oh fuck. Where the fuck did my verbal filter go?

I looked over at Em, who seemed to have just frozen over. His mouth was wide open, but his eyes were blazing with anger. His whole body was rigid and I could practically see his mind processing this new piece of information. I looked at Rose, who was worriedly looking over at her unusually silent boyfriend.

My mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. Oh god. Oh god. Em looked so fucking pissed. That vein in his temple was twitching and I felt so fucking uncomfortable when his unblinking stare landed on me. He was just looking at me with those crystal blue's and it was getting extremely unnerving. Maybe he thought that I would crack and tell him all about my deflowering. If he kept staring at me like that I wasn't going to stay silent for long.

Fuck my unfiltered mouth. I wasn't supposed to let that shit slip. I could already see the outcome of this clusterfuck. Jasper would hate me for turning his best friend against him. Em would think our whole friendship was based on secrets. And Alice would- gah, I didn't even want to think about what that back-stabbing skank whore would do.

Then out of fucking left field, Em jumped up, threw his jacket on and ran out the door. I stared after him, my mind too slow to really make the decision to go after him. Rose ran behind him, but came back moments later with an irritated look, stating that Jasper was probably going to skip school for the next week or two. I crossed my fingers, hoped against hope that Emmett wasn't driving to Jasper's house, and took a long swig from my bottle, relishing in the vodkalicious burn.

Oh, Isabella, Isabella. You are such a fucking retard. What the fuck did you do now?

***~*I was reply-review fail and I am so sorry about that. I read each one and they all made me smile. Even after a lot of rewriting, this chapter doesn't fully satisfy me, but I really had to get something out there. I apologize if it wasn't good or anything, I might go back and rewrite it. So what do you think? **

**~geek**


	17. Chapter 17

***~*Long time, no see? Yes, I am back with some updates. Been forever since I write any type of fanfics and I feel like shit for making ya'll wait so long. Hopefully you forgive me? But long ass A/N at the bottom if interested.**

**I do not own any recognizable characters, places, etc.. The plot however, is mine.**

Sighing after being directed to voicemail for the twelfth time today, I snapped the phone shut, willing the angry tears away.

Emmett was avoiding me. He was purposely ignoring my calls, texts, fuck he even ignored my insistent banging on his bedroom door. Mrs. McCarty didn't say anything about my sudden need to nag her only son, but I saw the concern in her eyes. She probably thought I was sprung on Em or something. Gross.

Rose was trying her damnest to get her _asshole_ boyfriend to talk to me, but no dice. I forgot how stubborn and how much of a dick he could be. Never thought I'd be the one he would direct this asshole-ness to.

I played with the phone in my hands nervously. Two days, no answer. Was I the freakin' plague suddenly? Cause I didn't get the memo.

Looking at it from Em's perspective, what I did was without a doubt bitchy. Not only did I repeatedly bone his best friend and keep it a secret, but I threw away his and Rose's friendship. And for what? A cheating fuck buddy and a fake bestie that would sell my organs to the black market if it got her a new pair of Menolos.

If I was being honest with myself, something I've failed to do, I deserve much worse than the silent treatment from Em. I should be chucked off one of the cliffs in La Push and left there to rot on the ocean floor. Drowning must be uncomfortable. Fishes had to be aliens cause that living underwater thing seems too cray.

I shook my head at that random thought and flipped open my phone. Just one more time. He might answer.

God, he probably thinks I'm almost, if not crazier than Jessica Stanley...and that bitch was a couple toons from being totally loony.

I dialed the number and bit my lip as the dial tone rang in my ear. Breathe, Bella, breathe. He's away from his phone, it's on silent and he's sleeping. Maybe he's in the bathroom taking a dump and can't pick up. Ew I made a mental note to bleach my brain to get rid of that god-awful mental image.

Just as I was about to hang up, a gruff voice answered with a very rude "what do you want?"

Well, hello to you, too, asshole.

"Maybe I wouldn't be acting like an asshole if you hadn't lied about fucking my boy," Em spat viciously. Guess my filter still wasn't going to come back any time soon.

The tone he was using was really annoying me and the shit he was saying was pissing me off. You would think I killed his dog, and that mutt he owned was definitely not going to be dying any time soon.

And when the fuck did he start referring to Jasper as his 'boy'? Fuck that. "First of all, I never once lied to you. So get off your high horse Sir McCarty. And I had no idea the asshole spawn was your 'boy'. Tell me, did that friendship bloom after or before you hit him?"

Em breathed roughly before I heard a loud succession of bangs against my door. The fucking idiot was actually yelling at me from outside my room while remaining on the phone.

"Oh now you wanna talk to me, dick." I mumbled into the phone. I was actually terrified of what exactly Emmett had to say to me. He was like an older brother and disappointing him was worse than the pope damning you to a life in hell for eternity. Luckily for me, I didn't believe in religion.

I mean, an invisible dude floating on clouds, allowing some jerks to kill the fruit of his loins. Whoever wrote that story needed to pass whatever they had cause I want some of that stuff.

Whoa, wrong thought trail. Focus on the asshole breaking down your door.

Mustering up my inner Cowardly Lion, I snapped my phone shut and walked over to my door. Em was still knocking and screaming like a banshee. My parents must have gone somewhere cause they would have told Em to knock it off already. Or maybe not; they adored the guy. Figures.

I threw open the door and had to quickly dodge the fist that was meant to bang on the door. I shot a glare at the giant crowding up my hallway, before I walked stiffly to my bed and parked my ass on the edge. Better make myself comfortable for the Grizz Rage.

"Are you stupid or stupid? Jasper? The dude that only knows you as "Rosalie-big-tits-Hale's-best-friend? I thought you were a fucking genius, Bells, but fuck, you might as well be a fucking retard!" Em's eyes were blazing with a barely contained rage and each one of his muscles were shaking. He was pissed.

Still didn't give him the right to yell at me like I was a goddamn seven-year old.

So I got up from my bed and walked over to him to show him who was boss.

Emmett was at least a foot and a half taller than me; I think my thigh was the size of his forearm, so I wasn't sure why I thought I could intimidate him. Aren't I stupid.

I craned my neck up, up to stare at him and I jabbed a skinny finger into his ribcage. I shit you not, my finger cracked. I winced, but continued with my macho act. If he could yell at me, then I could yell right back at him. See how he likes it.

When I looked up into his eyes, though, all my anger melted away and regret and pain filled me. I fell the tears well up and the air whoosh out from my lungs, almost as if I got sucker punched in the gut.

He wasn't angry that I slept with Jasper. He was angry that I only told him about Jasper because I had no control over my drunk mouth.

I fucked up. i really fucked everything up this time.

A choked sob broke the silence and as my knees gave out, Em's arms swooped me into a bone-crushing hug. His face was in my hair and he was patting my head to get me to stop crying. I had to smile because even when I royally pissed him off, he still cared.

His voice was gentle when he spoke this time. "Of course I care, Bells. Anybody that fucks with you, fucks with me. Best friend or not, I had to kick his ass."

I sucked in a deep breath and shook my head. He fought Jasper. He actually physically attacked his friend. Oh fuck. Jasper probably hated me. He won't talk to me ever again. Hr hated me, hated my every being. What did I do?

Emmett huffed and gently shook my shoulders. I looked up at him with wide eyes, trying to stop the panic creeping up my throat. I was gonna have an anxiety attack if I didn't calm down soon. But how was I supposed to stay calm when I was the reason Em fought Jasper. I was practically a co-assistant-whatever in an assault. Oh God, could I get arrested? Emmett! He could be thrown in jail. Shit. I fucked everything up.

I was jarred out of my rapidly changing thoughts once again. Em was blabbing about how no charges were gonna be pressed because Jasper got a justified ass whooping. Really, I needed him to shut up so I could think through the crazy shit.

"Besides he didn't fight back. Took every single hit." Now that got my attention.

My head snapped in Em's direction and I felt the anger returning. Mood swings galore.

In the calmest voice I've ever used with him, I asked him to repeat what he just said. He did. I nodded slowly. He looked at me with apprehension, clearly wary of the argument that I was about to kickstart.

Quick as lightning, I punched his shoulder as hard as I could. We cussed at the same time, cause shit, I kept forgetting he's Mr. Zero-Percent-Body-Fat.

His arms dropped from around me as he cried out in surprise. "What the fuck, Bella? I thought you'd be happy about me beating that pussy's ass!"

I wiped the angry tears away and gave Em the stink eye. "No, asshole, I am not fucking happy. You aren't allowed to go HAM on random ass people. You're ass could be carted off to jail. All because you wanna be real macho. I could handle my shit. I don't need-"

"Bullshit!"

I gaped at him, my eyes bugging put of my skull. Did he just interrupt me? Oh hell no.

My mouth was open to speak up but he cut me off before I could start.

"You couldn't handle this shit with Jasper if you even tried. He fucked around with your heart. You may not be my blood, but damn you're like a little sister to me. I couldn't let that shit slide. I couldn't fucking dream of it. I'm sorry if you don't like what I did, but that asshole knew he fucked up. When I showed up at his house, he knew why I was there and he took it. At least he owned up to that."

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. That hangover was still torturing me, most likely cause I haven't eaten anything other than stale crackers for the past two days. My mom's fault for forgetting to restock the kitchen. I needed a drink or something.

Emmett's phone rang, and all I could focus on were the words "mammals" and "discovery channel" blaring out of his phone speakers. Normally I would laugh at the ridiculous ringtone, but I was on a roller coaster of emotions...and I wasn't even on my rag, yet.

The music ended abruptly and I looked up at Em. His hand was clenched around his phone and if his eyes were lasers, the plastic object would have exploded by now.

He looked back at me and asked me an unexpected question.

"Do you love him?"

I wanted to cry again. Maybe I was cause my hands were being pelted with drops. I wanted to scream at Em for asking me the one question I was avoiding asking myself. But I had to be honest. No more lying to him, to myself.

Licking my lips, I gasped a little at the pain in my chest. Fuck. I did love that asshole. I loved him enough to make a fool of myself repeatedly. But fuck, I hated him, too. I had to hate him.

"No...yes, I dunno, Emmett! My heart hurts so damn much. I don't want to think about it. I want to forget about him and that bitch. And why does it hurt so fucking much Em?" I was mess. A fucking mess.

Emmett didn't say anything, just wrapped me up in a hug that lifted my feet off the ground. He was a brother to me and was only looking out for my heart. How could I be mad that he did something so noble?

I gripped his shirt and whispered my thanks non-stop. He needed to know that I was grateful of everything he has ever done for me. He had to know.

I was a bitch and didn't deserve him or Rosie, but they were my besties. My family in this dump of a town. I was the shitty factor in this equation, and they would always be the reliable ones. The ones that would always have my back. I loved them and I was an idiot for thinking I could forget and replace them.

After I cried myself out, I pretended to blow my nose on his plain gray shirt. When he whined about how gross I was, I giggled and wiped my eyes with a hand. We looked at each other, tiny smiles on our lips. It was good. Our friendship was good. Thank the founders.

I threw out my pinky and smirked as he raised his eyebrow silently. When he didn't offer his pinky in return, I huffed in frustration before forcefully intertwining our little fingers together.

"I promise that from now on I will tell you everything. I guess even my sex life since you wanna take on the big bro role. I promise no more secrets, ever."

He gave me a goofy ass smile and we shook on it. Damn, I was gonna have to call Rose and tell her how her boyfriend was not being a douche anymore.

"I don't want you anywhere near him." Em told me in a serious tone.

I gave him an incredulous look and scratched the top of my head like the dumbass I was. When the fuck did he become my dad? He already beat Jasper's ass, which I still felt guilty about, so why the fuck was he even telling me what to do?

Plus he ruined a perfectly awesome moment between us. And managed to announce the obvious. Of course I was gonna stay away from the asshat. There was only so much heartbreak I could take.

My phone started to ring and I looked down at the caller ID.

Edward Masen.

My mouth dropped open and I gaped at the phone like it was some kind of mutant monkey. This day just kept getting weirder and weirder. First, Em came over to my house after not speaking me to for two days and now Edward Masen, the dude I decked for kissing me, was calling? I could feel the headache returning. I just got rid of that damn hangover.

Em glared at me before reaching out for the phone. I moved my arm before he could grab the phone and started walking out of my room. "Who is it?" Em called after me impatiently.

I narrowed my eyes at him and told him, "Nunya Beeswax."

Oops there goes the no secrets rule. Ah fuck, I'll tell him as soon as I find out what Edward fucking Masen wanted.

Snapping the phone open, I was about to say hello, but was quickly cut off by the velvety voice I've come to hate. "Bella, I need your help."

Oh great, just what I needed. A desperate Masen expecting me to be at his beck and call.

"This better be good," I stated in a saccharine voice. I didn't want to be a bitch, but fuck it. He hung out with Alice and by association, he was the enemy. Besides, I still haven't forgotten how he practically mouth-raped me.

"Alice wants to know if you're having as much fun as she's having with Jasper." His voice was cruel and I could picture the sneer on his face.

Fuck him and fuck Alice. Fuck Jasper, too.

I hung up and looked at Emmett, who was looking at me expectantly. I shrugged, trying to make it seem like it was not a big deal. Even though it stung like a bitch.

"Masen wanting to fuck with me." My voice was void of all emotion, but when I glanced at Em, I saw his eyes flash. He was pissed, again.

His voice was extremely quiet and it was scary but his words brought a smile to my face.

"Fuck them."

***~*Really does feel good writing this story again. I won't lie to any of you. I have been working through my depression and for a couple of months it was really bad, so bad that I started picking up self-destructive habits. You never quite realize how much of a crappy mess you are until others intervene. No specifics, but I got the swift kick in the ass that I needed and switched therapists, hell I even switched degrees. There's still days where I can't shake these ugly feelings and I guess it will get better eventually. But thanks to all of my readers for instilling hope in me. Thank you, thank you.**

**STORY NOTES: Song mentioned as Emmett's ringtone is The Bad Touch, Bloodhound Gang. Personally, this was one of my favorite chapters to write. Simply because I got to write friendly fluff between Emmett and Bella. **

**Any comments about the chapter, put em in a review. I'd love to hear what you have to say. Even if you think it was crap.**

**~geek**


	18. Aren't We All Sorry

** I do not own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen - Aren't We All Sorry<strong>

"Aren't they so cute together?" a loud voice practically shouted, the voice echoing off the tiles in the bathroom.

I was squatting a few inches above the toilet, because I hated when my ass touched the germ-infested seat. I was also listening to the annoying babel spewing from Jessica Stanley's mouth. I couldn't understand her need to speak so loud in a small, enclosed space. She didn't even have anything remotely interesting to say.

There was a snort and then the sound of something falling into the sink. "Shit! That was Smashbox." Lauren took a long pause before speaking in an angry tone. "I don't get what's the big deal about the pixie bitch. No ass or tits. She probably sucks at sucking dick."

Jessica started to laugh uncontrollably to Lauren's crude joke as if it was the funniest thing that's ever reached her tone deaf ears. I rolled my eyes and tried to force myself to pee faster. All that cranberry juice was making me pee gallons.

My thighs were burning from the amount of time I've been squatting over this toilet and my legs were shaking ever so slightly. "C'mon, c'mon," I whispered to myself.

After I finally got rid of everything in my bladder, I reached for the toilet paper, but saw none. I looked all over the stall, hoping against hope that a TP roll would appear in front of my eyes.

"I heard that Bella Swan was dating Jasper for like an hour," Jessica said, smugness palpable in her voice.

My heart sank a little and my throat constricted at the mention of my name. How did they find out? And why wasn't there any freaking toilet paper in here?

One of the girls hummed, but didn't respond. My thighs were seriously burning and I could have sworn sweat was starting to form on my brow. I was about to swallow my pride to ask for some toilet paper when Lauren decided to talk.

"Bella Swan. That cow couldn't get a guy even if she threw herself at his feet. Besides," her tone saccharine sweet, "nobody is good enough for Whitlock."

My legs finally gave out and I landed with a loud thump onto the toilet seat. Both girls gasped and I had to bite my tongue from cursing loudly.

I fully swallowed my pride before asking them for some toilet paper. They both snickered.

Lauren spoke, her tone waspish and mean. "So Swan, did you hear? Jasper's dating that midget pixie. I guess it's a step up from your fat ass."

I grinded my teeth together to stop myself from saying something equally nasty to Lauren and her ditzy cronie. Instead, I asked for toilet paper once again because I had no desire to stay here for one more second.

Both girls giggled louder than necessary, but abruptly tapered off when the toilet in the stall next to mine was flushed. I heard the sound of the toilet paper dispenser clanking in its plastic holder then the heavy thuds of boots making contact with the cheap linoleum floor. A tanned hand, with rolled up paper, invaded my stall from above and I was so shocked that my brain took a minute to react and grab the proffered handful.

"Thanks," I mumbled graciously before returning to my business. The stranger-chick hummed in response before whistling a soft tune beneath her breath. The water faucet was running and was the only sound for a long time, but Jessica quickly broke the silence.

"Who are you?" I wasn't sure how it was possible, but she managed to heap on the rudeness within three small words.

The humming stopped, the faucet squeaked as it was shut off and I flushed the toilet. There was silence before the stranger-chick responded in a slow, almost southern-like accent. "Victoria Biers. New girl that doesn't tolerate bullying bitches like you two."

Both Lauren and Jessica huffed indignantly before slamming the door open and click-clacking out of the bathroom. Although I heard one of them mutter 'bitch'.

I slid back the lock of the bathroom stall and slipped out quietly. The girl I saw standing in front of the sink was somebody I could never imagine in Forks.

She had long, curly flaming-red hair that seemed to bounce with every slight movement she made. Her skin was a golden color that you could only achieve when living in warm weathers and sunny cities. When she turned her head in my direction, and offered me a smile, I caught sight of vivid gray eyes framed by auburn eyelashes. But what made her so different and such a stranger was the clear septum piercing and the band t-shirt that was cut at the collar and midriff. She had dark red combat boots and a heavy worn-in leather jacket.

She was cool.

I walked up to the sink next to her and washed my hands. Just as I finished drying my hands out, she grabbed my hand and shook it with force.

"I'm Victoria Biers."

I offered a tiny smile and responded, gripping her hand just a little bit tighter. "Bella Swan."

We dropped each others hands and I fixed the strap of my messenger bag. We both walked out together and I looked over at her again. She was taller than me, maybe two inches, and curvier, almost putting Rose too shame. Almost.

"So where are you from?" I asked her politely because there was no way that she was a local.

She smirked and pulled up her shirt further up her torso. The words "Bred in Alabama" were tattooed onto her ribcage. I stared, amazed at the black ink that adorned her skin. This girl had attitude.

Just then, there was a loud whistle behind me and a warm hand slapped my ass. I jumped away from the wandering hand and turned to face my attacker, ready to Jean Claude Van Damme this guy.

When I turned around however, it was like I was looking at a model fresh off of a GQ cover shoot. He was gorgeous and I forgot all about his wandering hands.

"Seriously, Riley, you can't wait a week before you start hitting on everything that breaths?" Victoria was smirking when she had said this, but started to frown when she saw the dazed look in my eyes.

The boy, practically man, in front of me had eyes almost identical to Victoria's, but there were bright blue flecks in his gunmetal irises. Dirty blonde hair that was cut short and a tall, wiry 6"3 frame. He had an equally dazed look in his eyes, but shook his head as if to get rid of the fogginess clouding his mind.

He flashed me a bright smile before grabbing me into a tight hug, as if we were long lost friends reuniting. It felt...nice, and he smelled great.

"Riley Biers at your service ma'am," he drawled and winked when he released me from his arms.

I repeated my name without blushing for once and I was pleased with myself. I just couldn't understand how so much hotness could be packed into one body. It just wasn't fair. First Jasper, and now this Riley guy. Totally unfair.

And that was the end of my smile. I had to swallow away the bitter taste of remembering whatshisname and I mentally kicked myself for dwelling on that whole thing again. No more.

Shifting a little on my feet, I glanced between the two, noting the similar facial features and uncanny resemblance. It took me a while, but after a few awkward moments of my blatant staring, a puzzle seemed to click within my mind.

I motioned between the two of them with a finger, my mouth slightly turned up in a smile. "Are you guys like twins or something? Cause y'know you look like carbon copies of each other."

They started to laugh, and Riley wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Oh Vicky, I like her. Maybe mom will let me keep her," he said, adding a wink.

Victoria rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her curls. She checked her watch, and looked back at me expectantly. I jolted into action and asked them where their next class was. Turns out both were in my US History class.

I spun around and began to walk backwards, which was a feat for my clumsy-self, and led them to class. "Hello, my name is Bella and I'll be your tour guide today." When Riley chuckled and Victoria smirked, I pointed to the lockers on either side of the hall. "These are the faulty pieces of metal that were made to store your books, but instead they're such a pain in the ass that the school is more likely to cover your future back problems than give you a new locker."

My smile was effortless and my words came to me easily enough. I was just glad that I had two new people to be myself around. They thought I was funny and I seriously dreaded the moment that I'd become a nuisance to them, because that's all I ever was in this town. They may be smiling and laughing right now but I had little next to no hope that they would resist the brainwashing that spilled in this school.

As I was walking them through the science building, the last one before we reached the history building, I was jostled by a rather hard body, and my legs sort of gave out. I landed on my butt roughly and was about to badmouth whoever bumped into me, but my eyes landed on golden curls and oceanic eyes.

He was staring at me, well, more like staring down at me since he stood perfectly fine on his own two feet. His mouth was open, and his lips moving, as if he was trying to force himself to say something.

Suddenly, there was a white, hot rage that seemed to bubble over within me. I wanted to hit him so badly, just to cause him some semblance of pain that he caused me. I wanted him to hurt.

I curled my legs underneath me and sat up straight. I pointed a finger at him and looked at Victoria and Riley.

"And look who has decided to grant us with the wonderful gift of their presence. Come on down, Jasper Cheating Whitlock!" He looked like he wanted to bolt at that moment, but I was feeling too much. So many emotions were breaking through my walls that I couldn't even think straight.

His hands started to shake and if I knew him well enough I'd say that he was about to cry or run. His eyes traveled over my new friends before turning and trying to walk away. Quick as lightning, I reached out and grabbed his ankle without thinking. My grip was surprisingly strong so when I tugged on his ankle his body lurched to a stop.

Those frosty eyes shot daggers at me as he tried to jerk away. "Let go."

My smile was forced, but my heart was exploding in my chest. Why was I willingly touching him? He didn't want me.

Smiling even brighter, I glanced back at Victoria and Riley, the latter of which was looking extremely uncomfortable. "Meet Jasper Cheating Whitlock, star quarterback, and forward for the soccer team. Oh don't be fooled, though. He may look like the sweet, All-American, momma's boy that wouldn't dare deflower the girl next door before marriage, but I swear to you horns are holding up his halo." At this point he was trying with all of his might to get away from me, but my grip stayed firm.

"You know," a sarcastic laugh bursted through my lips, "I thought he was the guy of my dreams, my fucking personal Clark Kent waiting to woo me and take me to Krypton and back. Didn't quite factor in the fact that he doesn't think with the right head. Or that he has no regard for the helpess, naive girl that gave up her V-card at some stupid camp to some stupid asshole that only wanted to stupidly fuck around."

I withdrew my hand and wiped it on my jeans, wanting to get rid of the scum tainting my hand. I didn't yell, but by the end of my tirade I was taking in ragged breaths. I felt a prickling in my eyes, but I refused to cry. That crybaby Bella grew up.

I glanced at Jasper, and really looked at him and was shocked to see the amount of hurt showing so plainly on his face. I didn't notice it before, but he had dark circles under his eyes and what looked like a week's worth of unshaved scruff. That golden hair of his hung limply around his gaunt face. I didn't think it was physically possible, but it looked like he shrunk in height and lost a lot of weight, so much so that he looked unrecognizable. His eyes though were what bothered me. The normally bright blue-green color of his irises was dull and lifeless. Jasper looked haunted and I could almost feel the pain and regret rolling off of him in waves. I felt the apology coming up my throat like vomit, but I had to ignore it.

_He doesn't want you. Don't touch him._

Jasper looked at me and mouthed two words. "I'm sorry."

I was sorry too. So fucking sorry that I let him come anywhere near me.

Bringing myself to my feet, I watched Jasper as he brought a fist to his mouth and turned his back to me. Running my hand through my hair, I cursed loudly and slammed my fist into the locker. I instantly cried out and a warm arm wrapped around my torso. I thrashed and screamed, but another arm wrapped around my shoulder and a hand grabbed my head and I was breathing against a neck and a familiar scent wrapped around me.

My eyes were blurry with my tears and I began to cry against the smooth skin. The person holding me was telling me to relax and be quiet, but I couldn't stop sobbing.

I pulled away and screamed, "I fucking hate you, Jasper! I hate you so fucking much!"

I didn't realize that the person who was holding me was Jasper himself and that he was sharing a pained look with Victoria and Riley.

Weren't we all fucking sorry, though?

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><p><strong> So I'm back, finally. Shit happened but life is a bitch and keeps going. I'm not too happy with this chapter, mainly cause I didn't plan Jasper's appearance like this, but oh well. Just a heads up to all of my readers, this story is going through some revisions that I decided to make after I read over the previous chapters because my gosh, the horror! I'm done with four chapters, so thirteen more to go. There's no need to go back and read it all over again, but if you want, go for it! <strong>

**I want to thank all the people that read, review, favorite/alert this story who continue to be so patient with me. I know I must drive you guys crazy with the lack of updates. Hopefully I made up for it with this update. What did you think of Bella in this chapter? Do you guys still hate Jasper? And what do you want to happen with Riley? I love hearing what you guys think, so review.**

**And this is off-topic, but who else is excited for the World Cup? I'm curious to know whether there's some diehard futbol fans out there in the ****fanfic community. Believe it or not, the World Cup greatly inspired me to write. I love it when the world catches that futbol fever and I'd love to hear which teams ya'll are supporting ;). Go Argentina! Even though most of my friends and family are rooting for Spain, Mexico and Brazil. **

**~geek**


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